Tangent Hearts, Chosen Hearts Series Novella S4
by HDorothy
Summary: In a galaxy far, far away—Jack and Teal´c are suffocating and freezing to death aboard the X301 Intercept, but life as SG1 knows it, is about to change with one simple word.“Yes!”


139

Title: Tangent Hearts - Novella - Chosen Hearts Series - S4

Author: HDorothy aka HailDorothy (the same)

Email: Romance/Humor/Friendship/Angst

Warnings: Violence, Homer/Jack Thud Warning

Pairing: Jack/Sam

Others: Jacob, Teal'c, Daniel, Cassandra, Janet, Heru'ur, etc.

Season: S4

Spoilers: 412 Tangent, 410 Beneath The Surface, 406 Window of Opportunity, 405 Divide and Conquer, 209 Secrets, 206 Thor's Chariot.

Rating: T

Summary: In a galaxy far, far away—Jack and Teal´c are marooned, suffocating and freezing to death aboard the X-301 Intercept, a modified Goa'uld death glider. But do not fear for Dorothy is here, and life as SG-1 knows it, is about to change with one simple word. _"Yes!" _Oy! Did I mention the Goa'uld Heru'ur has the hots for Sam?

Archive: Jackfic, GateWorld, Heliopolis, SamandJack, FanFiction

File size: 437 KB

Series Summary: This is an established storyline in which Jack and Sam fell in love during Jack's first retirement. When Jack is re-commissioned and Sam inadvertently assigned his subordinate, they pretend to be strangers and put their wannabe lovers relationship on hold. Little do they realize it will not be a matter of months, but years, before they can follow through on the desire of their 'C_hosen Hearts_._'_

Author's Note: With a few obvious exceptions, I remain true to canon.

Song: _Here We Are_: Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine.1989 © _The Keeper of the Stars_: Tracy Byrd 1994 ©

Dedicated: To all you romantic hearts who never give up Jack and Sam.

Appreciations: To Carol Sue my beta and girlfriend, who keeps me humble in your own perverted way. And um, thanks for the crocheted thong. LOL To Dinkydow, your knowledge of SG-1 canon makes me a better storyteller.

To the Keeper of the Stars, You gave me the gift of the bards. I'm forever grateful!

Disclaimer: All publicity recognizable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This series may include script excerpts from the TV Series 'Stargate SG-1.' This fan fiction was created for entertainment, not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks are intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of said author, HailDorothy 2004 ©.

Feedback: Gosh, darn, don't make me beg! Pretty Please? Starvation of this writer's muse is no pleasant sight. All feedback is food for thought and well digested. "Feed me, Seymour!" (The Little Shop of Horrors)

PROLOGUE 

_You Gotta Be Kidding!_

'_**Webster's definition of: Tangent – In immediate physical contact; touching.' **_

"You gotta be kidding, Oma!" Daniel soared among the stars, still amazed at the flawless beauty of the heavens.

"Why?"

"Because, well . . .It was such a botched-up stab at matchmaking."

"Whose stab?"

Ignoring Oma's insistent tone, Daniel hovered over the death glider that held his two best buddies. Alighting cross-legged on the canopy over Jack's cockpit, Daniel scowled at the unconscious man inside.

"Daniel Jackson, I asked you a question?" Oma settled over Teal'c who was in deep Kelnorim.

"Ours." He gestured at Teal'c. "We meant well, really we did. We just screwed up royally. Why they almost died, even worse almost became Goa'uld."

"The key word is, _almost_. Again you take responsibility for the choices Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter made freely."

"Well, they maybe agreed they were in love, but Teal'c and I forced their hand when we should have just let nature take its course."

"Daniel," Oma chided, "Even if you and Teal'c hadn't interfered they would have eventually followed through on the desire of their _tangent hearts_."

"Ya think?"

"Yeah."

CHAPTER ONE 

_Lost In Space_

"_Here we are Face to face We forget, time and place Yep, Babe, we're so lost in freaking space . . ."_

Tripping through Oz, Jack's head lulled back and forth in the cockpit. First Dorothy was kissing him, now she was swearing at him . . .again.

"Dammit, Colonel! We haven't come all this way to take you home in a box, now wake up!"

_Name's O'Neill, Jack O'Neill with two LL's, Dorothy!_

"Let me give them a nudge," the wizard's voice boomed into his fantasy.

Dorothy slugged Jack. _Dang that Kansas girl has spunk._

"Huh?" He lifted his heavy aching head.

"Colonel O'Neill?" Dorothy called out.

_Call me Scarecrow, Jack, . . .hey just call me. _His head ready to detonate Jack blinked several times, squinting from the cockpit. _Wow! Another ship. Big ship. Way bigger than his. Must be the Wiz's or that wicked Goa'uld of the West._

"Carter?"

"Yes, sir!" She smiled away.

"Hiii!" He tried to focus on her beautiful smile, but it kept swimming or maybe he was swimming. Yeah.

"Hi, sir. We're gonna find a way to get you back home safe and warm. What's your reserve oxygen status?"

"Uh—I don't—what?"

"What's your reserve oxygen status?" Dorothy spoke slower.

"Car-ter, is that you?" Blinking, he stared at her then the really big ship.

"Sir, we're over here ready to bring you home. You're gonna have to trust me."

"Home? Doesn't look like Kansas, Dorothy." Confused, Jack glanced around. _Nope, definitely not home. Lost in Space! A television series? _He grinned.

"He's suffering from anoxia, oxygen deprivation." Jack heard Dorothy tell the munchkin with glasses and then, "Do you trust me, sir?"

Sluggish, he snapped his head back around and gazed at her. "Sure!" He grinned wider. _Trust you with my heart, my life . . .Oy! Tell her. Yeah. Um, what?_

"Good! Is Teal´c conscious?"

"Teal´c?" Jack's dry voice crackled. Nothing. Jack flipped his pen at the Jaffa's flight helmet. "Teal´c?" he yelled hoarsely.

"O'Neill?" The Jaffa awoke from meditation.

"Look, it's Carter! She wants to talk to you."

"Major Carter! Little oxygen remains," insisted Teal´c.

"Cabin pressure?"

"Also very low."

"We copy that. So we want you to do exactly as we say. First, remove your restraints. Then on my mark, blow the canopy of the glider then push off."

"We will die!" Teal´c announced.

_Ya think?_

"Negative! It'll be all right if it's only for a few seconds."

_As time flies seconds, minutes, hours are all relative. Hey, I'm thinking like Carter. Sweet. _

"Teal´c," the all-knowing Oz boomed from behind his curtain, "The only way we can bring you aboard is with the ring transporter. That means you have to be clear of the glider. Got it?"

"I understand."

_Ask Dorothy—Carter. . . Yeah._

"Good," the wizard explained, "I need you at least 5 meters from the scout ship, close together. Stand by until I get into position."

"Caar-teer?" Odd, how his tongue wouldn't move with his thoughts and Dorothy looked fuzzy but cute.

"Sir?"

"It's you, right?" Jack stared out his cockpit at her beautiful face, wondering what happened to her brown braids, that cute blue checkered number and Toto.

"Yes, sir. We haven't much time!"

"Hey, Dorothy, your scarecrow's crazy for his girl." He felt a dopey smile twist his pained facial muscles.

"Sir! We have to— "

"Get hitched! Love you, Samantha Jean Carter!" He smirked and wiggled his brows beneath his helmet. "Marry me?"

"Yes! Um, wow! He's delusional, Dad."

"Jacob, is that you?"

"Yes, it is, Jack. Now do what we tell you."

"Did you know your ship's bigger than ours? Hey, Carter, going to marry me or what?"

"Colonel, we need you to concentrate," Sam persevered.

"Blow the canopy." _Dorothy said yes!_

She nodded. "On my mark, not before."

"Right!" Her steady voice kept him focused.

"Make sure your helmets are secure, and set your oxygen at 100. You'll need to pre-breathe the last breaths in deep breaths, holding each one in. You'll need to power the system before you blow the canopy. Then disconnect the umbilical, and exhale as much as possible. Stand by!"

Pre-breathe, hold, power system, blow canopy, umbilical, and exhale. Yeah, I can do that.

"We're in position. Stand by in the hold," the wizard ordered his four-eyed munchkin.

"Colonel, Teal'c? Are you ready?" Sam called out.

"Ready!" _Is the Pope Catholic?_

Sam counted down, "Three—two—one—mark!"

The canopy opened and Jack and Teal'c floated up toward the larger ship's belly. The cargo door opened and the transporter rings snatched them up, depositing them in the cargo bay. The moment the ring retracted Jack and Teal'c toppled over.

"They're all right!" Jack heard Daniel yell out.

In the recesses of his hazy mind Jack heard Sam report, "Flight, this is Digger Two. We have Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c aboard! They're both alive!"

Daniel released Jack's O2 mask. Flat on his back, he sucked air and held his hammering head. He wanted to puke. When he opened his smarting eyes he saw a multitude of Daniel, Jacob and Teal´c's

"Andyou were there and you were there and . . ." He waved a limp hand at each of them.

Removing his helmet and getting to his feet, Teal'c smiled down at Jack. Thanks to Junior, the Jaffa had a speedy recovery.

Jack watched a blurred Sam enter the cargo bay. "Welcome aboard!" She hurried toward him, but Jacob knelt in front of him. The Tau´ri/Tok´ra gave him a relieved smile.

"Jacob . . ." Jack smiled, his voice slow and hoarse, "Thanks for stopping by."

"What the hell—I was in the neighborhood. Ya need a lift home?"

"Yes, sir. Thank you."

Jacob tugged him to his feet. Wobbly but upright, he got his ship legs and exchanged hugs with the three men and then focused his aching eyes on Sam. The instant he held her glistening blue gaze and saw her quivering chin, he went to her. Aware of Jacob's scrutiny Jack's brief hug allowed him to nuzzle the sweet curve of Sam's neck and whisper, "I love you."

"Ditto," she replied softly, pressed tight and then stepped back crinkling her nose. "Sir, you reek," and then she left for the helm to finish her report to the SGC.

_Nuts!_ He watched her departure with a weary heart. "I stink?" He sniffed the rancid air. "Oy! Sorry, folks." Realizing that after the initial, 'Yah! They're alive,' hugs, Jacob and Daniel had retreated a good distance.

"A skunk smells better than you two." Daniel made a face and pinched his nostrils.

"Dad?" Jack glanced over and winced.

Nodding, Jacob cringed. "Yeah, you smell like outhouses."

"Indeed." Teal'c lifted his sleeve, inhaled and his brows shot into his non-existent hairline.

In self-defense, it had been sixteen hours plus. They so needed to be hosed down. It's amazing what happens when someone is scared shitless coz they're about to die. Even cocky Colonel Jack O'Neill can and will loss control of his bodily functions. Yep, Jack not only wet his BDU flight suit, he'd royally soiled it. So had Teal'c. Even Junior couldn't hold it that long. The distinct aroma the two men had shared all those hours was disgustingly memorable. Of course, when one is doing a test run in an experimental aircraft, it's important that the flight suits plumbing attachments are operating. Another bit in the butt from Apophis.

After apologizing, he and Teal'c showered and then zatted the BDU's. Being the third male teammate it was Daniel's responsibility to supply clean BDU's and skivvies for his buddies. Five minutes later, Jack stood drip-drying in Jacob's compartment. Bad enough the Tok´ras idea of a bath towel was a table napkin. Extra absorbent. Whatever!

"Jack?"

"About time, Daniel." He hit the security console, the door slid partially open and he stuck out his hands for his replacement BDU's.

Daniel dropped a bundle in his hands. The texture was wrong.

'What the—" Jack glanced at the familiar unwanted clothes.

"Sorry, Jack. I brought Teal'c's. Swore I had yours but in all the excitement, forgot to pack them." Daniel's voice held a tremor. No doubt he was waiting for Jack to detonate. "Jacob said to keep them."

"Um. Yeah. Sure." _Like we've been in this situation before, right? Okay, so it's been awhile. The point is, when the roles are reversed one of my team members always come through with clean duds. I can't believe Daniel forgot mine. From now on I'll assign clothes duty to Teal'c, even Carter. She'd never forget. Heck, she'd brought my P-90, zat, sunglasses, survival gear, even my yoyo. _

Muttering, he unfolded the outfit and held it up. As usual, the tunic was oversized and the sleeves could be unrolled. On the downside, Jacob was five foot ten. Jack was six foot two. _Do the math. Geez! Chill old man. This has been a bad day for everyone. _

"Tell Jacob thanks."

"Will do." Daniel started to walk away.

"T-shirts, socks, skivvies?" Jack grumbled.

"Oh, yeah, wait, got extras in my pack."

A moment later, Daniel handed over two pair of regulation socks and three pair of white cotton briefs. The geek so lacked imagination.

'T-shirts, Daniel."

Oh . . .um, forgot mine too. Sorry."

_Deep breathe, O'Neill._ Jack glanced at the skivvies and cringed. A former briefs man, and now boxer fan, Jack withheld comment. At least they were the right size.

"Thanks again, Daniel."

"You're welcome, Jack."

Twenty minutes later he exited his quarters, carefully. He'd done everything possible that included, letting out the leg hems that now reached his ankles. Thank heavens for flight boots! He felt like Captain James T. Kurt. The waist issue remained another matter. Despite his lean waistline they were tight. So now the breeches were extended but riding up his butt. Talk about a major wedgy!

He glanced around. Not like there was anywhere to go besides the helm or engine room. The ship was efficiently built. Behind the aft entrance to the engine-cargo bay area-hold were two sleeping compartments with double berths and one head-shower unit. The other conveniences were the six by eight area stocked with food and medical supplies and Jacob's built in freezer unit in the docking bay. When Jack had glanced in the upright freezer he'd found it empty, even of shelves. Jacob explained the freezer was intended for Trojan horse situations and could be locked or opened from within. Jack hoped they never had to use it. He'd had enough freezer burn, thank you.

He had just donned his shades when Sam barreled out of the engine room, her face lit up like a red traffic light. The passageway barely wide enough for two people to maneuver, Jack caught her shoulders, turning as one to get by her. He should have let go, but their contact was emotionally and sexually charged. Jack reacted instinctively. He held on. He wanted much more, but settled.

"Carter?" He lifted his shades and squinted, keeping one hand on her tensed left shoulder that he discreetly kneaded. The regulation, '_Never touch your subordinate,'_ failed to register for the moment.

"Sir." She avoided eye contact. He felt a tremor she failed to control.

"Um, we okay?" he asked softly, his implication clear.

"Yes." She relaxed beneath his massaging fingers, but her fisted hands did their 'flay the hips' routine. An outward sign Sam was upset, nervous or pissed off. _Take your pick, O'Neill._ He chose all three.

"Then what's wrong?" He dipped his head to gaze into her dark-fused eyes. Yep, she was pissed, hopefully, not with him. Sam looked past him. He didn't need a public service announcement to know Dad was part of the viewing audience.

Jack lowered his arm searching for that elusive pocket he knew he had.

"Going to call Hammond," he announced for the eavesdroppers and jerked a thumb toward the helm, hoping she'd come along. He needed to see, hear and if possible, touch her.

"You do that, Colonel, sir." Sam snagged her lower lip and without another word, entered her quarters.

Colonel? Sir? Sam's overkill of his CO rank, always a bad sign. Watching her door shut, he winced. _Yeah. Right. Well, that was hum-worthy, O'Neill. _Scratching his head, he turned and encountered the senior Carter striding purposely toward him.

"Jacob." He smiled as they blocked the tight corridor.

"Jack." The older man's face was slightly fairer than Sam's crimson shade. Choking on the fear factor he'd long ago acquired for Jacob, Jack gave the man latitude and followed him to the helm.

After a short but uplifting chat with Hammond, Jack made small talk with Daniel and Teal'c. Jacob added little to their banter. The direct chill from the former Air Force general aimed at Jack. When Teal'c and Daniel managed to escape the tension, Jack retreated to his quarters, correction Jacob's. The idea of bunking with Dad for days had lost its appeal. From here on, Jack would crash in the cargo bay with Daniel and Teal'c. For the moment, his aching back wasn't giving up the comfortable berth or solitude. He'd no sooner settled in, when he had company. Daniel and Teal'c.

Daniel eagerly filled Jack in play-by-play on his sappy marriage proposal to Sam, while Teal'c corrected any minute details. Jack took it like the man he was, embarrassed to death and wanting to get wasted. So that explained why Jacob was an iceberg and Sam avoided him like he still reeked. True, Sam was exhausted. She's been awake all this time trying to save their runaway butts. But that didn't explain ignoring him.

You'd swear he'd committed some deadly sin when he'd blurted out his heart under the influence of carbon monoxide poisoning. Of course, considering he was Sam's CO, it did qualify as a deadly sin. Quite similar to the Za´tarc test, just more, out there, in your face, hey marry me Babe, blather. Gosh, he hoped he'd not called Sam Babe in front of Jacob! No wonder the elder Carter was miffed. Jack shut his bloodshot eyes and surrendered to the blasted lyrics swelling in his aching head.

"Here we are Face to face We forget, time and place . . ."

_Yep, here we are, stuck on a Tok´ra scout vessel with mad Dad at the helm, glad Daniel curled up like a baby in the transport room, and cold Teal´c in Kelnorim in the Tok´ra's bar and grill that never closes_. Jack could only stomach so much Oatmeal, even if that's not what Jacob called it.

_Oh yeah, Sam and me._

_Me and Sam . . ._

_Nada._

Nothing.

_Zilch. _

_Whatever! _

Both remained at a stand off. To top things off, that lame song kept tripping through his aching skull, ironically, not their song, but one that gave new meaning to their wannabe lovers' relationship. Jack always had a thing for Gloria Estefan. The last song they heard yesterday while he drove Carter to the mountain when her car was in the shop was on instant replay in his head. Jack could still feel Sam's hand slipping into his and fastening tight as the lyrics hit home for them.

_  
"Hold me now Don't let go Though it hurts and we both know The time we spent together gonna fly And everything you do to me Is gonna feel so right  
Baby when you're loving me I feel like I could cry 'Cause there's nothing I can do To keep from loving you_

"Here we are All alone Trembling hearts, beating strong Reaching out, a breathless kiss I never thought could feel like this I want to stop the time from passing by Wanna close my eyes and feel your lips are touching mine  
Baby, when you're close to me I want you more each time And there's nothing I can do to keep from loving you"

Jack couldn't speak for Sam, but they'd come to a place of common acceptance this year and reluctant distancing. Concerned for Sam's career, they'd gone cold turkey, '_leaving it in the room._' as Carter had put it. Yeah, right! They'd tried, really they had. They stopped meeting in their SGC base _room_, Sundays at the park, not to mention that Jack's nightly visits during which they fell asleep in each other's arms, usually in Carter's bed, came to an abrupt end. Well, that was Sam's decision, not his. That last one was way too rough, even for his tough little Major. They'd become so reliant on sleeping with each other—mind out of the gutter—they suffered insomnia. When Hammond caught her nodding off during a briefing, Sam insisted her neighbor's dog kept her awake. Jack snorted. Her neighbor had a cat!

That arrangement lasted four wretched nights before they'd decided to wean off gradually. Another no-win situation. Then being stuck on that ice planet with mind stamps made them realize their feelings weren't going away, nor did they want them to.

Another year older.

Another year of stolen glances, hugs, caresses, and too few kisses.

Another year of, "Yes sir. No sir. Screw you, sir." _I wish!_

Another year of, "Carter! Hey, Major. Hail Dorothy, and of course, Geez, I'm sorry, Sam!"

Another year of no significant other off base, but each other.

Another year of cold showers in the middle of the day . . . Just coz.

Another year of pretending they were only coworkers and friends.

Another year of loving each other in secret, until today when he and Teal´c took that one-way, scenic route on a Goa'uld death glider, almost became frozen assets, and died. Yeah, got pretty hairy out there. Jack made peace with God, again. He then visited all the dumb, dumb, and dumber things he'd done the last few years to piss Sam off, and realized, that if she still loved him, that in and of itself was a full-blown miracle. Jack knew no matter what their future held, no matter what might try to keep them apart . . .

'_There's nothing I can do I'm helpless in your arms Oh baby what you do I'm in love, this is it There's no turning back this time No no no."  
_

There were other educational moments onboard Digger One. Teal´c admitted he'd known long before the Za´tarc test about Jack and Sam's affair of the heart. Oh, it got better, the Jaffa insisted discussing the matter. Like Jack had a means of escape other than hopping off on Jupiter, which by the way lasted exactly 30 seconds. He'd no idea the Jaffa could yap so much or that he was such a romantic.

Before they realized their oxygen was limited, Jack admitted he was in love with Sam. Well, not straight out, but Teal´c knew what he meant about caring more than he should for Carter. Teal´c suggested he and Sam secretly marry, even offered to officiate. Open to thinking about anything other than his inevitable death, Jack fancied the wacko idea had potential. Clearly, the lack of oxygen had gone to his head. While dozing, he thought it through to the minute detail until his headache got so bad he passed out. His last coherent though was once he had the chance, propose to Sam. Trouble was by the time he'd boarded Jacob's ship, he'd forgotten the entire stupid marriage pitch. Then again, there were a few other things to be thankful about. Jacob hadn't tossed him overboard and Sam hadn't strangled him, yet. "_So here we are . . . _

_  
"Once again But this time we're only friends Funny world Sometimes lies   
Become the game, when love's the prize And though no one knows what's going on inside And all the love I feel for you Is something I should hide."_

Sure, holed-up in a ship's quarter the last two hours, was one way to hide. Jack felt miserable, and of course, kept thinking. Yeah, no one at the SGC knew what was going on inside. No doubt, there was speculation. But he and Sam had their act down to such a science that more often than not, he felt they were no more than coworkers and friends. '_And yet . . ._

_  
"When I have you close to me The feeling's so sublime That there's nothing I can do to keep from loving you to keep from loving you, baby No, no, no,_

_To keep from loving you, baby." _

Nothing could keep Jack from loving Sam. Even now when his head pounded, his eyes burned and sensitive to light; a temporary effect from oxygen depravation. Fortunately Sam had brought him aspirin. Unfortunately, the aspirin hadn't knocked it out, nor had the Tok´ra medicine Jacob had given him.

**CHAPTER TWO:**

_Meet the in-laws – figuratively speaking. Oy! _

What happened to his Black Ops training? Jack used to fall asleep on a bed of sharp rocks, now he couldn't sleep without Sam. And that so wasn't about to happen with Dad on board. This was going to be one long, desolate flight home. He prayed he'd get so flipping fatigued he'd eventually pass out and hoped it happened soon.

He smelled coffee and groaned. Their coffee aficionado Daniel was at it again. Hundreds of light years from home and he had to have his caffeine fix. Jack admitted he enjoyed his daily coffee intake. Difference was he could live without it. Daniel had to be buzzing twenty-four seven, either on coffee or candy bars. The kid so needed to get clean and go cold turkey. Just Jack had yet to determine how or when to make that happen.

Switching on the nightlight, Jack donned his shades. Before he tried to sleep, he had to settle this standoff. However, the first person on his list was not Sam, but Jacob Carter. He swallowed his apprehension and shoved to his feet. He wanted to ask the man for his daughter's hand in marriage, but that was not going to happen for a long, long time. Besides, Sam would kill him. But he could smooth over the rough seas and—

"Jack." Retired General Jacob Carter stood in the open hatchway, clearly not a happy camper.

"Jacob." Jack gestured invitation into his shadowed quarters, as if that was necessary with it being Jacob's ship.

"Eyes still smarting?" Jacob frowned with concern at his shades.

"Improving. Now I only see three point two of you." He presented his best O'Neill smirk, and then removed the glasses out of respect. He squinted at the older man and motioned to stand.

"Don't get up." Jacob invaded the tight quarters. "I know you're tired, but we should talk."

"Look, I'm sorry that Daniel and Sam blew your cover back at the Naquada mines—"

"It's not about that." Jacob pressed the hatch button, sealing them in, sealing Jack's fate.

_Crap!_ "Oh. A heart-to-heart talk, Dad?" Jack winced.

"Yes."

"I'd offer a chair, if there was a chair, so have a—whatever that is." Jack flapped his hand at the kidney shaped seat across from the lower berth.

"It's a toilet."

"Wow! Who'da thunk? New and improved, so came with the cloaking device, eh? Doesn't look like a crapper—"

"Jack, it's a combination toilet and bidet."

"Sorry." He felt the stress line between his brows extend, as did the tension between him and Jacob.

"I'll stand."

_Nuts!_ Jack hated being low man on the totem pole when getting reamed out. They were not on equal footing. Jacob's intention. Jack rubbed his forehead. Oh yeah, the headache was worse, his eyes hurt, his knees ached, and—

"Jack, while in the death glider you suffered from anoxia, oxygen deprivation."

"Yep, nasty bugger. Makes you babble all kinds of wacko junk. Um, I didn't talk like Bart Simpson, did I?" He clasped his busy hands and looked as naive as possible.

"Yes it does and no you didn't."

"Well that's a load off the gray matter." He feared he might soil the Tok´ra duds.

"It also makes a person less guarded about their emotions." Jacob paced the tight quarters, which amounted to three steps across and three back before he lorded over Jack again.

"Oh," he said softly and looked up at the man's stern countenance and lethal glint. _Incoming enemy fire!_

"I'm no fool about what's going down between you and my Sammy."

"Um, yeah, about that. Let me explain—"

"No, you listen-up, Colonel Jonathon J. O'Neill!"

"Fine. I can do that." _Death by death glider sounds appealing._

"Don't even get me started on the court martial charges that you two fraternizing can bring about."

"No sir." Jack made a face and glanced at his watch wishing Sam hadn't dismantled Pac Man. He wondered where he'd put his yoyo.

"So, besides that fact you are Sam's CO and this thing you've got for my daughter is against United States Military protocol—"

"I believe we established that, sir." Jack waved his pointers.

"Cut the bull, Jack. I'm no longer your superior."

"Well, technically, on Earth you are, sir. While out here, I'm the boss, right?" Jack never had figured that one out. No matter where they were, he and Jacob were always competing for command and Sam. He dragged his tongue along the inside of his cheek then bit it. Ow! Yep, he was awake and being read the riot act by Sam's dad. Reality sucked!

A strange expression crossed the other man's features. Whoops! Jack knew that blank look. Jacob was channeling Selmak.

Jacob Carter's face and balding head turned crimson. "I can handle this, Selmak. So bug out!"

Jack inwardly sighed. Great! Now Selmak was in on the Jack whumping. He felt like a teenager being grilled by his first date's dad. Nah. That had been easier.

"Do you know you proposed to my daughter?"

"Yeah, heard 'bout that." His face scrunched. "I'm truly sorry. Won't happen again." Jack failed to meet the man's dark infused eyes.

"Damn straight it won't, because my daughter accepted."

"She did?" Jack gaped and then grinned with manly pride.

"Wipe that asinine smirk off your face, Jack. You two can't get married!"

"Of course not." He winced and waited for the other shoe to fall. The silence between them was deafening. Two freaking clichés in a row! He glanced at Jacob, waiting.

"Jack, I'm telling you exactly what I told Sam. You two need to make some serious choices and live with the consequences. Long as you're her CO, you are endangering her military career. Furthermore, if you really loved my daughter you'd put her first, including her career!"

That pissed Jack off. He stood up and glared down at the shorter man, who intimidated the crap out of him. "For crying out loud, Jacob! There's no one, and I emphasis _no one_, more important to me than your daughter. I'd die for her. I have! Secondly, I don't give a rat's butt hole about my career or reputation. As for Sam's I've done everything possible to ensure our personal feelings are not made publicly known, nor her career threatened."

"That might be, but I'd have thought you'd realized that when you first met at the ball."

"Ball?" Jack blanched. _He couldn't mean, didn't mean?_

"The nineteen-ninety-seven White House Halloween Ball. You were the Zorro she spent the evening with and before that, you two were in Black Ops. I figured out you were already involved when you got reassigned the Stargate program and Sam was appointed to your team."

Jack slumped back onto his berth. "Geez, Jacob." His hands directed his explanation. "So that's why you've been such a hemorrhoid since we first met!"

"What'd you expect?"

"I was retired then!"

"And people don't fall in love on the first date!"

"Oh, so now you're the expert on love! Hah! According to Sam, you—," _Oy!_ _I don't believe I almost said that. _

Jacob Carter balked.

"Sorry, Jacob. That's not the issue here."

"No, it's not! So let's hit this head on. Are you and Sam—?"

"No! We're not sleeping together." _Well, not the way you think_. "We are not having sex!"

"Then consider yourself lucky. Because if I even suspected you were screwing my daughter, you'd be on the outside of this ship looking in!" Jacob shook a clenched fist in Jack's face.

"Hey, hey, give me some credit here, will ya?"

"Credit? As her commanding officer you should have stopped caring for her that way, the day she came under your command!"

"And you don't think I . . .we've tried! I can't control my heart, Jacob," he shot back, "anymore than Sam can control hers. Like it or not, we're in love with each other and that's so not going to change!"

"And that became apparent when you both failed the Za´tarc test!" Jacob was in his face.

"How'd you—"

"Freya/Anise told me."

"Why that two-faced ass-pinching slut! The results of those tests are classified! And you wonder why I do not now and never will trust the slimy, snaky Tok´ra!"

Jacob's head lowered and lifted. After his eyes flashed, he smiled warmly at Jack.

"Ah, nuts! Hi, Selmak. Um, that last remark so doesn't apply to you—at all, really." He pointed at he, she, and it. Whatever!

"I know that, Jack. It is good to speak with you again."

"If you say so." Jack sniffed a breath, sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face. "I'm in boiling water with your host."

"Yes, you are. That is why I intervened. However, I don't know how long before Jacob comes back. Nor can I assure he will be any calmer, especially after I say what must be said."

"Not another lecture, Selmy. Coz, I'm plum out of explanations or heartfelt Irish apologies."

"Not at all. I've come to render assistance and be of some comfort, Jack O'Neill."

"Well, there you go. Render away." Jack made a sweeping gesture, then propped an elbow on one knee, and rested his chin in the palm of his hand. His face felt so tense he thought it would crack. Heck, he'd rather be going head to head with Kinsey than discussing his love life or lack there of, with anyone, let alone a flipping Tok´ra. Who by the way, was yakking.

". . . I am pleased your feelings for Samantha are now public with Jacob. He's been in denial since the ball that Samantha had fallen in love with you. I have never understood this part of your Tau'ri nature. We Tok´ra believe such shared emotions make us stronger as warriors. We encourage fraternization among our ranks."

"Yeah, I know, but that's not how it's done in my world. And now that Jacob knows, it probably never will, even if I retire. The man despises me. Doesn't believe I'm good enough for his daughter. Truth is, I'm not." Jack slouched back against the wall and closed his eyes.

"That is not true, Jack O'Neill."

Frowning, Jack looked up at Jacob, well, at Selmak, who was smiling rather affectionately. He was so tired of the charade. "Hey," he tugged his earlobes, "I'm all ears, Selmy."

" You, Jack O'Neill, are the best man to ever enter Samantha's life and Jacob knows that. He's just a typical over-protective parent reluctant to let go of his baby girl. Jacob loves, respects, and admires you. He just doesn't say it, because he prefers your fearful respect. It gives him an edge."

"You can say that again, the fearful respect and edge part." _Jacob loves me? Go figure._

"He prefers your—"

"Ah, Selmy, that was a figure of speech."

"I know, Jack, I was messing with you." The Tok'ra laughed.

"Um, I've had enough messing with today, thanks." Jack's headache was so not going away.

"I apologize. Now about believing that you are unworthy of Samantha."

"Said that to—"

"You, Colonel Jack O'Neill, are strong, witty, tenacious, irreverent—"

"Yep, that's me. An irreverent mouthy flyboy."

"Often yes," Selmak laughed then turned serious. "And smarter than you let on. Jacob also knows you will protect his daughter above all others. That you'd die for Samantha and not just as her CO but also as her best friend and lover. You and Jacob are competitive for Sam's affections but not in a way you should fear. Jacob relishes your gung ho attitude, appreciates how you treat Sam as your equal, and acknowledges she's smarter than you—"

"Yo, Selmy, Sam's smarter than everyone. So don't make more of it than there is."

The Tok´ra chuckled. "I won't. But for many male Tau'ri that would be an issue of contention between themselves and their godsend. Not with you and Sam."

"Excuse me?" Jack rubbed his neck. "You just said, godsend."

"Yes. I believe that you and Samantha are chosen hearts by the Keeper of the Stars."

"Way too weird!"

"Why?"

"Um, I, well, heard that before." Jack scratched his neck and looked curiously at the alien.

"No doubt you have and with good cause. Now where was I? Oh, when you are with his Sam, Jacob does not worry about her welfare. So you see, Jack, despite what Jacob might say or how he behaves— "

"Jacob?" Daniel called from the corridor.

Jacob/Selmak's head dropped and lifted. He glared at Jack. "Despite what Selmak just said, this conversation is far from finished."

"If you say so, Jacob." Jack accepted the inevitable.

"Daniel?" Jacob turned and opened the door.

A cup of his latest brew in hand, Daniel grimaced and glanced briefly at Jack. "Sorry to interrupt, you guys, but there's an incoming from the Tok´ra. Sounds important."

Jacob charged toward the helm. Jack and Daniel followed. Ten minutes later, Jacob prepared to be beamed aboard a Tok´ra scout vessel. Jacob had been given another undercover assignment and couldn't afford the luxury of returning SG-1 to the Alpha site. They were on their own.

Jack watched Sam and Jacob hug and kiss goodbye. They shared private words and Jack saw Sam's shoulders tighten as she nodded to whatever Jacob said. No doubt, _Stop humping your CO._ Feeling Jacob's censorious gaze Jack nodded goodbye. There was no usual man hug or handshake. Jack was unquestionably on Jacob's hit list.

Before the transport rings descended Jacob glared at Jack. "And, Colonel?"

"General?"

"I meant what I said."

"Yes, sir." Jack almost saluted.

"And under no circumstances, lose my ship!"

"Wouldn't think of it, sir," Jack faked a confident smile. If their previous explosive conversation were any sign, it'd be Jack's luck to lose Jacob's Tel΄tac.

After Jacob left Sam turned to Jack her eyes gleaming with disturbed curiosity. "Sir, you called Dad, General."

"Had to have been there," he shrugged. With Teal'c and Daniel observing them, Jack's impertinent nature grunted and made a face before he turned away.

A similar sound of contention emitted from Sam.

Determined to not let her get to him, Jack addressed his team, "You, kids, do whatever you were doing." He flagged his hands as if they were kindergarteners. "I'm going to catch some zzs. T, wake me in four hours and I'll relieve you. And Carter?"

"Sir?" She pivoted to face him.

"I suggest you get some rest." Came his big hint to join him.

"Not tired, sir." She was neither defiant nor cooperative.

"Fine. Whatever," his brisk tone was enough to cause Daniel to make a quick beeline toward the cargo bay while Teal'c returned to his post as pilot.

Again they stared at each other, neither giving quarter.

"Don't let me keep you up, sir," Sam's soft snicker hammered another nail in his coffin.

"Don't worry, Major, you won't." Well that was a flat out lie and they both knew it.

When she returned to the helm Jack resigned to a bumpy ride from hereon out. He was in no mood to grovel. Even at hyper drive they had four days before they reached the Alpha site. Later was better. He hoped. Returning to his quarters he exhaled a deep breath, removed his sunglasses, and then dropped back against the wall and considered praying. Talking to God made even the bleakest situation looked better.

"Hellooo?" Daniel revealed his presence in the open hatchway. Jack had long concluded God had a warped sense of humor.

"Whasup, Danny?"

"Brought coffee." He held out one of two cups.

Jack feigned a smile. Daniel had been on a blend his own brew kick. Some were winners. Some were stinkers. Teal'c, Sam, and Jack had concluded that if it didn't smell good. It wasn't.

"Um, sure thanks." Accepting the hot drink Jack lounged on the berth. He lifted the cup to his nostrils, which rebelled. It was a cross between Hazelnut and rotting cabbage. His empty stomach knotted. Something green floated on the surface. Jack flicked it out, then set the cup on the nightstand. "Needs ta cool down, but thanks."

"Found some Tok´ra grains. Ground them and mixed with my specialty blends."

"Yeah!" Jack winced. "Smells . . .unique."

"Earthy." Daniel shoved a hand into his green BDU pocket and leaned against the door's jam, sipping the crap.

"Oh, yeah, just like the duds." Jack winced when Jacob's trousers rode up his crotch again. He dropped his knees.

"Yeah. Sorry about the clothes, but hey you look good as Tok´ra."

"Oh, yeah, you wear a size 30 inseam when you're a 34 and we'll see how well you walk and talk, Daniel."

"Whoa, that explains why they . . ."

"What?" Jack dared him.

"Hug your rear," the linguist chuckled, "Which Sam loves."

"She said that?" Jack blushed.

"Course not." He chuckled. "But she loves your butt. Why do you think she walks behind you on most missions?"

"Same reason I walk behind her when I get the chance." He winked.

"You two are hopeless." Daniel sighed out with a smile. "So, seems ya survived the father-son lecture."

"There, but for the grace of God, go I." Jack rolled his eyes.

"Boy, this is serious. I mean you don't go around bragging up God."

"God's the only one to have kept me from being zapped by Dad."

"Hey, Jacob loves you. It's just smoke screen." Daniel glanced behind him before he stepped into the compartment.

"Maybe. But that doesn't change the fact Sam and me are straddling the perilous gray line of fraternization. And if you haven't noticed, things aren't exactly peachy between us."

"Well that's what I wanted to discuss. Jacob and Sam got into a yelling match when you and Teal'c were cleaning up."

"Figures. Who won?"

"Hard to say. They're both stubborn, ya know? From what I heard Sam held her own. Admitted she's in love with you and Jacob should get his head out of the gutter. Furthermore, as her CO you are above board and if he even hinted to tell Hammond, she'd never speak to him again. That got his attention."

"Wow! That's Sam." Jack brushed his nose and sniffed a breathe.

"Yeah, she didn't take any guff. But, Jack?"

"Daniel?"

"This last little romp of you getting lost in space really beat her up. We all know the reason she's not talking to you, or for that matter, Teal'c or me. She won't let you or anyone else see her break down on duty."

"I know." Yeah, he knew his proud little soldier was putting on an act. So was he. "Daniel, as much as I crave this action and being a part of SG-1, I'm about to toss in the towel. Life's too short and precious. I can't keep doing this to Carter and remain her CO. Something's got to give. Retirement's the only option."

"Or marriage."

"Ah, crap! Not you too?" Jack recalled Teal´c's jawing hours before.

"Teal´c and I have been thinking—"

"Ah, so I assume you have a plan." His digits talked before he forced them to his lap.

"Yeah, and not just any plan. It's utterly brilliant, if I do say so myself."

"Then don't." Jack groused wanting a beer.

"C'mon, at least listen?" the younger man whined.

"Daniel, other than a fool proof plan of brilliant stupidity, there's no way Sam and I can marry and still work together."

"Huh?"

"What?"

"I like that."

"What?"

"Brilliant stupidity." Daniel grinned wider.

"An O'Neill cliché."

"You hate clichés."

"Still do."

"Like your cliché."

"Since when?"

"Now."

"Compliments will get you nowhere, Space Monkey."

Daniel waved him off. "Teal´c and I have it all arranged. Actually you and Sam don't have to do anything."

"I don't want to hear this."

"But it's a really, really good idea." Daniel scrubbed his hands together as if plotting some major conspiracy.

"Whatever." Jack dropped his hands in defeat. Exhausted and deflated about never having a future with Sam, he pulled his knees to his chin and glared at the smirking linguist. "You so aren't going away are you?"

"Nope." Daniel shut the compartment door and dropped onto the bidet, running a hand along its engineered design that hugged his butt. "Cool chair."

Jack smirked.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Oh. Um . . .I brought this for inspiration." Daniel reached into his jacket pocket, removed a small object and tossed it to Jack.

Wide-eyed, Jack caught the blue fishing lure box.

"Close your mouth, Jack."

Jack snapped his jaw shut and shook the box at him. "Hey, just how long, you two buttheads, been planning this brilliant stupidity?"

"In the memorable words of one Jack O'Neill, so not going there."

"Afraid ya'd say that." Jack cringed, opened the palm size, plastic box and glanced at its content. He could imagine the two-carat, blue diamond ring on Samantha's slender wedding finger. Doubt bit him hard enough to snap the case shut and tuck it into his pocket. Daniel did not seem to notice Jack's somber, flat-lined expression.

"Now here's the plan?"

Jack plunged his ears with his fingers and began to sing, loudly, "La-la-la-la . . . I can't hear you!"

Daniel never stopped talking.

CHAPTER THREE 

_**Just shoot me!**_

Dang, it was a brilliant plan! Trouble was, Sam wouldn't buy into it. Leave it to Daniel and Teal´c to take matters into their own hands. Literally. An hour later while finally dozing, Jack was gagged, tied-up and tossed into Sam's dark quarters. Crap, his knees hurt. His lower back was in knots and he had to pee. Worse, Sam was going to be pissed!

"Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch . . ."

At the helm, Sam stifled another yawn and babysat the controls while the ship soared through hyperspace. She'd told Teal´c to get some rest, but the Jaffa insisted he only needed nutritional substance and would return so that she could sleep. Sleep? No way. Not without Jack. Man, when had she become so dependent on her CO that she couldn't doze unless he was nearby? If he were at least within eye view like most missions, she'd easily crash for a few hours. The same applied to Jack. Wow, if Hammond or Janet ever caught wind of their sleeping disorder, they'd be sent to Doctor MacKenzie's office faster than when Daniel had switched bodies with Marchello.

Meanwhile, the idea of four days in confined space with Jack seemed about as painful as having a ribbon device aimed at her skull. He'd steered clear of her for hours. No doubt, he regretted proposing to her, let alone while under the influence of oxygen depravation. How embarrassing. Worse she'd accepted, well if you count screaming, _"Yes!"_ at the top of your lungs with your disapproving father beside you. Not to mention, they'd had but seconds to save Jack and Teal´c's lives. Yeah it'd been memorable all right.

Daniel and Teal´c swore they hadn't told Jack that she'd accepted his proposal. Sure, and the Asgard eat Jell-O! Still, a smile played on her lips. Jack had been so out of it, he thought he was in the _Wizard of Oz_ movie. She was Dorothy and Jack was Scarecrow. He'd been so darn cute. Still was. Always would be. Sam sighed and shut her eyes with regret. A few more minutes and Jack could have died!

Not that she was running to Jack's arms, mind you. Dad had laid enough guilt on her to keep her in military mode for a long, long time. They'd argued. Sam stating what she felt for Jack was none of his business. Dad stating that long as she was an officer of the United States Air Force it damn well was his business! Ironically, through their entire screaming match, Dad never once said he disliked or disapproved of Jack being her lover. Well, then again, they only touched on the true definition of _'lover' _when Sam made it clear Jack had never overstepped the line of intimate fraternization with her. However, she failed to mention their regularly scheduled hug-marathons or how they slept together most every night on and off world. No, she wasn't about to give him any more ammunition than he already had.

Sam also assumed, from the angry voices echoing through the ship two hours back, that Dad had pulled a guilt number on Jack. Reason one for Jack calling Jacob, General and sir. Love sucked! Trouble was Dad, saying no, made her want Jack more. And now that Dad had conveniently left, it wouldn't take much for her to ignore the regs. Exhaustion aside, Sam was emotional and sexually frustrated. If found within close proximity of Jack O'Neill she'd rip off his clothes and have her way with him. She'd almost lost him again and the idea of loving this hard and this deep and never having made love with Jack made her look long and hard at her list of priorities.

Despite her liberated beliefs Sam was pretty traditional when it came to love and sex, and that they fell in that order. Raised with traditional values, she'd always believed fourth base meant wedding bells and rice. Yet with Jack she wondered if that would ever happen. She realized just how weak she had become and was seriously thinking of skipping bases and making that home run without the wedding ring. It had indeed crossed her mind more than once over the last four and half years, just now it was stronger than ever.

This thought took her briefly but painfully back to her engagement to Jonas Hanson. What a mistake. Even more it had left her confused and hurting to this very day. She recalled when she'd finally agreed to make love with him and her lack of enjoyment in the act. All the while imagining the faceless lover of her fitful dreams holding her, caressing her. How her lover spoke reassurances and had tenderly loved her. But when Jonas took her virtue it was none of the above. Worse, when he didn't meet the resistance of her hymen, they were stunned. A surprise that turned into accusations that she'd lied to him and wasn't a virgin.

Sam had been angered and shocked. To her conscious knowledge she'd never been with a man until Jonas and yet the evidence or lack there of, said differently. That painful awakening pretty much ended their engagement. Jonas would never let her forget her shame and she soon realized just how much of an egomaniac he was.

Shortly there after, Sam had her first encounter with Jack as Striker. From that moment on, there was no turning back. He immediately replaced the mysterious lover in her dreams. Stranger yet, his voice was an exact match for her dream lover. Sam had never questioned that phenomenon until of late.

Three years ago, she had started to visit Doctor MacKenzie, then stopped. Last month she returned when her haunting passionate dreams were replaced by stomach pain and the cries of a faceless baby. Sam had flashes of an evil witch with dark hair and gaudy eye makeup. She'd never forget the first time she laid eyes on the Goa'uld, Nirrti. Sam swore Nirrti to be the wicked witch in her nightmares. She never told MacKenzie. Yeah, it got pretty hairy and he decided to backtrack to her more pleasant dreams again. She was relieved until he asked whose face had replaced her undisclosed lover. Sam bailed out. No way would she tell the SGC shrink that her CO was her dream lover. Nope, not going to happen.

Sam's thoughts came full circle. Her brief encounter with Jack when she had exited the cargo bay almost unhinged her. She'd wanted to jump into his arms and never leave. She could still see his intimate 'Y_ou, okay?_' expression as he unconsciously massaged her shoulders. His chocolate eyes earnestly searching hers, his rugged features scrunched with confusion, as to what had upset her. She'd wanted to tell him but with Dad, Teal'c, and Daniel in hearing range, she couldn't.

Ever since the Za´tarc test, Daniel and Teal´c had been watching them carefully as had Janet. True, Daniel hadn't been present during the test, but their teammates were aware of the emotional and sexual tension charging between Sam and her CO since day one. Even funnier, Cassandra had seen it the first time they met her four years ago. She had even asked them to get married and adopt her before Janet had agreed to. Cassandra. Actually Sam thought of Cassandra every day, no matter where she was and associated Jack and herself if only in their hearts as the alien girl's parents.

Their bond with Cassandra remained precious and mysterious at best. Sam never forgot the moment she'd first set eyes on the frightened girl. It felt as if she'd found a missing part of herself. Then the moment Jack met Cassandra a similar link between him and this child materialized. If anything Sam envied the paternal attachment Jack and Cassandra had built over the years. Their similarities were amazing. They could easily pass for father and daughter, not to mention they had the same interests, including fishing, hockey and astronomy. Cassie had long ago started calling Jack, Dad, and Sam's longing to have him father her children felt stronger than ever.

However one had to first acknowledge there was a _them_ let alone a future. Daniel once called their frustrated love affair, a runaway train accident just waiting to happen. He was right. If she weren't feeling so obstinate right now, she'd be asleep in Jack's arms. He'd even made the offer. And she'd stupidly turned him down. Why? Because she feared they'd talk about his proposal and that he'd not meant it. Weird, although Jack had yet to officially propose, they'd comfortably assumed that was their future. They discussed the family and friends they'd invite, even what kind of music and wedding cake.

_Our inevitable marriage is a given, right? Wrong! No way can you get hitched while serving together, Sam! No way around the freaking regs and you both know it! And that's exactly what he will tell you when and if you allow yourself to be alone with him. So not going to happen, Samantha! Hell will freeze over before you have that heart-to-heart heartache conversation. _

"Hey, Sam, need to talk," Daniel whispered in her ear while Teal´c returned to pilot the ship.

"About what?" She glanced about the helm surprised not to see Jack. Daniel did one of his '_not around Teal´c'_ expressions. Sam rolled her eyes and left the seat, realizing her butt had gone numb and exercise was a must.

"It's not nice to keep things from Teal´c. In fact, it's rude." She groused following him toward the mess, feeling the need to kick something. Daniel's tight rear looked awful tempting. She wondered if he'd mind?

As if reading her evil thoughts, Daniel turned quickly around. "First, it's important you read this."

Curious, Sam accepted the folded paper and read out loud, "I, Colonel Jonathon J. O'Neill do hereby resign my tenure as an officer of the United States Air Force effective this day, the 10th of September 2000. Daniel! He can't!"

"Already did." Daniel pointed to Jack's chicken scratch at the bottom of the letter. "And since I'm a legal notary public I validated it. So it became legal and binding the instant he signed." The linguist tapped his finger against the notary public stamp that marked the spot.

"You—you brought your stamp?"

"Never leave home without it." He grinned behind his glasses.

"This is ludicrous!" Sam shook the paper as massive arms seized her from behind, pinning her arms to her waist. "Teal´c! Daniel! What are you—" She kicked out with her boots, but Daniel caught them and held on. Sam was shoved into her dark quarters, landing on top of a hard body. Behind her the door shut.

A muffled groan discharged from the familiar squirming masculine form. Sam rolled off, shot to her feet and hit the light switch.

"Sir!" She found Jack on his side, bound and gagged facing her. He yelled through the tape and tried to break free, most of what he said no doubt four letter words. Sam dropped to her knees and ripped the duct tape off his mouth, taking a few whiskers with it.

"Oow!" he grimaced. "Thanks, Carter. Now undo the rest of me, will ya?"

Sam rocked back on her boot heels and stared at him. Prior issues of concern took a backseat. _Hum, a bound and gagged Jack O'Neill has its advantages. _

"Carter," he drawled out dangerously.

"Yes?"

"Release me. That's an order!"

"According to this, you can't order me to do anything, anymore." She brandished the crumpled paper in his face.

"Oh, that." He made a face. "Okay. Pretty please, untie me?"

Sam put her face in his space. "Only if you promise to tear this up and get us out of here, so I can zat Teal'c and Daniel?"

"Fine, fine. I'll even help with their permanent agonizing demise," he whined stretching against his bindings.

"One thing first."

"What?" He suspiciously eyeballed her.

Sam winked wickedly.

Jack gulped.

"Car—"

Her hot moist lips silenced him.

"Eer . . .umm." Jack loved retirement.

Sam's tongue teased his pliant mouth and then dove inside. Jack strained closer considering his wrists and ankles were secured behind him with plastic military ties. Sam unfastened the Tok´ra tunic and slid her hand across his bare chest, extracting a groan. Tensing, Jack twisted his mouth from hers.

"Ah, Sam, whatcha doing?"

"Having my way with you, retired Jack O'Neill." She tugged the shirt down to his secured wrists, her fingers dancing across his rock hard abs and extracting a deeper groan from him. "Amazing!"

"Um, crunches," he squeaked out recalling their exchange after Hathor failed to make Jack her First Prime two years back. His mouth ajar, he licked his dry lips.

Sam proceeded to unhitch her belt.

"Oy!" he swallowed. "Isn't this putting the cart before the horse?"

"Thought you wanted to skip bases?" She smiled alluringly tugging her black t-shirt from her waist.

"Yeah, sure. But here?" he stared at her tanned belly as she dragged the shirt over her blonde head. He proceeded to blink and then gawk when her overflowing bra came into view. _Love those freckles._ His gazed trailed the metal chain of her dog tags. _Ah, yes, dog tag heaven!_ Her cleavage view was a heart-stopper. _Whoaee!_ _Houston you have a go!_ He wanted to touch but couldn't. "Hey, untie me!"

"Oh, but I like this." She kissed his right bicep, inching her way toward the sparse gray hairs on his chest.

"Carter!" he growled. "That's a order!"

"Make up your mind! Are you or are you not, retired?"

Hating to be out of control he gave his habitable sniff then shot back, "Being retired has nothing to do with not being able to get my hands on you, woman! Just another reason for you to free me."

"Ask nice and I will." She trailed her fingertips due south smiling at the response she encountered.

"Sam?" Jack's breath hitched as his testosterone jettisoned out of control.

"That's better." She pulled out her jackknife and slit the white ties. Jack sat upright and stretched his aching shoulders and legs. Tugging the shirt off his arms he rubbed his wrists and ankles, and then pulled Sam down onto him.

She laughed softly as he claimed her mouth in a fierce possessive kiss. Jack was close to melt down. But his conscience nagged. Reluctantly, he broke their embrace and reached for her t-shirt. "Before this goes further than it should . . . " He cleared his throat and shoved her clothes between them, far more chivalrous than he felt. No doubt three fries short of a Happy Meal.

"And just what do you mean by this?" There was a defined nip to her words.

"Don't want regrets, Sam." He slid out from under her and grabbed his tunic off the floor.

"Regrets?" She held her shirt to her heaving breasts. "Are you saying you'd regret making love to me?"

"Huh?"

"You deaf?" She slouched on the berth.

"That's so not what I meant. Course, I wanna make love to you."

"Well?" She indicated their situation. "I almost lost you again. Two die-hard romantics locked us up. And you just conveniently retired." She retrieved the letter and flagged it in his face. "That at least qualifies for third base. I suggest we go for broke. No holds barred!"

Jack pushed to his feet. "Well, there's that. But I'd rather it not be with T and Daniel backstage taking bets and—." He indicated the intercom and yelled out, "Eavesdropping!"

The intercom clicked off. "Thought so." He dragged his hands over his face then tossed his arms skyward.

"And I don't care who's listening," she said with defiance.

"Wow!" He'd never have expected that out of his conservative Sam. He filed that for future reference. "Well, I've got to pee."

"Then pee!" She waved at the toilet that he'd yet figured how to use.

"Without an audience." He gestured for her to turn around.

"You got to be kidding! Off world, we've seen each other urinate plenty of times. Suddenly you're modest."

"There were bushes between us, Carter. Besides, I'm not ready."

"To pee or make love?" Her mouth opened then snapped shut. Leaping to her feet. She got in his face.

"Make love." Jack wondered just where the fly was on the Tok´ra pants.

"You're not ready?" her pretty mouth dropped open.

"No."

Hands planted on her slim hips, Sam ranted, "Four miserable years of can't touch, can't have, and now that you can, you, Mister Horny Pants, aren't ready?"

Jack flinched. "It's not what you think. Its just there's a sequence of events I've got in my head of how this should go down. I mean when I was out there . . ." He indicated the porthole behind the berth.

"You proposed to me." She eased her t-shirt back over her partial clad body. Jack sighed regret as his twin peaks vanished from view. Weird, he no longer needed to relieve himself.

"Yeah." His hand slipped to the only pouch the Tok´ra trousers had, a large deep pocket with a flap where he felt the tiny plastic case and—the freaking crotch opening. "But I was delusional and your CO," he reminded her buttoning the tunic.

"Yes, you were and no doubt technically still are." She sounded wary.

"It's valid!" He snapped the letter with a finger.

"Oh." She did her cute Turtledove gulp.

"So." He feared they'd never make it off first base let alone through their edgy exchange without one of them walking.

"I will."

"Will what, Major?" He stepped closer, inhaling the sweetness of her.

"Marry you, Silly." She gazed intimately at him and winked. Jack's breath hitched as he looked down at her. She wore a pensive concerned expression. The engines hummed in the background—Jack talked with his hands. "Excuse me?"

"You heard." She traced a fingertip along his slackened jaw and then shut it.

"Um, I heard something all right, and swore I heard you yell the word _'yes'_ earlier, but I was in Oz, right?" He tipped his head heavenward.

"Sure were."

"So, maybe I still am."

"Not unless you didn't mean what you'd asked me." She mimicked his gestures.

"Oh, I meant it, Samantha."

"Good. Then marry me, Jack O'Neill, with two LL's, Colonel, sir."

"Covering all your bases?" He sniffed.

"Of course. I've learned from the best, base coverer in the universe."

Jack chuckled. "Um, that piece of paper aside, if I say yes, we're in deep dodo with Dad."

"A risk I'm willing to take, Jack, Colonel, sir."

"Well, there you are. The ayes have it."

Sam leaned in for a kiss but he pulled back.

"Wait!" He unhitched the Velcro like snap and dug deep into his pocket that went half down his thigh.

"Man, oh, man, this better be good!" She eased her hands under his tunic.

"Nah ah. Patience is a virtue." He dropped down on his left knee with a grunt and grimace.

"You okay?" Sam winced at his pained expression.

"Well, the knees are acting up and the lower back can't take all that sitting and—"

"Jack!" Sam moaned her frustration and settled on the toilet's seat before him. She looked ready to throttle him.

"Well, I'm just saying." He removed the bait case, thinking how it couldn't get any weirder than this. Proposing to your girl while she sat on the head, yep, another out of this world story to tell their grandkids.

"You're giving me your favorite fly . . .err lure?"

"Open it?" his voice strained.

"Alright." She wavered and then lifted the cover as if were full of worms. Her eyes rounded, began to tear. "Holy Hannah! Jack, it's beautiful! I can't . . ."

"Marry me?" he gaped.

"No! I mean, yes, I'll marry you!" She began crying a river.

Jack looked helplessly on. "For crying out loud, Carter. This is about a wedding, not a funeral." He swiped at her leaking nose with his tunic sleeve and then pointed at the stone. "The setting's your favorite, platinum. Know you're not into fancy rings so it's wide enough to be a wedding band too—The stone's a pure blue diamond from Abydos. Daniel helped me get it."

"He did?"

"Yeah, I had to blackmail him to not tell you. The rock-hugger brought it with him." Jack shoved to his feet bringing her with him. "Found out he brings it whenever we go off world." He scratched his lower back, wishing he had pockets.

"Just how long have you been planning this?" Her gaze narrowed, dangerously.

"Um, does it matter?" he failed to hold her cautious expression.

"Yes!" her voice held no compromise. "I recall this being on your desk for years."

"And you never opened it?"

"Not a chance. Figured there was something dead inside."

"I know." He acted all cocky, feeling his smile reach his eyes.

"How long?" She dropped the box into his hands like it was poison.

"Fine, fine!" He mumbled, "three years."

"Three years!" Sam gasped.

"Whatever!" He turned defensive. "Got it for you."

"Pretty sure of yourself, eh, flyboy?"

He delivered his, 'ah_ no'_ look that got quickly replaced by, "Hey, a guy can dream, right?"

"Glad you did." She stuck out her left hand and wiggled her ring finger with invitation.

Jack beamed and with shaking hands slipped the shimmering blue diamond onto Sam's delicate boned finger. A perfect fit.

"Whoa!" She giggled at the weight and clarity of the flawless stone. "It's breathtaking."

"Like you, Samantha. The moment we met, you took my breath away, still do."

Sam's eyes glistened with unconditional love. "You do the same to me, Jonathon O'Neill. Always have, always will, and—"

He kissed her.

Oh yeah! She took his breath away!

Between kisses they talked, well sort of. "When we found Digger One and you nor Teal'c responded I thought I'd lost you."

Sam's left hand had wiggled back beneath his tight tunic. Her hot fingers doing incredible things to him. Jack swallowed . . .well tried.

"Um, I'm sorry, Sam. I won't fall for one-way death glider scenarios again. Promise." He kissed her neck, determined to skip a few bases and slide into third.

"You really aren't retired, are you?" she asked against his hungry lips.

"Sure am."

"For how long?" She pulled back and looked directly into his smoldering eyes.

"Long as necessary." He winked and then returned to dropping soft kisses against her arched neck, his fingers sifting through her silky blonde hair.

Out of breath, Sam murmured, "You're evil, Jack O'Neill."

"Um, that's my line." Having gained access to her back beneath her shirt, he caressed her ribs and then moved to her belly and upward to the swell of her breasts. Sam's breath hitched against his intimate touch. He was going where no man had gone in a very, very long time. And he proudly knew it.

"Jack?"

"Huh?" He gently pressed her down to the berth and shifted his weight straddling her hips while his thighs pinned hers.

"Hum . . . are we going to make love?"

Her nervous request barely registered with Jack's passion clouded mind. "Thought that's what you wanted?"

"Oh, I do. Do you?"

"Ya think?" he struggled inwardly. That strong spiritual voice residing in his heart said no, but his pleasure charged nerve endings screamed, yes! "I've wanted you forever, Sam." He nibbled her right earlobe.

"Me too." She thrust her pelvis against him. "And I know you believe," she kissed him tenderly, "when a man and woman join as one, make love, they are married in God's eyes."

"Sure do." His fingers found the hook of her bra and—

"So, let's wait."

"Huh?"

"You once said, that it was important, because you didn't wait with Sara for the wedding night. Well, I didn't wait with Jonas either. So, I think we should start our own family traditions and values and, wait. It will be a good example to set for our children."

"Ok—ay." Jack couldn't believe his reply or his ears! Then again, he wasn't thinking with the same head that had, upon less, lust-sated occasions made that heartfelt statement. "But can we still do third base?" _Please say yes?_

"Yeah sure yabetcha."

First Base, Second base . . .Strike three you're out! 

"Crap! Now what?"

A dizzy sensation washed over them, non-making-out related.

"We've dropped out of hyper drive," Jack said against her parted lips.

"Yeah, way too soon." She frowned and rearranged her clothing.

The next moment they were at the door. Sam pressed the intercom and yelled, "Daniel and Teal´c let us out!"

"Major Carter, the hatch was never locked." Teal´c voice boomed back.

"Oh." She scowled at Jack, who was now thankful for the loose fitting tunic.

"Who'da thunk?" He grinned sheepishly and shoved his hands downward as if there were pockets to crawl into.

"Whatever." Sam scoffed before glancing at the diamond that graced her finger. "If I didn't know better, I've been hoodwinked."

"Nah, really?" he couldn't contain the grin creeping across his face.

She sighed as they left her quarters and rushed to the helm. "Three to one is not fair."

"Never said it was." He waggled his brows. "So ya change your mind?"

"Never!" She smiled back as they entered the command center.

"Wha'sup?" he asked before Sam could open her mouth.

"Jacob/Selmak gave permission to visit Bra'tac on Chulak before returning to Earth, with hope he has news of Drey'auc and Rya'c."

"Um, he didn't tell me." Sam's smile flattened.

"You were not present when I made the inquiry," Teal´c replied.

"Oh." She didn't seem to buy it.

"I heard though." Daniel jumped in avoiding Sam's scrutinized glint.

"Well, I'm just saying even if Jacob didn't allow it which I'm not saying he did, as CO, I allow it." Jack smiled at Sam who appeared off balance. "Need I explain that to you, Carter?" He scratched his lower back and stretched.

"Yes. Considering you are retired and no longer CO of SG-1, that leaves me in command," she countered.

"Oy!"

Teal´c and Daniel turned in their seats, frowned at Jack and then smiled way too nicely at Sam. _Butt kissers._

"She has a point, Jack." Daniel inserted for good measure.

"Indeed," Teal addressed Sam. "I only require one day, Major Carter." Teal´c did his best Jaffa pretty please tone, including a smile. _Ouch_!

"Okay, one day. Actually we could leave the ship on Chulak and if we can get by the Jaffa, we can return through the Stargate." Sam seemed pleased with this initiative.

"Oh," Daniel and Teal'c said in unison.

"Fine," muttered Jack realizing that like him, they'd forgotten about the freaking gate. He glowered at his best buddies as he envisioned getting hitched to Sam being flushed down the event horizon.

Jack's urge to pee returned.

CHAPTER FOUR 

'Be careful what you wish for. Yadda, yadda . . .'

Jack figured out how to operate the kidney shaped toilet/bidet. A combination toilet/ass washer that proved shocking but weirdly refreshing when the jet of warm water hit him you know where. He further determined there had to be another application for that forceful stream of vertical water. He just didn't know what yet. But it would come to him. It always did.

The Tel΄tac's cloaking device proved invaluable. Apophis was still Chulak's landlord and Jack was none too keen about dropping in. Still if it meant giving Teal'c some comfort about his family what the heck? Besides, Jack was retired and had no authority over Carter, which proved a major test of restraint on his military mindset. Furthermore, leaving Dad's ship on Chulak was not wise. He'd discussed pro versus con with Sam. She refused to discuss the matter. She was definitely on a power kick.

Meanwhile they agree to maintain their military persona of rank on Chulak. On the sly, Teal'c informed Jack that in accordance with the Jaffa marriage law, their human military protocol was of no significance. In other words the Jaffa didn't give a rat's ass if he and Sam got married.

It turned out Bra'tac was on a covert mission and Drey'auc and Rya'c remained in hiding, Bra'tac the only one knowledgeable of their location. Teal'c concealed his disappointment and the ragtag rebels and their families welcomed him and his guests. Dealing with the rival Goa'uld System Lords, Apophis had no time to disrupt the newest wave of Jaffa rebels on Chulak. Although constantly on the move, they'd been living in peace for almost four months. A first according to Teal'c. Still, Teal´c cautioned they needed to remain alert, because as always, Apophis would strike when least expected. For now, their hosts made preparations to celebrate Teal´c and SG-1's visit. In other words, a party was in the makings. Jack hoped there'd be cake.

Networking, Teal'c discovered that Heru'ur's former first prime Re'vil had recently joined the revolution. As Teal'c made introductions, Jack felt uneasy with the younger Horus guard. Perhaps it was the fact he kept looking at Carter like she was dessert and seemed tickled pink that Jack had honored them with his presence.

"I cannot tell you how pleased I am to meet the great Tau'ri warrior whose name makes the System Lords tremble with fear, Colonel O'Neill."

"Quite a mouthful." Jack winced, uncomfortable with the hoopla.

"Teal'c is correct. You are a humble man, O'Neill," Re'vil admitted and then looked Sam over again and licked his lips as if about to devour her.

"Yeah, well, the Goa'uld have the cap on narcissism," Jack instinctively gravitated closer to Carter.

Her eyes widened and she adjusted her P90.

"What?"

"Do you know what narcissism means, sir?"

"Sure. Means arrogance." Jack leaned on his P90. His action caused the Tok´ra breeches to ride up his butt. He adjusted himself and caught her gaze dip to his backside. Her cheeks brighten.

"Enjoying the view, Carter?"

"Yeah sure yabetcha, sir." She grinned.

"You're evil." He blushed.

"Yep." She winked but then stifled a yawn.

"Um, you need sleep, Major."

"I'm fine, sir."

"Ya look like crap." Jack shook his head in CO fashioned concern.

"Love you too, sir," she sassed.

"Ditto, now stop changing the subject." He felt Re'vil's observant gaze and turned to the man arching a brow.

"Then it is true. You and Major Carter are in—"

"Um, well this was real cozy, Rival, and I'd like to chat, pick your brain, and get the latest scoop on your previous employer, Herpes." He glanced nervously at Teal'c who took the cue.

"Indeed, O'Neill." Teal'c nodded at the former First Prime who looked confused. "Re'vil has agreed to discuss Heru'ur with us tomorrow morning before we depart."

"Shouldn't we do that now, sir?" Sam cleared her throat, stared at Jack and yawned.

"Sounds like a plan, Rival, Teal'c." Jack ignored her talking eyes and scratched his nose.

"Sir?"

Jack glared her down. "Not now." He grabbed her arm and dragged her away, then yelled back, "We'll do coffee, croissants . . ."

"Sir, this is crazy!" Sam argued. "He can give us information that—"

"Can help us defeat Apophis. Know that. He's also not going anywhere. Meantime you need to rest, we need rest." He yawned and shuddered.

"I'm in charge!"

"If you say so." He donned his deadpan expression.

To his amazement Sam yielded, but only if it was on his shoulder. Who was Jack to argue? This meant he'd finally sleep. When he asked where they could catch some zz's, two young women escorted them to an ancient oak tree with colorful streamers hanging from its branches. Well this was one honking target for Apophis to blow a hole through, Jack mused. He'd never understand the rebel Jaffa's warped mindset.

At the foot of the tree, women set out multihued blankets and cushions and instructed Jack and Sam to lie down. Removing his P90 and zat Jack instructed Sam to do the same. Too tired to argue, she conceded. He signaled her beside him. Reluctant to be publicly affectionate, Sam wavered when Jack eased his arm around her.

"Best pillow in town." He offered his left shoulder. "Going once, going twice. Sold to the blue-eyed blonde—"

"Sir?" She sighed out with frustration.

"Jack?" He arched a brow of annoyance.

"Sorry." She blushed. "Do you think it's okay for us—I mean here?" She waved a hand at their surroundings.

"Samantha, I'm retired. The Jaffa could give a hoot what we do under this tree. And as much as I'd love to take advantage of your sleep deficiency, I'm too dog-tired. So lets get comfortable and— "

The women began to unlace their boots.

"Hey, stop that!" Carter recoiled.

"Um, they just want us to relax, Sam."

"Sure this isn't a warped tribal custom that could find us in a communal stew pot?" she warily watched a woman tug off her left boot and then the sock.

"They're Jaffa, not cannibals."

"And your point?" she shook her head in distrust.

"Ah, yeah. Right." He flinched. "But I'm sure Daniel would stop them if it was something nasty or sexually perverted."

Several yards away, the linguist chatted with other Jaffa. Looking over he waved at Jack and Sam.

Obviously still miffed with her best buddy, Sam frowned. "You still trust him, after he and Teal´c tied you up and then locked us in my room?" Sam snorted.

"Well, no—but wow!" One of the women began to massage the soles of Jack's calloused feet. "That feels way too good to become beef stew." He sighed, leaning back against the cushions.

"They usually tenderize the meat first, sir."

That got his attention. When he glanced into her gray-blue pools, he found her grinning.

"Oh, yeah." She gave in as a younger woman began massaging her feet.

Within moments of their foot rub, the couple spooned and then fell asleep. Four hours later, when they awoke, fires and torches illuminated the night sky. Jack and Sam were surrounded by giggling children and several more women who, were Jack the betting man that he was, were taking notes. Something in their cheeky smiles cautioned him to stay on guard. After dressing their feet, Jack and Sam rose and stretched. Jack spotted Teal´c talking with an elder Jaffa. Jack excused himself and approached his friend, who now wore the traditional Jaffa garb.

"T?"

"O'Neill." The big guy smiled at Jack while the elder nodded and took his leave. "It is good to see you looking more refreshed."

"Cut the bull, Murray. What's going on?" he made a casual gesture to where the women hovered around Sam. As always, his former 2IC took it in stride and talked warmly to the other females.

"The presence of a Tau'ri female is new to the Jaffa women. They are merely inquisitive, O'Neill."

"Ah huh." He nodded. The O'Neill gut ache got stronger and it wasn't over food. "So making us sleep under that tree with all those pretty streamers and the footsy rub doesn't mean anything?"

A slight smile tipped Teal'c firm mouth and left brow upward. "I did not say that, O'Neill."

"Crap! Knew it! If we just got hitched under that tree Sam's going to kill me."

Teal'c's rarely heard laughter captured Sam's attention. When she glanced over, Jack forced a devil may care smile and waved.

She waved back. Thank heavens she bought it.

"T!" Jack turned and glared.

"You are not married . . .yet, O'Neill," he explained calmly, nodding at Sam.

"Well that's a relief, big guy." Jack expelled a painful held breath.

"But by agreeing to sleep beneath '_The Tree of One'_ together, you are sealed as betrothed lovers which precedes the mating ritual, or as you Tau'ri call it, the wedding ceremony."

"For crying out loud!" Jack faked another grin for Sam who was explaining her uniform patches to the nosey women. When one of them snatched Sam's left hand and stared at the diamond ring, Teal'c frowned.

"What?"

"Although customs have changed over the years, the more traditional beliefs call for an exchange of rings during the mating ritual, however the woman cannot see or wear her betrothal ring before the ceremony. You must get the diamond from Samantha Carter, O'Neill. Now!"

"You're nuts. She'll chew my head off."

"Rather that head than the more vital one." Teal'c indicated Jack's crotch. "Which will be sliced off once the women report to the elders that you have violated a primary courtship statute."

"You know I hate being surprised! And this qualifies as a," he hung quote marks in the air, "_Surprise!"_ He glanced down at his groin and shuddered.

"Indeed." Teal'c did not seem upset. Then again, the Jaffa's manhood wasn't in jeopardy. "No doubt, Daniel Jackson will find the process of Jaffa castration of immense interest."

Another shiver charged up Jack's spine. "It'd been nice if you'd covered those fine details before hand."

"I believed you wanted no prior knowledge of Doctor Jackson's and my plan of brilliant stupidity." The Jaffa tilted his head with a puzzled look.

"Apparently my judgment was premature." Wow! Did he just say the _P _word? Not something he wanted to think about. Not that it ever was a problem. He glanced at Sam. Nor would it be.

"The ring, O'Neill."

"Um, oh, yeah." He ran back to Sam. Without ceremony he lifted her left hand and examined the diamond. "Umm, the setting looks loose." He motioned for her to remove it.

"It is not loose, Jack. And I'm never taking it off." She held tight to her ring finger and glared him down.

"I'll give it back, promise." He snatched her hand and slipped the platinum setting over her slender knuckle.

"Promise?" Sam pouted.

"Cross my heart and hope to die." He noted the nod of consent from one of the women on the dying statement.

"You've already done the dying part." Sam snickered oblivious to the possible loss of her fiancé reproduction organs.

"Well, there's that." He popped the ring into his pocket and sighed relief. _Now what?_

"Come eat!" One of the men announced.

"I'm starved," Sam admitted.

"Me too. Sounds like a plan." He offered his arm and they headed for the buffet.

"Oh, look, sir. A baby goat."

Jack stepped aside as two teens boys chased the four-legged black kid. The goat ran straight for Sam and under her legs. Jack sighed. Figures, kids including Billy goats knew Sam had a soft heart. She drew the trembling animal to her and smiled at the approaching youths. The determined glints in their eyes caused her smile to fade.

"It's scared, Jack." She dropped to her knees and began to pet its trembling form.

"So?" he shrugged wanting to eat, not play with a stupid goat.

"Give it back!" One youth yelled out.

"Why?" Sam asked defensively coming to her feet.

"We need it."

"For what?" She lifted the young goat into her arms and then shoved it into Jack's.

"Hey. Eeu. . .yuck!" The young kid nuzzled his face, and then started chewing his tunic sleeve.

"Why the sacrifice of course." The boy answered.

"No way!" Sam protested and put herself in front of Jack and the goat.

"Ah, Sam?" he spoke calmly over the smelly creature's adorable face. "Have you forgotten the first rule of off world protocol?"

She glared over her shoulder.

"Yes. Well. Let me refresh your memory. Under no circumstances are we to meddle in their cultural customs or laws. And this is definitely meddling."

"Since when did that stop you, sir? Or have you forgotten a certain wedding cake you ate four years back?"

"Oy!" _That one hurt. _He'd really hoped by now Sam had laid that major blunder of his to rest."So not fair, Carter. I didn't meddle. I was drugged. And we're talking goat not cake here."

"Whatever!" She dismissed him and turned back to the Jaffa youths. "Now listen here, boys, there is not going to be any goat sacrifice. Got it!" She barked in her scariest military voice.

The boys paled and ran off only to encounter Teal'c, after which they hurried away.

Teal'c strolled up to Sam and Jack, eyeing up Jack's occupied arms. "There appears to be a misunderstanding, O'Neill."

"Got that right!" Sam steamed. "I can't believe how barbaric you people still are. Sacrificing an innocent creature like this." She reached over and pet Jack's squirming armful.

"Indeed." Teal'c sighed out. "Rest assured, the goat is safe and there will be no sacrifice tonight, Major Carter."

"Thanks, Teal'c." She smiled and giving the goat one last pat, walked toward the banquet table. "Coming, sir?"

"Um, yeah." Jack shoved the goat into Teal'c's arms. "So." He sniffed his smelly tunic and grimaced. "What's this about it?" He eyeballed the goat.

"It is a Jaffa wedding tradition to sacrifice a goat during the ceremony."

"Dumb idea, especially with my Save The Whales 2IC. Besides we aren't married and as much as I love your Chulak traditions, I think we should eliminate anything that might upset Carter. That includes the bowing and obeying the husband lingo I heard you folks do."

"You are correct and wise, O'Neill. I've already adjusted the vows to suit your Tau'ri marriage ritual."

"Thanks, T. And as much as I appreciate this, please don't count your chickens before they're hatched."

"Another Tau'ri cliché I do not comprehend, O'Neill."

"Yeah, well until Carter agrees to marry me it's still a pipe dream, good buddy."

Further confused the Jaffa's brows receded into his shaved head.

Jack sighed. "Look, just make sure this goat lives long and prosperous or we'll both be singing soprano come morning."

"That much I understand, O'Neill."

An hour later Jack, Sam, Daniel, and Teal´c sat around the fire consuming the local cuisine and their version of a fermented apple juice that had a powerful kick to it. Apparently this was the one alcohol beverage Teal´c's symbiote could tolerate. Jack couldn't wait to see T snookered. From the foolish antics of the other Jaffa's drinking the wine, it would be an amusing sight. Meanwhile, Jack worried what Daniel and Teal´c had up their sleeves. Other than when he and Sam had been asleep, they hadn't been out of his sight. A lot could have happened in four hours. No doubt had.

Jack insisted that if there were to be a wedding, it would not only be conceptual between him and Sam, but he wanted no prior knowledge of what Daniel or Teal´c were conspiring. The less Jack knew the better he felt about the situation and the less deceptive. Bad enough he hadn't told Sam he wanted to marry her on Chulak or that Daniel and Teal´c were up to no good. Well, the latter, she'd already figured out.

Three glasses of apple wine later Jack kept grinning at Carter, who kept grinning at him. Feeling more relaxed and amorous, he eased his arm around her and drew her close. She didn't resist. Sam hiccupped and then giggled.

"C'mere, blue eyes?"

"Ya gonna kiss me?" she slurred.

"Yeah sure yabetcha." He smirked thinking she was even cuter, snookered.

"About freaking time." She nuzzled his chin and tipped her face toward his. The moment their lips brushed, Jack felt the delicious heat shot to his groin. Oh, yeah, he wanted to do a lot more than taste her apple-laced lips. He wanted to—

"Hey!" Sam yelped as three women yanked her from his embrace.

"Wha'sup?" Jack growled, looking at Teal´c and Daniel who were grinning too much for his comfort.

"According to Jaffa tradition," Teal´c slurred, "When a single man and woman who have slept beneath the '_Tree of One'_ kiss in public, it is their final declaration of love for each other."

"So?" Sam fought to stay rooted beside Jack, who tried to keep her with him.

"So now you've got to get married." Daniel chuckled juggling two apples.

"Daniel!" Jack turned and glared. He wasn't as happy about this bombshell as he'd thought he'd be. He glanced at Sam's shocked expression and frowned.

"Hey, hey, don't ask, don't tell." Daniel snorted as he lifted the cup to his lips and downed another loaded apple wine cooler.

"Jack!" Sam was tugged out of his grasp and hauled off by the female Jaffas'.

"Hang in there, Sam! I'll figure some way out of this, really."

"No!" she called back smiling.

"What?" He was trying to chase her but six Jaffa, including Teal´c blocked his path.

"I want to marry you, here!"

"For sure?"

"Yes!"

"Sweet!" Jack shook off his friend's restraints and turned to the smirking conspirators. "Now what?"

"Follow me, O'Neill." T turned and swayed through the parting path of spectators.

"I'll try." Jack smirked and realized he couldn't mimic the Jaffa's drunken swagger as his own feet refused to obey. "Left, right, left, left…whoops!" Jack kissed grass!

CHAPTER FIVE 

'_The bells are ringing for me and my gal . . .Oy!'_

Jack hadn't seen Sam in over an hour, which gave him reason to drink, but he didn't. His head was still tripping from the few mugs of that wicked apple brew. He imagined that Sam, who rarely drank, wasn't feeling any pain either. Which made him worry. What if she'd gotten cold feet? What if this was just one big fantasy gone amuck? Hey, maybe Hathor got thawed and had them playing head games again? Or worse, it was real and Sam had hightailed it through the Stargate. And maybe he should do the same? Yeah, it wasn't too far away, five clicks at most. If he left now—

"Jack?"

"Daniel?"

"We're ready."

"Oh." Jack glanced up from where he sat beneath the '_Tree of One,' _wondering if now was a good time to pray.

"Teal'c assumes you and Sam want a Christian wedding?"

"Does it matter?" He shrugged, pushed to his feet and stretched his aching back.

'Wow! Mr. Irish Catholic is having second thoughts, eh?"

"No. I mean of course I want a Christian wedding, but Teal'c not Christian, nor are you?"

"Hey, I acknowledge there's a higher power, just not the way you do."

"That's my point." Jack admitted realizing how important his faith was. "I'd rather Sam and I exchange our own vows. We wrote them up last year. Trouble is I don't remember—"

Daniel grinned, reached into his pocket and extracted a printed sheet.

"Daniel?"

"Jack."

"Enough wilya!" He snatched the paper away and made a face. "How'd you?"

"For a computer geek, you really need to secure your document folder."

"You hacked my home pc!" His mouth hung ajar.

"Teal'c did!" Daniel put up his hands in defense.

"Crap!" Jack snapped the sheet of paper and glanced at the familiar words that brought a smile to his face.

"Okay, now I'm puzzled." Daniel removed his glasses and pinched his nostrils.

"Daniel, this entire plan is too planned. Sam's going to know I rigged it."

"Jack?"

"What?" He wadded up the paper and tossed it, stalking away, cursing.

"Sam knows everything."

"Eh?" he turned and stared.

"Like she's brilliant, remember?" Daniel performed that fingers wiggle thingy that Jack found annoying.

"Sam said she knows?" He walked, well more like swaggered back to Daniel. Yep, he had a definite buzz going on.

"Um, well not in so many words, but a few things slipped out since we got here."

"Such as?" He invaded Daniel's space and adjusted the geek's sliding glasses.

"Hugging me and Teal'c. Stating we're lousy matchmakers, even worse wedding planners, but she still loves us."

"Oh, well then, I guess . . ." He rubbed the back of his neck and winced.

Daniel retrieved the paper and smoothed it out. "Let's get this show on the road then, huh?"

Jack nodded, and then glanced around. "This place is lit up like the White House Christmas Tree."

"Worried about Apophis?"

"Aren't you?"

"Err . . .um . . . Well the locals feel pretty secure. Apparently Heru'ur, Yu and Nirrti are keeping Apophis busy."

"Cool. There should be cake."

"There is." Daniel smirked.

"Sweet." They headed up a hill toward what he assumed was their garden party. _Wish I felt as comfortable as Daniel._ A defined tingle spiraled the length of his spine. His gut ached. "Did it ever occur to anyone that any number of Goa'uld beside Apophis could take advantage of his absence and crash this party? Take Heru'ur for instance. And did I mention I don't trust Rival, who by the way I haven't seen in awhile."

"It's pronounced Re'vil, Jack, and he's around." His voice lilted an octave, a give away to Jack.

"Daniel?" Jack caught up and stared him down in the twin moonlight.

"Hey, we just misplaced the guy. Teal'c's on top of it."

"For crying out loud! How do you misplace a former First Prime?"

"First off, he's a vital part of the Jaffa movement. He's probably somewhere sleeping off that loaded apple cider. Man, if there's an Achilles' heel for the Jaffa that stuff is it." Daniel rubbed his temples. "I'm still seeing double."

"And I'm so not buying this and neither will Carter." Jack's hands talked. He had second thoughts about the wedding, about everything. Like finding Rival and making sure he really was sleeping off a hangover.

"Chill, Jack. Sure, anyone could crash your wedding, but the likelihood is slim to none. It's never going to happen." Daniel started hiking uphill.

"In the immortal words of James Bond, 'Never ever, say never, Daniel."' Jack shook his head and followed. His Irish gut nagged him. Something was wrong in Oz. Furthermore, he wished he and Sam weren't getting married, at least not with this clan of Jaffa rebels who didn't know them from Adam. Oh, what he wouldn't give to privately exchange vows before God in the sanctuary of a glen or meadow, beneath the stars of heaven. Even Jack's rooftop would be an improvement.

They hiked in silence. His knees screamed stop!

"Quit whining." Daniel glanced back.

"I can't wait to hear you in another fifteen years," Jack groused thankful this wasn't Abydos with heat and sand. Actually, the night air felt pleasantly cool and he'd yet to break into a sweat. Bad knees aside, his weekly boxing matches with Teal'c kept him in shape.

"We're here."

"Nice!" Jack halted and caught his breath, then glanced around. They stood at the top of an open meadow, surrounded by trees, beneath a canopy of Chulak's twin moons and the stars. It was incredible. "Hey, where's everyone?"

"You and Samantha Carter requested a private ceremony, O'Neill." Teal´c stepped clear of the shadows. Teal´c didn't appear drunk as he led Jack and Daniel toward the center of the field where two tall torches blazed softly, and between them an unlit brazier.

"Sure, but I didn't think you guys would make it happen."

"Hey that's what friends are for, old buddy." Daniel smiled.

Jack wanted to say something profound but failed. "I'm not much of a talker . . .ya know . . .well . . .you're both like—" He winced.

"Brothers, O'Neill." Teal'c finished with a smile and bowed his head.

"Yeah, brothers." He smiled warmly at the two men.

"We know." Daniel grinned and slapped Jack's tensed shoulders.

Teal'c nodded.

"Yeah, so glad we got that straight." Jack patted Teal'c's face, only to be drawn into a bear hug and getting his upper back slammed hard. No doubt about it, that apple wine mellowed the big guy.

Red faced, Jack turned to Daniel prepared for the same uncomfortable man hug.

"Spare me." Daniel chided and took a cautious step back.

"No problem." He grunted relief, but their joint expressions belayed their affections.

Somewhere in the background a flute type instrument played softly. The setting was beautiful. When they halted before the raised brazier, Teal'c instructed Jack, "In order for your marriage to be lawful on Chulak, you and Samantha Carter must exchange the matrimony pledge of Chulak and there must be witnesses, O'Neill."

"Well, I'm glad you, guys, are here. So where's my beautiful blushing, bride?"

Daniel elbowed him and pointed to a band of trees on their right. The music reached a crescendo as two women escorted another woman dressed in a pale blue, Chulak wedding gown. Jack squinted into the moonlight. He knew that tall lissome figure. Samantha. As she approached, the women left her side and walked slowly back into the woods.

Teal'c and Daniel came along Sam and escorted her arm-in-arm the rest of the way. Despite the cool air Jack shook and perspired. This was for real. He and Sam were getting hitched! His anxious gaze fixated on Sam's smiling blue eyes.

Halting before Jack, Daniel stepped aside. Teal'c took Sam's hands and pressed them firmly but gently into Jack's. As Jack's hands closed around hers, Sam looked up at him. Flowers were intertwined through her short blonde hair. Her soft mouth trembled and her eyes glistened.

"You sure about this, Dorothy?" He had to know.

"Oh, yeah, Scarecrow. And you?" She tipped her head slightly, her eyes searching his earnestly.

"It's the only way home for me." He drew her close.

"Me too." Sam squeezed his hands. A moment passed before they looked at Teal´c and Daniel who were grinning like two mischievous kids.

Teal´c finally addressed them with a serious tone, "Please separate hands and stand on either side of the brazier."

However reluctant he and Sam obeyed the Jaffa. Reaching up, Teal'c took one of the torches and ignited the brazier.

"Here me. Let this fire bear witness to this ceremony. May its flames keep warm the souls of those who came before us. We ask those spirits now to bless this union and to protect it through each day of its existence." His voice lifted, "And then the horn will sound."

Someone blew two notes on a ram's horn.

Teal'c addressed Jack. "You, Jack O'Neill, will place the circle of fidelity upon Samantha's Carter's head."

Daniel handed Jack a circlet woven from leaves.

Smiling, Jack stepped forward and gently set the circlet on her blonde head.

Turning to Sam, Teal'c said, "And you, Samantha Carter, place the totem of bravery around Jack's neck." He raised a medallion on a silver chain to his mouth and kissed it before handing it to her.

She smiled lovingly at Jack and slipped the medallion over his neck. Jack grinned.

"Now the bride will kneel before her husband in honor and respect."

Sam flinched and frowned.

"Oy!" Jack made eye contact with Teal'c.

Daniel groaned.

"Forgive me." Teal'c apologized.

"No." Sam sighed out. "I can do this because I do honor and respect my husband." Sam lowered to her knees before Jack.

"And I honor and respect my wife." Jack dropped to knees that creaked in protest.

"Whatcha know." Daniel crowed.

Teal'c smiled at the kneeling couple holding hands. "Do you, Jonathan J. O'Neill, intend to bond as one heart, one mind, and one body for life with Samantha Jean Carter forsaking all others?"

"I do."

Teal'c then addressed Sam, "And do you, Samantha Jean Carter, intend to bond as one heart, one mind, and one body for life with Jonathan J. O'Neill forsaking all others?"

"I do." Sam smiled at Jack.

"Then I ask that together you pledge your troth before _The Keeper of the Stars_ and then seal that troth by the joining of your chosen hearts and bodies as one this same night."

"Yeah sure yabetcha." Jack's ragged voice cracked as he gazed into Sam's loving eyes.

Daniel and Teal´c walked into the woods and out of sight. The lute music softened dancing on the wind and trees, surrounding and embracing them.

"Thought we needed witnesses?" He glanced around as he escorted Sam to her feet and into his arms.

"We do, but the trees have eyes." Sam replied softly her voice quivering.

"Well, then, one down one more to go." He faced her.

"Yeah. The one that counts," she sighed out.

"You mean that?"

"Oh yeah." Sam took his other hand and laid it over hers. "My faith is not as strong as yours, Jack O'Neill, but I know there's more to this universe than atoms and molecules. These past four years a supreme being far greater than the Ancients has allowed us the privilege to see and experience the majesty and mystery of His creation. If someone who's never seen any of this can believe in an almighty and loving God than I'd be a fool not to."

"And I believe the Keeper of the Stars chose to join our hearts long before time, Samantha Jean Carter." He gazed into her liquid eyes.

"Correction. Mrs. Jonathon J. O'Neill." Sam's fingers brushed his unruly salt and pepper hair.

"Wow!"

"So about those vows?"

"Oh, sure." Jack cleared his throat and dug in his pocket, finding the ring, but not the paper. "Dang, I mean, I lost it."

"Then let's go to plan B."

"There's a plan B?" He gulped. Was that squeaking voice his?

"Yes." Sam laughed softly. "We'll wing it like normal, sir." When she looked into his eyes, Jack felt his world spin out of control and loved it.

"Yeah, that's something we do well together, right, Carter?"

"Yeah sure yabetcha?"

"I'll start." He clasped her hands firmer.

"Yes." Sam chided with a loving grin.

"Love is patient; love is kind and envies no one. Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; never selfish, not quick to take offense . . . "

"There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, its hope, and endurance . . ."

"In a word, there are three things that last forever: faith, hope, and love; but the greatest of them all is love," they finished in unison.

Jack took out her ring.

"Wait." Sam held up a silver-like alloy wedding band.

His eyes rounded. "Where'd you—?"

"Teal'c made it for you."

"Who'da thunk?" Jack grinned then cleared his throat. Grasping her trembling left hand, he eased the ring onto her finger.

"Samantha, I give you this ring, wear it with love and joy. I choose you to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward for better or for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish as long as we both shall live. And hereto, I pledge you my faithfulness to show to you the same kind of love as Christ showed the Church when He died for her, and to love you as a part of myself because in His sight we shall be one."

Sam's blue eyes glistened with tears as she eased the wedding band onto his finger. "Jack, I give you this ring, wear it with love and joy. I choose you to be my husband: to have and to hold, from this day forward. For better, for worse, for richer for poorer; in sickness and in health, to have and to cherish, as long as we both shall live. And hereto, I pledge you my faithfulness to show to you the same kind of love as Christ showed the Church when He died for her, and to love you as a part of myself because in His sight we shall be one."

Smiling down at her, Jack cradled her face in his soldier rough hands and kissed his wife, softly and sweetly, as if she were a national treasure. Sam's heart fluttered at his tender kiss and strong, selfish hold. These hands and arms meant everything to her, these arms that held her when she was afraid or weary, these hands that caressed her in passion, shook her in anger, were no longer those of her CO, but of her husband's. Sam felt more than lucky, she felt blessed beyond measure.

For now, there were no concerns of military regulations or of the inevitable consequences of their actions. For now, they were two lovers joined as husband and wife. Sam melted into Jack's embrace, her fingers gripping the tight cords of his neck with an urgent need to join with him while their bodies began a dance as old as time.

Music not Jaffa origin, flitted on the night zephyr and tickled their senses. Jack stepped back and peered toward the trees.

"I don't believe those maniacs!" He dragged a hand through his hair and groaned.

"Jack?" Sam looked questioningly at him, wondering how in the world she was hearing country western music on Chulak.

Daniel walked clear of the wooded shadows making wild gestures at Jack like, _'do it!' _

Shaking his head, Jack coughed into his hand, looked at the heavens and nodded. "Guess it's time we give thanks, Sam."

He engaged her amused, confused expression. Jack intended to sing to her? Tears stung the lids of her eyes. She'd sworn she wouldn't cry. Knew Jack hated when she cried. But yep, she was crying.

Confidently, he lead her to dance with him on the meadow floor, and then for her ears alone sang, _"It was no accident me finding you . . .Someone had a hand in it Long before we ever knew Now I just can't believe you're in my life Heaven's smilin' down on me As I look at you tonight._

"_I tip my hat to the Keeper of the Stars He sure knew what He was doin'  
When He joined these two hearts I hold everything When I hold you in my arms I've got all I'll ever need Thanks to the Keeper of the Stars.  
_  
"_Soft moonlight on your face oh how you shine It takes my breath away  
Just to look into your eyes I know I don't deserve a treasure like you  
There really are no words To show my gratitude.  
_

"_So I tip my hat to the Keeper of the Stars He sure knew what He was doin'  
When He joined these two hearts I hold everything When I hold you in my arms I've got all I'll ever need Thanks to the Keeper of the Stars._

"It was no accident _me finding you. Someone had a hand in it Long before we ever knew . . . _I love you Samantha O'Neill."

"Oh, Jack!" Sam launched herself at him and with all the passion she'd been withholding for years, she kissed her husband stupid!

CHAPTER SIX 

'_Another freaking B Movie: I married a Snakehead!' _

**A Chulak Wedding Reception:**

"When we get married back on Earth—"

"You want to do this again?" Sam gave him a pensive look.

"So you don't want the bridal shower, bridesmaid, bridal bouquet, mini-bride—"

She cut him off with a mouth-watering kiss followed by, "Um, want it all, including you being retired for real, Colonel Jack O'Neill."

"Oh!" He gulped, although he'd suspected she'd long concluded his present civilian status was temporary.

"Meanwhile, I'll settle for what we have here and now, which is more beautiful than I ever dreamed." Her fingers were so not behaving; then again, neither did his.

Daniel lied. There was no cake.

"Should be cake." Jack insisted between breathless kisses and bold caresses, "A really, really, big double chocolate cake with—" He stretched out one arm as the other was occupied.

"White butter cream frosting." Sam leaned in closer to his underhanded caresses and then gasped.

"Yeah sure yabetcha, Mrs. O'Neill." Beneath the banquet table that conveniently concealed their amorous foreplay Jack scorched a hot pathway along her silky thighs. He glanced about to find not a soul looking at them. Obviously they were all drunk or polite.

"Err. . . um." Her warm, succulent breath caressed Jack's neck as his hand approached its goal. "Let's go!" she said against his lips while her fingers did an erotic dance across his six pack.

"Sweet!" Jack bounced to his feet and then helped Sam to hers. She weaved in his arms. He smirked and snorted. They'd consumed more than their share of the loaded apple cider, but he had refrained the last hour. Maybe it was his skeptical nature, but things were going too well. Someone in the SG-1 wedding party had to be sober, even if retired. He glanced over to find Teal'c juggling apples and plums while balancing an eating utensil on his nose. Meanwhile Daniel chimed a knife against partial filled glasses to the tune of Jingle Bells.

Jack was used to Daniel's drunken antics but a first-time inebriated Teal'c was priceless. Jack wished he could get Daniel's digital camera but the linguist refused to give it up, swearing he filled the media card when he'd take the last pictures of their nuptials. Jack so didn't believe him. The packrat always carried extra cards for off world digs.

"Be polite." Sam swiveled in his arms and waved at the wedding gathering.

"Must I?" he flapped a limp hand. Before she could protest, he swooped his bride into his arms and steered unsteadily toward the tent that was courteously set a distance from the rest. Applause broke out behind them.

"Why, this is a first, Colonel, you usually just toss me over your back."

"Don't think I wasn't tempted, hussy." He growled in her ear as his knees objected. Feeling Sam's breasts pressed against him Jack concentrated on one thing, making love to his wife.

Finally.

At last.

Three feet from their tent, a familiar sound caught them off guard. Two seconds later they were inside a transport ring being beamed up!

"What the—!" Jack blinked.

Sam clung tight.

When the rings collapsed. They found themselves aboard a Goa'uld mother ship.

"Welcome newlyweds!"

Jack eased Sam to her feet alongside him. They went into military mode. Both weaponless, she cursed her stupidity and Jack's. Love truly was blind! Looking up they met their abductor. Heru'ur!

"Well, there goes the neighborhood," Jack groused.

"Kree!" Their host instructed his Horus guards who shoved them closer to the throne.

"Hey, hey." Jack raised a finger of reprove. "It's not nice to interrupt the honeymoon, Herpes. The bride here gets bitchy with a capitol B. And this groom gets nothing, which really ticks him off . . . a lot!"

Heru'ur laughed crudely.

"Colonel?" Sam warned.

"Bow before your god!" The System Lord's guards slammed them behind the knees with their staff weapons.

Sam dropped.

Jack buckled slightly but stayed on his feet. "God? What god? You see God, Carter?" He scrunched his face, looked around and shrugged. "I just see another bad Elvis impersonator—." He pointed at the Goa'uld's gold jumpsuit and cape.

"Kree! Silence, you dog!"

A firmer painful impact sent Jack sprawling.

Used to Jack's irreverent antics Sam grimaced as pain shot through her husband's handsome features. Would he ever learn to shut up? She hoped not. His Irish tongue kept her hopeful they'd get out of this mess. However, seeing Jack's tight rear Sam got sidetracked from their perilous situation. She wanted to jump his bones! Holy Hannah! How sick!

A guard yanked Jack upright beside her. She held his dark brown gaze. "You okay?"

"Oh, yeah, forever okay." His left dimple slashed deep as he gave his O'Neill charm school smile.

Sam nodded. Yeah no matter what, they'd be forever okay. Always.

"Look at these fools!" Heru'ur stood and gloated. "The greatest weakness you Tau'ri possess is your undisciplined emotion of love. Once again it has handed you over to me."

"Um, it's not over until its over, Herpes, so don't count on early retirement bennies."

"You amuse me, Colonel." Heru'ur sneered.

"Anytime, chrome dome. Say, you use hair depilatory lotion or's that dull, glossy, look natural? Coz, I got this chrome wax that'll make your head shine like—"

"Kree!" commanded the System Lord.

Sam met Jack's sarcastic grin. Each stiffened for the next blow he'd take.

The guard raised his pain stick, but Heru'ur set his attention on Sam. She stared him defiantly head on, recalling their last encounter when Jack had flung a knife into his hand device penetrating Heru'ur's force shield. The handsome System Lord had not been a happy camper.

"I myself am in need of a new host for my mate." Heru'ur smiled at her with intent.

"Then might I suggest one of those fat grazing hogs on Chulak? The four legged kind." Had she said that?

Her husband smirked. Yep, she had. Married less than three hours and she sounded like him. Go figure. She waited for the painful blow that didn't come.

"I appreciate your fire, Major Carter. I have desired you since we first met." Heru'ur leaned over and caressed Sam's cheek with the back of his jeweled hand. She shuddered and pulled away.

"Nah ah! Do not touch my merchandise. I'm Carter's sole lust buster. She's all ready spoken for!" Jack injected hotly.

"Merchandise! Lust buster!" Sam fumed sending Jack her '_you're so dead'_ look.

"Well, I'm just saying." He made a face.

"I care not whether you have mated with her. In fact, you can have her this night. Tomorrow she'll be mine forever and you will become my First Prime. Together we will defeat Apophis!"

"Excuse me?" Jack lifted a digit. "Me? First Prime? Nope, don't think so. I'm all for whumping Apophis just not with your smarmy ass calling the shots—!" A Horus guard jammed the Pain Stick between his shoulders. Jack cried out and slumped over.

Cursing Heru'ur, Sam pulled Jack to his knees and held him up. "Please, sir?" she pleaded for him to acknowledge her, to be alright.

The Goa'uld stepped over and snared Sam's chin, forcing her face up to his, his breath fanning her. "Your undying devotion is admirable. I have longed to take my revenge against this warrior who killed my father Ra and most recently my beloved mother Hathor. Taking that which he covets most will be my retribution."

Sam sniffed the air and made a face. "Apparently you inherited your mother's putrid breath too."

"Ya tell'm, Carter," Jack rasped as he slowly lifted his head.

"Silence!" Heru'ur dragged Sam from Jack's side.

Jack launched himself at the System Lord, but Heru'ur raised his hand device and Jack was shot against the hull's interior wall. His head slamming into the solid surface, he slid down the wall unconscious.

"Sir!" Sam broke free but two guards seized her and dragged her back to Heru'ur.

The Goa'uld's blazing green eyes devoured the sheer gown that clung to her body as he reached out and pawed her breasts, then down over her stomach. Sam shuddered at his disgusting touch, willing Jack to wake up. Instead, she glanced back to see his limp body being dragged off by the guards.

"You have blended before!" Heru'ur eyes glowed brighter as he sensed the Naquadah in Sam's blood.

Sam turned her head and thought fast. He'd have no idea if the symbiote had been Tok´ra or Goa'uld. Recalling what Martouf/Lantash had told her, she knew that could be her advantage.

"Why are you no longer blended?"

"Didn't like the Colonel's expired salsa, so it moved out."

Although confused by her remark, he half smiled. "This attribute will make the unification faster and you will no doubt live longer than the others. You have two choices, my Beloved. You can resist. But if you do, I will hand your mate over to Apophis as a bargaining tool, who will then proceed to torture, kill him and revive him, as many times as necessary to obtain the information he desires. Or, you agree to become my mate and I will make him First Prime. In other words you can both live."

"He's not Jaffa and will never submit to being First Prime just because you put a symbiote inside him."

"Oh, but he will. Nirrti developed a new mind control potion that once consumed will make any Tau'ri my puppet. I will use it on you if necessary."

Sam cringed. "How can I be a host to a mature Goa'uld and be under your control?"

"The potion can control a mature Goa'uld and its host. My mate Bel´ju tends to be strong willed and I have benefited by giving her daily dosages. Unfortunately, it's addictive to the host, which is why I have to find her a new host."

"Well, we'd rather die than become house-sitters to you slimy snakes!" Sam spat back.

"So be it." He ordered the two guards, "Deliver him to Apophis!"

"No! Wait!" Sam caved in, hoping it would at least give them a chance. "I will agree, but only if . . ."

Someone was shaking him. Jack slapped at the intrusive hand and rolled over.

"Jack?"

"Huh?" He opened his bloodshot eyes and focused on the anxious blue gaze staring down at him.

"Sam?" He scooted up to find himself in bed with his wife. He swore they'd been captured and—

"You had me worried." She touched his cheek the heat of her hand flashing erotic images in his mind's eye.

"How long?"

"Almost an hour."

"Um, lipped-off again, huh?"

"Yup." She brushed a finger along his bruised jaw.

Dragging his tongue across his bruised gums Jack tasted blood. When his fingers grazed the sore knot on the back of his head he winced. His throat hurt and the area around his brainstem felt tender and sore. In fact his entire neck felt like it'd been in a vice lock. He'd got walloped. Warped images and voices flashed through his head as if someone else's.

"One of these days your O'Neill charm is going to be the death of you."

'Um, well," Jack mustered a smile. "I'm here. You're here." He drew her into his arms and nuzzled her neck, his fingers combing her silky hair.

"Sure are." She clung to him, trembling.

The sight and smell of Sam intoxicated him. Here they were facing death with another snarky Goa'uld and he was at full attention. There had to have been more in that apple wine than fermented apples.

"Sam, about that merchandise and lust buster remark. I didn't mean it." He caressed her slender waist through the airy fabric and then looked into her cynical gaze.

"Oh, yes you did." She tweaked his stubble cheek.

"I did?" He met her laughing smile.

"Which means you're my merchandise too, ya know."

"Ah." He grinned sheepishly. "So what's good for the goose is good for the gander?"

"Sure is, husband." She worried a button of his tunic until it popped open and her fingers began an erotic dance across his taut chest.

"Husband? Umm, that has a nice ring to it."

"So does wife." She smirked and her hand slipped beneath the waistband of his pants.

"Oy! Um, shouldn't we be trying to get out of Dodge?" Jack made a swift assessment of their jail quarters. It was a-typical for a Goa'uld mother ship but better accommodations than the last time.

"Already checked it out. We're not going anywhere unless Teal'c and Daniel have a plan B." Sam kissed him and nibbled his lower lip.

"Well then, Mrs. O'Neill." He waggled his brows. "Time's a wasting."

"Yes, sir." She leaned into him, the twin peaks of her breasts burning through his tunic as he urged her against his firm response. Suddenly he felt her stiffen and trembled. _Sam's nervous? No. She's scared!_

Jack cradled her face in his hands and looked down at her, but she glanced at a spot over his shoulder. "Samantha, look at me." He gently redirected her gaze to his and saw her trepidation. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"I've . . . .um." She traced a fingertip across his right bicep. "I know I'm acting all worldly, but I've only been with one man, Jack."

"Jonas?" he asked softly.

"Yes." Chagrin tinted her fair cheeks.

"Ah."

"It wasn't what I'd dreamt about or expected. I didn't please him," her voice quavered. "So why should I think I can satisfy you?" She closed her eyes.

Jack felt as if he'd been kicked in the chest and the pain transferred to his heart and eyes. Only this woman had ever brought him to tears and she was about to do it again. "Because, Samantha O'Neill, I've never loved or desired any woman as much as you. Just looking at you leaves me breathless."

"It does?"

He nodded. "And I'm just as worried about pleasing you."

"You are?" Her crystalline gaze widened with surprise.

"Of course. Despite how well we know each other, there's a lot we don't know. Sam, we're about to embark on the greatest adventure of our lives and hopefully it will last a good fifty years or more." He cupped his hand over her left breast, extracting a pleasured moan from her lips. "We've got the rest of our lives, Babe. So let's do it together. Besides, you know what I always say?"

"I do?" When she bit her lower lip his breath hitched tight in his throat. "What's that?"

"If at first you don't succeed," he nibbled a wet path down the satiny skin of her neck. "Try, try, try—"

"Again?" She smiled against him.

"Yeah sure yabetcha."

"Well, then, Mr. O'Neill, be prepared for the longest, wildest adventure of your life." Sam aggressively shoved him onto his back, and then wickedly winked. Jack smirked. Yep, his Sam was back! In one liquid motion she straddled his hips and thrust downward.

"Easy, Carter." His voice bottomed out.

"Always, sir." She winked and pulled her gown over her pretty blonde head.

Heart in his throat, Jack's mouth slackened. Wow! The view from down under was breathless!

DRINKING AND DRVING DON'T MIX! 

At the helm of the Tel΄tac, a concerned Daniel watched Teal'c will himself into sobriety. Not an easy task considering the apple wine was the one alcoholic beverage his symbiote favored.

Fortunately, Daniel wasn't as drunk as he'd appeared at the wedding reception. He'd figured someone should be sober in case something went wrong. He'd noticed Jack had also cut back, but that wasn't his main concern. First off, Jack had been right, someone crashed his wedding. Secondly, Re'vil's disappearance was no doubt connected with Jack and Sam's abduction. Yep, no birthday present from Jack . . . again.

Thirdly, Daniel had added the Jaffa aphrodisiac to Jack and Sam's apple wine pitcher only to later learn the couple's pitcher was already laced. It meant no matter what kind of danger Jack and Sam were in, they were too horny to care.

"Please tell me there's a silver lining at the end of this big black cloud?" he groused and settled in the copilot chair beside Teal'c.

"I cannot." Teal'c moaned, holding his pouch and steering with one hand.

"Yes, well . . .err, um, like how much of that love potion can a person tolerate and how long does the affect last?"

"It affects each person differently, Daniel Jackson. Considering they never consumed the Passion Root before and indigested an extensive amount," Teal'c leveled a disapproving eye at Daniel who flinched with guilt. "It could last another six hours or could render them in a state of deep sleep in which they dream they are making love, but are not—"

"Which means?" Daniel urged Teal'c with his hands.

"When they awaken they will remember very little of their marriage union, that is, if it indeed occurred."

"Huh?"

"Over indulgence of the Passion Root can also have the opposite affect on the male rendering him impotent and the female unreceptive."

"For how long?" Daniel gulped, envisioning an irate Jack O'Neill pinning a strangle hold around his neck. Snap! _Ow! _He was so dead!

"A few hours." Teal'c burped and moaned. "But knowing O'Neill and Major Carter that last physical incapacity is highly unlikely to happen."

"Do you realize how screwed we are?" Daniel ranted while Teal'c made a sloppy maneuver as the ship left Chulak's orbit and slammed Daniel back in his seat.

"Daniel Jackson, I believe it is Colonel O'Neill and Samantha who are no doubt experiencing that Tau'ri term, _screwed_." He belched.

Daniel rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that sucks! Coz if they've got sex on the brain, they aren't thinking about getting out of Dodge anytime soon."

Teal'c arched a brow. "This Dodge you speak of, is that the name of Heru'ur new ship?"

"Probably in Jack slang—Eh!" Daniel lurched forward as Teal'c rolled the ship ninety-degrees. "Hey, watch where you're driving!"

"I suggest you steer, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c looked green around the gills.

"Err, last time I drove almost got us killed."

"Then you will acquire knowledge." Teal'c was on his unsteady feet and then bouncing off the ship's hull.

Daniel grappled with the red and blue globe that steered the Tel΄tac. Behind him, the Jaffa lost his supper. Twice! As the horrible stench permeated the air and invaded Daniel's nostrils, he gagged and held his breath.

Crap!

He hated when that happened.

Sam stirred, nestling her cheek against the warm bare chest of her lover and husband. Toying with his graying chest hairs, she inhaled the lingering fragrance of their lovemaking that branded the tangled bedding. The familiar earthy scent of Jack O'Neill caused her to ache with want of him, again. Jack's lean muscled body was still swathed possessively around her, including his long muscular legs. She smiled where his leg hairs tickled her smooth skin. Indefinable sensations of pleasure bombarded her. Nothing could have prepared her for their joining! It had been beautiful, spiritual, passionate, lust driven and—she raked her aching head, forgettable. Huh?

Sam opened her eyes. She couldn't remember anything past clothes being ripped off, heavy petting, Jack pressing her into the layers of bedding, his wet hungry mouth on hers and then—Nothing!

Okay, Samantha O'Neill, don't get your knickers in a wad. There's an explanation for the memory loss of the most significant event of your personal life. She turned her head. Man, it hurt! Gingerly she lowered her pulsing skull to find her husband snoring. Loudly. Not to mention the trickle of drool that had pooled in the left corner of his kissable mouth. The gorgeous sound and sight of him shoved the other concern aside. Sam attempted to ease away, but Jack's arm was snaked about her and she wasn't going anywhere without wakening him. Settling in, she looked up at his content expression and disheveled salt and peppered hair that her fingers slicked back into place. So soft to the touch, like silk.

She smiled with a satisfaction only felt when Jack held her or looked at her not as his subordinate but as his lover and now his wife. When he didn't awaken, she trailed a fingernail across his relaxed features. Her touch tingled from the roughness of his blue shadowed jaw. Even when freshly shaven the beard remained prominent beneath his tan, which only heightened Sam's attraction to his masculinity. She loved his sculptured lips and relived just where those lips had traversed and lingered last night. Wow! Yeah, that she remembered. Habitably, her fingers glided over the slight cleft of his jaw, to his dimples and the scar on his left eyebrow.

Her feathery touch caused Jack to tighten his embrace. Sam sighed defeat. Getting out of the clutches of this former Black Ops specialist was near upon impossible. She didn't mind. Right now there was no tension furrow between his dark brows. No crowfeet at the borders of his coffee colored eyes. Like all the times they'd fallen asleep together, Sam relished seeing Jack this way. Defined dimples on either side of his kissable mouth, he looked childlike. The mischievous boy just beneath the surface of his gruff, sarcastic CO persona beckoned her. This boy was hers hook, line and sinker. They were so going fishing! Sam nibbled her lower lip. Yeah, right! _Why the sudden negative thought?_ Her foggy mind reached, stretched, tried to recall—

Then it bit her in the assets! They were prisoners of Heru'ur! In a bedchamber equipped with all the niceties of a Goa'uld mother ship. Sam looked frantically about and spotted what she assumed to be a camera positioned above the circular bed. How could they have missed that? Love and lust no doubt! Shame sluiced over her as she realized Heru'ur probably got off watching them. She couldn't believe they'd fallen asleep let alone made love as his prisoners. Man oh man, were they screwed!

"Jack!" Sam shook him hard.

"Umm." He cuddled closer, nibbling her shoulder blade. "Hey, give this old soldier a break. Four times is 'bout all I can—"

"Four!" Sam slugged him.

Jack lifted his throbbing head, pried open his drug-laced eyes and stared at Sam, his wife. "Hey, Babe," he rasped. _Musta been some night._ He squinted into her startled blue eyes. "Wh-at? You so weren't complaining a few hours ago."

Sam eased free, held the sheet to her amble cleavage and stared. She looked confused, angry and unhinged. So not his Sam, let alone major.

_Now what'd ya do, Jack?_

"Colonel, sir?" she stated loudly, indicating their surroundings.

"Ah, c'mon, Samantha, let it go, wilya? I resigned. We're married. Hitched. Husband and wife. Homer and Marge." He shoved up on an elbow, yawned, and glanced around before it registered. "And this is no Jaffa wedding tent!"

"No." She did her animated chin tuck and frown.

"Crap!"

"You can say that again." She wrapped the sheet securely around her and crawled off the bed, taking the covers with her.

Jack opened his mouth, shut it, and looked down. Oy! He was butt-naked. Sam was butt-naked. They weren't on Chulak let alone in Kansas. They were on a Tok´ra mother ship. Heru'ur's prisoners! His head pounding like a jackhammer, he rubbed his neck feeling the sore lump by his brainstem. He needed to pee. Wanted to hurl. Couldn't believe he'd been making love instead of trying to escape! Was he nuts? Was Sam?

"You look ill, sir." She gestured, trying to stand straight, but failing as she caught hold of the bed, weaved and shut her eyes as if in pain.

"You're not too peachy looking yourself and stop with the sir thingy!" He sat up and swung his long legs off the bed, then grabbed his swimming head. Oh, yeah, a big, nasty hangover.

Glancing at his unabashed nakedness Sam stared back at the floor. Jack sighed. This sucked! Honeymoon or not, their personal relationship just got shoved back into the fricking '_room._' Major Samantha Carter was back. Apparently so was Colonel Jack O'Neill.

With no boxers in sight, Jack snatched up his Tok´ra breeches, tugged them on and searched for his tunic, which he found missing two buttons and the Velcro barely attached. The musky scent of lovemaking perfumed the air and amidst it vanilla and strawberries. Sam. They'd obviously had a wild ride or rides. Jack dragged a hand over his face into his hair and sniffed. Geez, wish he could remember more than that they'd made loved four times and even that memory could be his ego talking. Meanwhile, Sam found her wedding gown and setting her back to him slipped it over her slender form. Jack starred at his wife and swallowed. Did she know how hot she was and how just her smile made him want her? He closed his eyes and tried not to think about the pleasant heat stirring due south. Had he no shame? Nope.

Noting his physical arousal, Sam blushed. "I have to . . .umm." She gestured to what appeared to be a fully equipped, but door-less bathroom.

"Fine. Don't flush, I gotta pee." He'd never gotten over the water shortage restrictions of the seventies.

"Sure, but I'm taking a shower—alone."

Jack wanted to join her, but didn't cater to being caught butt-naked and drenched by the Goa'uld. Besides she did say alone. Dang! Thirty minutes later they were showered, hungry and still not talking.

Both were angry, not at each other, but that they'd screwed each other stupid instead of trying to escape. Married or not, to put their desires above self-preservation wasn't their nature, never had been. That apple juice had been loaded with a sexual stimulant all right. For some reason, Daniel came to mind. He so wasn't getting a birthday present this year! Again.

If Jack had figured out the sex drug scenario, so had his genius Sam who busied herself examining the walls, floor, ceiling, and sealed door for a means of escape. Some Goa'uld ships had an invisible force field separating the prisoners' hold from the rest of the ship, instead of a solid door. This quarter had everything controlled from the outside, even the lighting. Temporarily resigned to their imprisonment, Jack settled crossed legged on the unmade round bed watching Sam do her thing in that hot blue number. Meanwhile, her self-imposed silence drove him wacko. Even when giving each other space and the silent treatment, they were so in-tune Jack was not surprised when he heard.

"It was an aphrodisiac, ya know."

"Do tell!" His hangover had impaired his vocabulary and made him rude to the woman he loved.

Sam's shoulders flinched but she didn't look at him, and continued running her hands across the door panel searching for some secret lock to unlock, he assumed.

"Sorry," he said kinder, lifting his wedding band to see if his finger had turned green. It hadn't. Cool beans. "Sam?"

"Sir?"

"Jack." He folded his arms and stared stubbornly at her adorable backside.

All business, Carter turned and addressed him, "I think under present circumstances we should maintain our military persona, Colonel, sir."

"Of course you would." He snorted.

Despite her logic, which he hated, Jack felt like arguing, which always made him horny. He pointed to the camera over the bed. "Err, um military persona aside, Carter, we made an triple X rated movie last night." He could still taste and smell her, as if she'd been branded to his skin.

Her mouth set in her rigid military expression, she didn't look at him.

"Secondly, I'm retired, Major, Ma'am." _Two can play this game._ "Hey, wonder if I can get my hands on that video." He wagged his brows.

"Don't be an ass!" Her jaw tightened firmer.

"Excuse me? According to one blue-eyed blonde, that's my best asset." He yawned. His stomach growled. He refused to let Sam deflate him.

"As of last night, second."

"Whatcha know." His ego boosted, Jack grinned deep and winked suggestively. Heck if they were stuck here, they should take advantage of the situation.

"Sir, are you just going to lay there, like a lump on a log? Aren't you going to get us out of here?" She launched herself at him, halting outside his reach. Jack's gaze dipped to her breasts, his breasts. All his. The pleasant ache heightened within his groin Wow! It had never gone away. He wondered if it was him or the drug? _Down John, John!_

"Sure, Major, soon as a horse comes through that door and feeds us. You know I don't whump well on an empty stomach. Considering it's the bridal suite, I expected a fruit basket or those expensive little chocolates on the pillow." He tucked his left dimple deeper and smirked, hoping for a smile.

Nada. Jack took in her tensed fair features. Yep Carter-O'Neill was P.O.'d. And something else he couldn't nail down. But would.

"This is all wrong, sir! I don't feel like myself!"

"You felt fine last night." He waggled his brows. "Really fine. I always knew you'd be sexually uninhibited, but you succeeded my wildest fantasies, Sam. I so look forward to our next fifty years—"

"Not funny!"

"Hey, can't blame me for trying, Babe."

"And don't call me Babe! I hate it!"

That got Jack's goat. Since when had she hated him calling her babe? He swung his legs off the bed and met her halfway, his antsy hands directing traffic. "So you wanna play hardball, Carter? Wanna pretend we aren't married, didn't make love instead of trying to get off this fricking Goa'uld cruise ship like good little soldiers!"

"Yes, I'd rather none of this happened, Colonel O'Neill, sir!" She motioned between them. "It was a big honking mistake!"

A direct slam! Speechless, Jack's mouth hung ajar and he stared at her. Tears glistened in her gray-blue eyes. She appeared to struggle internally. She regretted marrying him. Double crap!

"Holy Hannah, sir, you act as if we're on our honeymoon!" She hopelessly tossed her arms in the air.

Even when mad, this was so not his cool hand Carter. He reached out, snatched her slim waist drawing her to him and gazed assertively into her troubled features. His voice switched to the forceful tone that normally got her attention. "Samantha, like it or not, this is our honeymoon. Now I admit the accommodations aren't up to my standard, but with a little paint, wallpaper, and a fireplace in that corner." He tipped his head toward a bare wall.

"Heru'ur intends to turn us into mindless hosts!" She tugged free as if his touch was painful. "In fact last night, he—"

"Sam, he's not making hosts out of either of us!"

Her blue eyes flashed white. "That is where you are wrong, Colonel O'Neill." a Goa'uld spoke through her lips.

"Ah, shit!"

The Hangover From Netu! 

"We are cloaked, right?" Daniel addressed the sober but cranky Jaffa at his side.

Teal'c merely lifted a brow and grunted. Two hours of Kelnorim and he remained a sour puss.

"Hey, just coz you got snookered doesn't mean you have to act like a hung-over Jack O'Neill." Daniel adjusted his glasses and peered out the helm's transom as they approached the enormous mother ship.

"I regret my undignified behavior, Doctor Jackson."

"Long forgiven." Daniel weighed the seriousness of their situation. Yep, it was serious. "I don't understand why Heru'ur just took Jack and Sam."

"You feel slighted by his choice?"

"I . . .err . . .well we both have bones to chew with that snake in the grass, but yeah, I guess so."

"Despite our personal wishes for revenge, Heru'ur knows that O'Neill has earned a respectful and feared repute among the Goa'uld System Lords. There is a bounty on his head. If one were to present him to Apophis that Goa'uld would gain the favor of Apophis."

"True but," Daniel's wheels turned. "Heru'ur is bent on destroying Apophis, not bunking with him. What if Heru'ur intends to use Jack and Sam against him?"

"In what manner, Daniel Jackson?"

"No idea? Guess one of us will have to board his ship and find out, huh?"

"Indeed. Jacob/Selmak will not be pleased about losing his Tel΄tac to a Goa'uld."

Daniel nodded and stared at the imposing vessel. "Yes, well, he'd be even more surprised if we didn't."

"I concur."

Daniel picked up the radio and cleared his throat. Six hours late reporting in, General Hammond had no idea the mess they'd gotten themselves into . . .again.

"Do you think it wise to inform the SGC of our predicament, Daniel Jackson?"

"Nope, not wise. But if I don't make contact, Hammond will assume the worst and might contact the Tok´ra, which will involve Jacob and—"

"You position is well taken. What will you inform him?"

"The truth minus a few details."

"In other words, an O'Neill bull-and-cock story?"

"It's cock-and-bull, Teal'c."

"Indeed."

CHAPTER SEVEN 

'_A snake in the grass is worth one up the a—!'_

Standing before Heru'ur and his mate Bel´ju, Jack still reeled from the fact he'd made love to a fricking snakehead! Gross! He wanted to hurl! Again!

"You do not look well," Heru'ur mocked while he embraced Bel´ju.

"Yeah, well the idea of _humping_ a snake isn't on my _top ten, ta do _list." He shuddered and recalled way more of their lovemaking—no, forced copulation—with a Goa'uld. Crap! Think of something else, he told himself.

"Oh, but it was indeed your Samantha with whom you spent the night. You are an excellent lover, Jack. However, your present vulgar tongue injures the heart of your Tau'ri mate."

"Whatever!" He doubted anything a Goa'uld said, even if from Sam's mouth. His memory of her calling out to him when Jolinar possessed her remained vivid. '_Oh God, he's telling you the truth! Please, Jack, no Jack, please, don't leave me, please, give me a chance! Don't leave me like this! Please!'_

Jack hardened his heart and expression. "Look, the wedding night from Netu aside, can we cut to the chase?"

"No." Heru'ur drew his mate into his arms and kissed her. Bel´ju returned his kiss open mouthed.

Closing his eyes, Jack tried to restrain his jealous rage_. It's not Sam! It's not Sam!_ He peeled one eye open. _Oy! It's Sam all right!_

"Our guest doesn't appear amused, my Beloved." Bel´ju sighed out from Sam's kiss-swollen lips and shimmering blue eyes.

"No, he does not, my Queen." A smirk tugged Heru'ur's wet mouth. The beast made certain to run a jeweled finger along Sam's exposed cleavage. Jack flinched. At least she wasn't wearing the peak-a-blue-wedding gown, which would have been defiled by one touch of this snake's hand. No, she'd donned one of Bel'ju's artsy gaudy gowns that matched Herpes' jumpsuit. Still showing a lot more cleavage than Sam would be comfortable revealing.

His emotions not in check, Jack engaged his Black Ops mindset. His mouth ironed out and the fire in his eyes dimmed to apathy. Behind his steeled countenance, he prayed for heavenly intervention. Prayed that Sam would be saved from the horrible fate Daniel's wife, Sha're had suffered and eventually died; being possessed by a Goa'uld. If necessary, Jack would take her life, it was the least he could do for the woman he loved.

"Sire!" Heru'ur's Second Prime entered and approached.

"Speak," demanded the System Lord caressing his mate. Jack's wife!

"We have locked onto an unmanned Tel'tac!"

"What do you mean unmanned?" Bel'ju spoke up.

"Exactly that, my lord and queen. We detect no life forms."

"Make certain it's not an ambush and then seize it," Heru'ur ordered.

"Yes, my lord."

_Teal'c! Daniel!_ Jack hoped they had incorporated the frozen Trojan plan. This fueled his determination to get Sam back.

"Carter!" He stepped forward, not meeting resistance. "Listen up! I know you're in there somewhere." He shook his pointers at her. "This is an order! Get a freaking grip, so we can kick ass and check out of this dump!"

"Really, Colonel O'Neill." Bel´ju snickered softly. "Nothing of the host remains, which means she cannot hear you. Even if she could, she is a weak, mindless Tau'ri bitch, whose only purpose is to provide the physical stimulation your human bodies give their gods."

"Oh, she heard me all right and calling her a weak, brainless B . . .Well, that's just dumb, Belchy. You just royally pissed off Major Samantha Carter!" Jack maintained visual contact with Sam, willing her to snap out of it. _Hey, it'd once worked with Skaara._

Bel´ju's eyes flashed and she teetered.

"Yes!" Jack urged. "Fight the worm, Carter."

Heru'ur caught his mate and held fast. "What is wrong, Beloved?" He shook her slender shoulders.

"The—Tau'ri's blend with Jolinar of Malkshur —is strong, my husband."

"You are stronger! It will pass. You will overcome them!"

"Don't count on it, Herpes. They're tough gutsy females!"

"I am the stronger." Bel´ju straightened and smiled with confidence.

"In a pig's eyes! Carter'll mop the floor with you!"

"Enough!" Heru'ur waved a hand of dismissal. "Bring me the potion and prepare this Tau'ri to receive my former First Prime's symbiote!"

_Former? Well that explains what happened to the happy traitor Rival. _

"Now see that could be a mistake." Jack's hands directed his words. "Me and snakes don't mix. The last one ended up with freezer burn as did your mommy dearest, Hathor."

Two guards latched onto him.

Jack fastened his determined glint on Bel´ju. "So help me, Carter, if I wakeup spouting Kree!" The Pain Stick was jammed between his shoulder blades. Jack screamed as the electric power surge shot through his skull and out his mouth before he collapsed.

"He is courageous." Bel´ju commented coolly. She left Heru'ur's embrace and then approached Jack's slack body.

"Indeed. He is ours." Heru'ur gloated. "And with all the knowledge he and his mate possess, they shall help us defeat Apophis."

Bending down, Bel´ju grabbed Jack's short tufted hair, lifted his head and then dragged a fingertip along his whiskered jaw.

"You find him desirable?" Heru'ur settled on his throne behind her.

"Just as you find his mate to your liking."

"Indeed, I do. Once he is ours, you can indulge yourself with both of us, Beloved."

Bel´ju turned and smiled at her mate. "I would enjoy that, Beloved."

Two guards lifted Jack off the floor and placed him on a long low table. Bel´ju proceeded to strap him down. Opening his tunic, she ran her fingertips down his chest and across the muscled taut six-pack of his stomach.

"Hathor made him Jaffa once before," she informed.

"Then he won't reject Re'vil's symbiote."

"No."

"Crunches,"Jack muttered when her touch lingered on his abdomen.

The female Goa'uld flinched. "I wish to perform the _Prim´tah_ ritual."

"If it amuses you, my Queen?"

"It does." She removed the jeweled amulet from her waist that would form the pouch for the symbiote and secured it over Jack's abdomen. She then took the cup of mind-altering potion from a slave and dismissed the girl. Two guards entered with a sealed glass urn containing the live symbiote, set down the jar and backed out bowing.

Blocking Heru'ur's view, Bel´ju bent over her victim. "Look at me," she ordered quietly.

Jack didn't respond. The Goa'uld yanked his hair and hissed, "Striker!"

Suspicious, Jack opened one eye. Sam winked and shoved a zat into his left hand that was not cinched tight and concealed it beneath his tunic's sleeve. Who else knew he was ambidextrous?

Carter was back!

FREEZER BURN! 

"T—?"

"DanielJackson?"

"About to freezzze off three vital parts ooof my ana—tomy—How long must we staay in he-er-e?"

"Until—"

A loud clank echoed. The guards had left the ship.

"Now!" Teal'c opened the hatch, crawled out and then assisted a shivering Daniel out of the freezer compartment that was not meant for two grown men, let alone one huge Jaffa.

Daniel chaffed his arms and followed Teal'c to the ship's open hatchway where two guards stood inside.

"We will need their uniforms." Teal'c glanced a Daniel.

"No duh." Daniel rolled his eyes and zapped the guards before they could fire back. Teal'c had the honors of dragging the stunned men inside the ship.

"Well done, Daniel Jackson."

"Achew!" He sniffed as he yanked off his damp BDU's. Oh, he was getting a cold all right. He hated when that happened.

SGC Briefing Room 

General George Hammond gazed at the Stargate as the iris closed behind SG-8, which had left on a mission. It had been nine hours since he'd received the last message from Digger Two. George did not feel confident. Doctor Jackson's message had too many holes even for the absent-minded linguist. Secondly, he'd failed to respond to Hammond's reply or the third message he'd sent over an hour ago.

All George knew was that hundreds of light years away SG-1's, CO and its 2IC had been captured by Heru'ur and Daniel and Teal'c were attempting to rescue them. Well, that was more news than he usually got when serious shit went down with his flagship team. But something in Daniel's voice didn't ring true. Not to mention he hadn't mention Jacob's whereabouts in this rescue mission gone amuck.

"General?" Janet Fraiser stood in the doorway.

"Doctor." George tried to smile, but failed. "What can I do for you?"

"I was just wondering if you'd heard from SG-1?"

"Afraid not, Major."

Her attractive features taut with concern, Janet fidgeted with her lab coat, but her tone remained upbeat. "Well, knowing Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter, they will find a means of escape. They always do, sir."

Trying to preserve his usual optimistic view, George smiled. "Or course they will, Doctor. But I would suggest we all do some serious praying."

"Of course, General." Janet nodded, jammed her hands into her coat pockets and walked away.

Releasing a heartfelt sigh, George closed his eyes and took his own advice.

He prayed.

CHAPTER EIGHT   
'Next time someone offers you drugs, just say, "No!"' 

Jack feigned unconsciousness and hoped Carter knew what she was doing. Worse, he hoped this was his Carter and not just another Goa'uld head game.

"My lord!" Second Prime returned whining.

"Speak!"

"The guards on the captured Tel'tac were overtaken. There are spies among us."

"Fools! All of you!"

"I'm sorry, my lord—"

"Bel´ju?"

"I will be safe, Beloved."

Heru'ur's boot heels struck the floor as he departed the throne room. As Sam freed Jack, he was surprised to find them alone. However, he refused to yank the _Sold Sign_ off the front lawn. Sitting upright, he released the zat's safety and heaven help him, aimed at Sam.

"Who are you?" He stared hard into her turbulent eyes that for the moment looked so much like Sam's.

"Holy Hannah!" Her gaze locked onto the weapon pointed to her chest. "It's me, sir!"

"Didn't get the memo." He yanked his tunic into place.

"Maybe if you'd cleaned your desk off, sir."

"I have a desk?" He scratched his slackened jaw.

Sam/it gave the atypical Carter chin jut followed by shutting her eyes and sighing her frustration. They were at a standoff of the weirdest kind. Jack didn't buy this snakehead was Tok´ra let alone Sam speaking freely.

"A blended Goa'uld has access to all of Carter's memories." Warily, he swung off the table, realizing she could use her hand device. The fact she hadn't, gave him pause.

"We haven't much time, Colonel. You must believe Bel´ju is Tok´ra."

"That's where we agree to disagree. Coz, nothing you say will convince me I'm speaking to Carter."

"Yesterday you had to zat your Road Runner boxers and whined to Daniel about it."

"Carter!"

She took the mind-altering potion filled a vial, sealed it, and then dumped the rest into the container holding the agitated symbiote. "Your favorite color is peridot. You think Homer Simpson should be president and Burns is a Goa'uld. You get aroused whenever I tell you I'm wearing a certain little tank top number. Until last night, your main goal in life was to discover where a specific mole is on my body and—"

"Geez!" Jack scrubbed his face.

"You haven't caught a Bass in two years."

"Nah ah! One." He held up three fingers.

She snorted.

"Fine. Two."

Reaching into the glass container, the said Tok´ra grabbed the symbiote youngster behind its spiny head. It's gills fanning out, the withering, pale creature squealed as if it knew what was coming.

"You eat Jell-O and ice cream with a fork." She dangled the symbiote at arm's length. "Fry it, sir!"

"Drop it."

She did.

He fired midair.

With three blasts the snakehead disintegrated.

"Nice shot. Oh, and your favorite weapon is C4."

"Second favorite." He looked back at Sam/it who grinned at the puff that had almost been Jack's tenant, her expression so Sam.

"Now, I'm impressed! Well, almost. Since there are more of those where that thingy came from, why should I believe you're Tok´ra?" He snorted, watching the entranceway as they came alongside each other.

"Because," Sam's eyes glowed and her voice lowered, "I am, Bel´ju mother of Jolinar of Malkshur."

"So?"

"Heru'ur does not know of my relationship with Jolinar."

"Big deal."

"We would all be dead if he knew."

"Only if it's true."

"It is."

"Well, not to get nitpicky here, but Carter knows everything you said. Now if you want to win me over, how about something, say—impossible for her to know, that I know." _That should end this insane exchange. The Goa'uld or Tok´ra certainly aren't mind readers._

"You have shared your deepest secrets with Samantha."

"Ah, yeah, so?" Jack kept the zat at chest level. _Well most of them._

"Still there is one recent event you have yet to confess. When you were caught in a time loop, you handed General Hammond your resignation in the control room, dipped, and then kissed Samantha Carter. She kissed you back. Quite fervently might I add. You have not informed her of this indiscretion for fear she would become angry with you."

Speechless, Jack's face twisted before his jaw dropped open.

She hurried to the throne, removed another zat and a sheathed knife from beneath the cushions, and then returned. "Shut your mouth, Homer . . .um, whoa! Sorry, sir." Sam blushed, shoving the zat and the knife into his hands as a peace offering.

Yep, this was his Sam. But did she know what Bel´ju just told him? He hoped not! He slipped one zat into his pant's waist beneath his tunic then glanced at the knife.

"It will penetrate Heru'ur's force shield."

"Right." He pocketed the blade. "Um, you'll need this." He offered Sam the zat back, hoping it was the right thing.

"A god would never be seen with that. Besides I have this." She raised her hand device.

"Gotcha." 

"Relax, Jack, she does not know what I shared," Bel´ju jumped in.

"Ah, okay. Appreciate it." He nodded masking discomfort and confusion.

"I am forever grateful that your mate gave sanctuary to my beloved daughter. I only regret the _Ashrak_ took her life and yet remain thankful that Samantha was spared."

"Um, well, there's that. Now how about you find yourself another house to rent, coz I'm a one woman man and not into sharing my major let alone my wife." He waved a hand as if willing the creature out of Sam.

"For cryin' out loud, Colonel." Sam turned, lifted her long skirts and tramped toward the open hatchway. "We've got to find Daniel and Teal'c, save our assets and get the hell out of Dodge."

"Okay, that's fricking weird. Stop talking like me." His zat aimed at her, Jack dragged a hand through his hair and followed her into the corridor.

"Just trying to convince you, I'm me, Colonel, sir."

"Convince me you aren't going to have that sna. . . um, Jolinar's mommy in permanent residence and I'll kiss you stupid, Carter."

"Were I Goa'uld, I would have wholly blended with Samantha. But as Tok´ra that is against my belief system," explained Bel´ju, "we both share this body."

"And stop head hopping. I'm lightheaded listening to you—two."

"Maybe if you weren't attention deficit—"

The zat in one hand Jack yanked them between two corridor panels, and held his palm over Sam's/it's mouth as eight Horus guards marched by with staff weapons and entered Heru'ur's chamber.

Day jà view! Hathor's ship last year!

Slowly, Jack lowered his hand, letting it slip across the firm swell of Sam's fast quaking chest, then under her ribs. Her left hand came up and gripped tight while she leaned into him. Jack's head reeled. He glanced down smelling the light fragrance of vanilla and strawberries with that hint of cinnamon that was hers alone.

"You okay?" His whiskered jaw grazed her hot cheek, his love for her ready to detonate.

"Always." Her whispered breath caressed his face. Her touch felt clammy, her body trembled. Control the missing factor here. Years of enduring mental and physical stress had disciplined the Carter he knew. This was wrong on so many levels. What was Bel´ju doing to his wife?

The guards rolled out of the chamber splitting into teams. Two guards marched their way, halted, and then faced the partition that concealed them.

Two hearts beating as one, Jack and Sam held their breaths.

The largest guard stepped forward and trained his staff weapon at the wall panel. Jack heard the distinct deadly swoosh of the flare as the guard released the weapon's safety.

"Kree!" a deep voice behind the mask ordered their surrender.

Dang! Jack glanced around. They were cornered. Two zats. Two staff weapons and—Sam/it tugged free of him. Jack rolled his eyes as she boldly walked out to face the armed guards.

"How dare you! Bow before your god!" She gestured with her hand device for them to obey.

"Sam?" the second guard's voice pitched behind his mask.

_Daniel!_ Jack sighed respite.

"No," the first guard disputed. "She has been blended. She is now Goa'uld."

"Wrong, big fellow." His zat aimed Jack strolled out behind Sam and cupped her shoulder reassuringly.

"O'Neill!" Teal'c lowered his helmet and righted his staff weapon. He looked at Sam and tipped his head, obviously torn between his keen Jaffa senses and Jack.

"I am, Bel´ju of Malkshur."

"She's Tok´ra, kids."

"But she's Heru'ur's queen," Daniel pressed yanking the large helm off his sweating head.

"I am. It has taken me years to gain Heru'ur's confidence. He is extremely suspicious and jealous. He drugged my host beyond my ability to heal her and—."

"Um, I'm all for learning the spicy details of Heru'ur's love life, but we got to get out of here. Pronto!" Jack ordered and hugging a wall, started down the opposite corridor.

"Pssst!" Daniel called at him.

"What?"

"Docking bay's this way." Daniel jerked a thumb.

"Eh?" Jack looked at Sam who had remained with Teal'c and Daniel.

She grinned and nodded.

"Oh!" He sheepishly backtracked while his CO mindset came full circle. "Teal'c, Daniel, you take point—."

"This will not do," Bel´ju argued.

"Why?" He felt annoyed.

"Heru'ur has all the main corridors manned."

"So?" Jack waved the zat with impatience.

"Teal'c and Daniel should escort us as guards in service to their queen and new First Prime."

"It would make sense, O'Neill." Teal'c agreed, slipping the Horus helmet over his massive baldhead while Daniel groused, sneezed, and took up the rear flank.

"Sounds like a plan." Lowering his zat Jack buttoned his tunic and fell into step beside Sam. "Let's go, campers."

CHAPTER NINE 

'_Momma said there'd be days like this . . .' _

They had made it past four sets of guards and were almost to the docking bay. Jack had the O'Neill gut ache of the century. _Tums anyone?_

Something stunk in Oz. His plan already taking its inevitable course, he eased his zat along his spine behind his trousers. Glancing at Sam, he interlocked his hand with hers. Her small palm was slippery as her fingers tightened around his. Perspiration beaded her upper lip and punctuated her forehead. She trembled uncontrollably. Jack knew the signs.

Anger fused his heart and mindset. He had experienced his share of narcotic painkiller withdrawals during his Black Ops days in Iraq. Strapped down for days vomiting, hallucinating, wanting someone to hand you a gun so you could end the hellish torture!

Jack's heartache heightened. A double-edged sword controlled Sam. To think that once more against her will, Sam had a worm in her head made him see black! He recalled the horror of Jolinar inside Sam and how it had messed her up afterward. It took months before she really talked to him about it, explained how unnerving it was to possess another being's experiences, thoughts, and most of all emotions. Jack had become jealous with the Jolinar and Martouf love affair. He knew Martouf had fallen in love with Sam. No doubt, originally because Sam possessed the memories of his mate. But for Jack, who basically saw things black and white, it meant another man was moving in on his woman. The fact Martouf shared something with Sam that Jack couldn't, made it even more intolerable. But, as usual, Jack kept up his wall and Sam would never know.

No, Sam would never know of the conversation he and Martouf shared that fatal day. The day the security of the SGC and the treaty between Earth and the Tok´ra was compromised. The day Sam and Jack were suspected to be exploding Za´tarc assassins and he volunteered to be a guinea pig to save Sam from the same fate. The day their well-kept secret went public. The day Martouf died at Sam's hands.

'"_Jack?"_

"_Marty, old pal? What brings you to my humble abode?" He looked up as the SF closed the door behind the Tok´ra, his wary gaze noting Freya/Anise outside his holding cell, again. Now what? He'd agreed to take the Za'tarc test that had killed Lieutenant Astor. No doubt, Freya had come to offer her personal services one last time. She was such a who— _

"_Freya is waiting to administer the test, Jack. We haven't much time." _

"_Yeah, well, time's relative according to Carter." He pulled out his yoyo and practiced walking the dog, trying to forget what'd he'd just agreed to, in order to save the woman he loved._

_Marty settled in the same chair Freya's hot butt had warmed an hour before. What was it with these horny snakeheads? God help him, if Marty hit on him, he'd—_

"_We need to talk about Sam." _

"_No we don't." His wall went up. His mouth flattened-lined. _

"_She is in love with you." _

"_You're nuts." _

"_I wish I was. I wish Sam could feel for me what she feels for you." _

_Jack gawked. The room was security rigged! Had Martouf any idea what those recorded accusations could do to Sam's career? Let alone if Jack admitted to them. He took a piece of paper, scribbled and shoved it in the idiot's face, snapping his finger against the word—BUGGED!_

"_It has been temporarily disabled." Marty nodded with his charming smile._

"_That's so Tok´ra of you." He scrubbed his face, tossed his hands in the air and grunted. _

"_But necessary. Our discussion must remain confidential and brief. Anise is ready to administer the test." _

"_So you've said. Just what else you saying here, Marty?" Jack dropped his feet from the cot and leaned forward._

"_What we both know. I have been in love with Sam since we met."_

"_Nah ah. No one falls in love on the first date!" Jack stole Jacob's stupid line, realizing just how crazy it sounded coming from his lips._

_Martouf pressed on, "At first it was our bond with Jolinar. Sam was able to share Jolinar's last thoughts with me. But that was not enough. I soon realized that I loved and desired Sam. Still do. But since we first touched, I knew her heart was already spoken for. I even sensed with whom." _

"_Nice of ya to share." Jack yawned to avoid the man's intense scrutiny. _

"_I have tried to be your friend, Jack." The Tok´ra touched his forearm. Jack eased out of it. _

"_Yeah, well, we've established mutual cynical respect. Not to mention you still got a snake in your head and how your High Council always manages to leave out pertinent details that, like now, jeopardize my team and Earth."_

"_I understand your overall mistrust, Jack. But on a personal level, the first day we met at the Tok´ra base, I sensed the passionate attachment between yourself and Samantha. Your protective nature for her overrules your concern for all others. I even felt your disapproval and dislike of me when I invited Sam to the surface to talk. I believe you called us kids and told me to have her home by eleven p.m." He smiled slightly. _

"_It's the parental nature of being a CO. And I don't dislike you, Marty. I just . . . Well, other than hating the Goa'uld we've nothing in common. Never have, never will." _

"_We have Samantha's welfare in common." _

"_Carter's a valuable member of my team. Besides, her brain's worth a lot more than mine."_

"_I am not talking about her unique level of intelligence, Jack. I'm talking about emotions." _

"_Emotions are not one of my stronger points, Marty." He checked his watch in annoyance. On the other side of the door Freya/Anise stood beside Siler staring through the window. Siler held Jack's gaze and then lowered his expression of regret. Jack's breath hitched. This was for real. And time was a wasting. He shoved to his feet and headed for the door before Siler could interrupt with the 'Dead Man Walking' theme music. _

_Martouf spoke up. "You conceal your feelings well, Jack O' Neill. No doubt you have a box in which you keep them hidden."_

"_Yep, big, deep box, Marty, and no body gets inside."   
_

_The man laughed softly. "Perhaps, but I believe Samantha has the key to that box." _

_Jack snorted. _

"_You talk crass and often act how do you Tau'ri say, stupid. When, in fact, you are very intelligent. You feel and love far more than most men in your position. I even believe you like me more than you'll admit. But more important you are desperately in love with Sam."_

_Jack donned his best deadpan expression and looked back at the younger man. Amazing how despite his don't give a rip behavior, certain people like Martouf saw through him. _

"_Look, were I to admit to that silly notion, which I won't. What has this to do with Carter and me accused of being assassins?"_

"_Everything. I believe that you and Samantha failed the Za´tarc test because you are not honest about your personal feelings for one another."_

"_Nah ah!" He waved his pointers. "Even if what you suggest was true, we were asked specific questions about what we did on Apophis' ship, not how we felt. I assume we told the same story?" _

"_Yes, but—"_

"_No butts, Marty! Now, if you don't mind I've got a killer date with your brain surgeon, Anise." He pocketed his yoyo. "And you've got an important meeting with my pres and your superior high counselor." _

"_Yes I do." Marty nodded, and then coming alongside Jack, stared into his eyes. "You intend to die for Samantha?"_

"_Yeah." Jack's already accelerated heart rate pitched. He looked at the younger man, seeing his unconditional love for Sam. In that moment they came to an understanding. They loved the same woman and would die for her. "So guess we have something in common after all, Marty." _

"_We do, Jack." Martouf nodded solemnly. "Please, know, I will be here for Samantha."_

"_Sure, you will." He couldn't give his blessings to the Tok´ra, couldn't say, 'Hey, if I get my brains scrambled, take care of my Sam.' Nope. Despite their mutual respect, Jack would rather Sam find love with Daniel or anyone without a worm calling the shots. _

"_I have spoken with her." _

"_Know that." Jack raised his fist to rap on the door._

"_She said to tell you something."_

"_What?" Jack turned his head. _

"_That you and she are forever okay."_

_The first smile in hours graced Jack's lips. _

"_Her words are important to you?" Confusion illuminated Marty's lean face._

"_Yeah." He nodded. They were the most important words in the world.' _

Jack's musings of that fatal day came full circle, but he didn't forget the reason he'd been thinking about Martouf. She walked beside him holding his hand. They were marching the corridors of Heru'ur's ship and Sam with a freaking snake in her head – again. She'd sworn to never be blended— again. Yet, here she was manipulated by another entity, even worse, an addicted one. He had to end this madness, had to save his wife, no matter the cost. Martouf's words reverberated within in his head. _"You intend to die for Sam." _

"Yeah," Jack said softly as he made his decision.

"Sir?" Sam presented her million-watt smile and gripped his hand tighter. "It's me."

"Know that." He nodded vaguely.

"We okay?" her voice trembled and she touched his shoulder.

"Forever okay, Dorothy." Jack grazed his thumb along her quivering dry lips. Sam captured his fingers and pressed a kiss to them. He felt the warm hum of her lips, knew that familiar sensation was Sam's alone. Jack almost lost it. He wanted to kiss her, hold her forever. His eyes held and caressed her teary blue gaze, praying this wasn't the last time he'd see or feel Sam loving him.

Daniel cleared his throat.

Jack dropped his hand and they began walking again.

"Bel´ju?" he'd forced the Tok´ra's name passed his tongue, pronouncing it correctly, intentionally.

Sam's blonde head lowered then lifted. "Yes?"

"Why'd you bring the drug vial?"

"For the Tok´ra to analyze."

"Ah."

"You do not seem convinced." She glanced at him as they cautiously rounded a corner finding it empty.

Major gut ache. _So not good, O'Neill. _

"Well, if your host was addicted to that crap . . ."

She frowned and then redirected her gaze ahead of them. The snake was lying which meant Sam knew why!

"Sam?"

She swiveled to gaze at him. Jack encountered Bel´ju. They approached the open docking bay and hanger. Open being the misleading factor.

"Well, I'm just saying." Jack realized the dreaded truth and reached for his zat—too late.

"It means she's not going anywhere," Heru'ur announced stepping clear of the shadows.

A flank of Horus guards surrounded Jack's team.

Teal'c raised his staff weapon to fire.

"Give it up, T!" Jack waved a hand.

'O'Neill?" The Jaffa's brows shifted in astonishment.

"Jack?" Daniel questioned behind him, his weapon aimed at two guards.

Jack lifted his tunic's hem a fraction.

"Um, right." Daniel surrendered his staff. "Do what the boss-man says, Teal'c," Daniel confirmed.

Frowning, Teal'c extended his weapon to another guard.

"You never intended to leave with them, did you, Beloved?" Heru'ur looked confidently at his mate.

"Carter?" Jack felt her trembling hand pull free from his grip. He reached out as she backed away, shaking her head. He looked at her, willing Sam to break through. Deep brown eyes bore into blue eyes. He sensed Sam struggling to break free.

"I am sorry," Bel´ju said regretfully. "I did not want this blending, but had no choice." She took her place alongside Heru'ur who draped his arm around her waist and pulled her into him.

Jack winced then donned indifference. It was imperative Sam/it perceive him in control.

"My Beloved, you are in need." Heru'ur seemed concerned and tenderly touched Sam's damp brow.

"Yeess," her voice wavered and she slipped a hand into her pocket, retrieving the vial.

"Oh, boy. This is not good, Jack." Daniel sighed out.

"Um, you just noticed?" He toyed with the wedding band on his finger, felt the Tok´ra's gaze.

"I believe she is addicted to something, O'Neill." Teal'c observed as Sam/it put the vial of orange liquid to her lips.

"Listen to me, Carter. You're not a druggie, yet. Bel´ju is. Fight it, Major!" Jack barked in his flinty CO voice.

Sam's desperate sorrowful eyes met his before she looked away.

Heru'ur snorted at Jack's attempt to reach her. "You, Tau'ri, are pathetically weak and pitiful!"

"And so's your manic-depressed Beloved!" Jack gestured at her. "Is that what you want to spend the rest of your centuries with, Herpes? A co-dependant snakehead?"

"She wasn't always this way!" Heru'ur defended.

"Geez, no kidding, Chrome Dome." Jack took a casual step back. Daniel took one forward.

The angle Teal'c faced, allowed him to view his teammates subtle seasoned movements. The Jaffa's left brow flickered in comprehension. Jack nodded.

"And I just bet you blame yourself for making her this way? Like that would happen!"

Turning to Jack, Bel´ju had ceased her tremor sweats, appeared more composed. Jack noted how she fingered her hair behind her ears and tilted her head toward him. Sam gestures.

"I assume you still want me as First Prime?" He taunted.

Shaking his head, the handsome Goa'uld scoffed, "That is no longer an option, Tau'ri. You have too great a hold on your mate. However, the bounty on your head and that of the _Shol'vah_ Teal'c, will gain me much favor with Apophis. To become one of his inner circle is more beneficial for my plans to overthrow him."

"Now see, that makes complete sense, right, kids?" Jack grinned at everyone. "So before you send us packing, care to fill a few crates and then let me kiss my wife goodbye?" He channeled Sam with the waggle of his brows and his devil may care grin.

She returned her turtledove chin tuck and winked. Sam was back. _Houston, you have a go! _

"No!" The Goa'uld was obviously suspicious and jealous.

"Please?" Bel´ju touched her mate's forearm. "It is the least we can do."

"Are you certain, Beloved?" He looked way too mushy at her.

"Yes."

"A freaking Goa'uld with a heart! Geez, will wonders ever cease?"

"Indeed." Teal'c sounded equally surprised.

"Now if he only had a brain." Jack whistled the '_Wizard of Oz'._

"Um, Jack?" Daniel prompted.

"Not now, Daniel."

"No?"

"No." He returned his attention to the lovebirds . . .um, snakes. "Yo, Herpes, you do know she's . . ." he gestured to Bel´ju, "Tok´ra, right?"

"I do."

"Glad we got that ironed out." He rubbed the back of his neck, stretching his tunic in the process. "And that's why you slipped her the Mickey?"

"I had no choice." He sounded almost human and drew Sam close. "She was a Tok´ra operative."

Was?

Whoops!

"You could have fried her brain with your doohickey. Like is that real gold?"

"She is my Beloved!"

"Well see that's where it gets confusing." Jack tapped his forehead. "Mommy Hathor called everyone," he hung quote marks in the air, '"_Beloved._' just before she toasted them, froze them or in Daniel's case, screw—"

"Jack!"

"Sorry." He brushed against the archeologist.

"Kree!" Heru'ur's dome turned fire engine red. "Take them away."

"Nah ah." Jack stepped boldly forward wagging a finger at the Goa'uld. "Don't be an Indian giver, Herpes. Coz, I got a big, fat, French kiss coming." He winked at Sam.

Sam's blue eyes rounded at his double connotation. She shook her head no but Bel´ju made her walk toward him.

"Bel´ju, ya hussy?" Jack challenged as he swaggered closer, shining his most seductive smile. "This is the proving ground. Time to right the wrong. Out with the old—in with the new. Yadda, yadda."

Before Heru'ur made sense of Jack's nonsense Jack kissed Sam, slipping the knife into her pocket that nestled between their molded bodies. When his mouth opened over hers he drew her hard and tight against him. Sam struggled to resist. Jack willed her to yield as his tongue dueled hers. Bel´ju submitted to his intimate kiss. Her fingers digging deep into his shoulder blades, Sam's body relaxed and then stiffened. Jack jolted from the painful, piercing invasion as an electrical surge exploded down his spinal column, fusing into his nerve fibers. His reactions were solely premeditated. Jack tossed the zat at Teal'c and flung Sam into the Jaffa's arms.

"Come to Momma!" Jack turned on Heru'ur!

CHAPTER TEN 'Who's your Daddy?' 

"Kree! Do not harm my Beloved!"

Wiping her mouth, Sam tasted blood. Her blood! Jack's blood! Weak-kneed, she teetered against the Jaffa who righted her, then set himself between her and the oncoming Horus guards. Sam's vision blurred. Daniel caught her, shoved her behind him and shot his zat and pistol.

She heard shuffling, painful cries. Zats and staff weapons fired. A heat blast grazed her left arm. Daniel yanked her to the floor and they rolled as one.

Jack's voice echoed tauntingly like a Goa'uld. Her heart lurched. Not Jack! She attempted to link with Bel´ju but met only a haze of confusion, her own.

Daniel cursed then said, "Heru'ur's got the shield and has blocked the docking bay. Sam, you're hit!" He was in her face, tearing the seared fabric from her bleeding arm.

"Be—fine." She shoved to her knees feeling the hilt of the knife in her right hand. "Where are the Colonel and Teal'c?"

"Teal'c's there." Daniel pointed at the opposite wall where the Jaffa had taken out all but six of the Horus guards who'd come to their god's rescue.

"Heru'ur lost many of his troops in the last battle against Apophis. Although he's regrouping, he's been faking his numbers for months." Bel'ju's memories rushed passed Sam's lips. "Other than whoever is piloting, what you see is probably all there is."

"Well that sweetens the pot." Daniel dropped another guard then scooted beside her.

"Jack?" Sam met Daniel's wired blue gaze.

"He and Bel´ju are at a standoff with Heru'ur. Don't know how long Jack can control her."

"She's Tok´ra, Daniel."

"She's an addict. And like it or not, Heru'ur's her dealer."

"Yeah," Sam admitted. Her vision cleared and she focused on Jack held by two guards. "Heru'ur knows we switched?"

"Yep and he's not happy! He wants his mate and he doesn't want her in Jack. Apparently he's not into the gay rights movement."

That made Sam smile. Daniel spent too much time around her man. "She must leave him."

"Hope so."

"She promised before she left me." Sam shook her head and began to shake. Shock? Yes. Withdrawal? A definite.

"Sam?" Daniel pulled her further into the corner and turned her face to his. "Talk to me!"

"Holy Hannah, she's dying, Daniel! And if she dies while inside Jack—"

"He goes with her."

"Yes!"

"Does he know?"

"Does now."

"How long?" Daniel peered around the wall as two more guards joined the action.

"Minutes at most." Shoving her feeling deep, Sam got to her feet. "I must get past those guards." She wielded the knife.

They glanced across to Teal'c who signed a tactical maneuver. Sam and Daniel nodded. Teal'c came out firing two zats, taking out guards to the left and right. Her target in sight Sam didn't waver as staff and zats blasted around her.

While Teal'c took out the guards holding Jack/Bel´ju, Sam saw his ashen complexion, his unsteady stance. To Sam's astonishment Bel´ju placed Jack's body between her and Heru'ur.

"No, sir!" Sam screamed.

Jack turned and looked at her and she saw recognition in his eyes, the same passionate admission they'd shared six months ago on Apophis' vessel. Jack loved her.

Heru'ur lunged to pull Jack to him. Double Zat fire dropped Jack/Bel´ju who fell out of the Goa'uld's reach. Heru'ur screamed his rage and his force field encased him. He fired at Teal'c and Daniel dropping both men in seconds. The angered god turned to fire upon Sam, but her knife was already soaring for its target. It entered the Goa'uld's chest and he crumbled to the floor, reaching out for Bel´ju.

Sam ran for Jack. Behind her, Daniel and Teal'c's voices reverberated. They were alive!

Sam flipped Jack over and felt his threading pulse. "Bel´ju!" She pulled Jack onto his side and pried open his mouth. "Leave him!"

"Ca—n't," The Goa'ulds whispered from Jack's dry lips as fresh blood trickled over them.

"You must! Or he'll die!"

Jack's pulse ebbed to nothing.

"No!" Sam cried out.

Teal'c and Daniel came beside her. Teal'c checked Jack's vitals. "I sense no life signs, Daniel Jackson."

"Sam, we must go!" Daniel demanded as an outside blast rocked the mother ship. "Apophis is onto us!"

"Jack's dead!" Disbelief coiled around Sam's heart. They'd been in this situation before, right? Jack would make it. He always did. She willed his beautiful brown eyes to open, for his irreverent mouth to say something, anything!

"We will bring him with us. The Tok´ra or Knox can revive him." Teal'c scooped up Jack's limp body and he raced toward the Tel΄tac with Sam and Daniel hot on his tail.

Once inside, Teal'c gently laid Jack on the cargo bay floor. Sam knelt down and touched the cool ashen features of her husband. Jack's one-liners bombarded her. _"Excuse me? Yeah sure yabetcha. Whatever! Just peachy. Sweet. Fine, fine! Fricking! Crap! Dang! Geez! Now there's a novel idea. Excellent! There should be cake. Cake or Carter? Look trees! That's wrong on so many levels. We still having fun, kids? Oy! I'm just saying. For crying out loud! Apparently. And you were there and you were there . . . Hail Dorothy! We're off to see the Wizard . . .Oz here we come! Weird. Cool. Nice. Nah ah! Morning campers. Wanna go fishing? It's not about the fish it's about fishing, Carter. C'mere—" _

"_Go save our collective asses, Carter!" _Sam jolted as she realized that's exactly what Jack would say.

"Yes, sir!" She took her place beside Teal'c at the helm.

"I can't believe they don't have passenger seats let alone seatbelts!" Daniel hung onto the back of Teal'c pilot seat for dear life.

The mother ship's exterior cargo bay door began to open. Engines engaged the Tel΄tac maneuvered into launching position. The mother ship took another strike and rolled, sending them on a collision course with the partially opened door. Teal'c steered clear just missing the fatal collision. A second later they were space bound, but not safe. A dozen death gliders were on their trail. Something far worse hovered in the distance.

"Holy Hannah!" Sam gulped as they spotted the biggest honky mother ship of all times. "Apophis!"

"So it would appear." Teal'c sounded too calm.

"Engage hyper drive, T!" Sam initiated the cloaking device.

"I will, indeed, Major Carter-O'Neill." He smiled.

Sam waited to experience the oncoming rush. Nothing! She looked at Teal'c, who was no longer smiling.

"We have less than thirty-percent normal capacity and the hyper-drive has been disabled." He elevated a brow.

"Figures. Daniel with me." She bolted out of her seat and ran for the engine room, side stepping Jack's body. While she and Daniel recalibrated the crystals settings, an explosion rocked their ship.

"Teal'c!" she yelled out, holding onto a panel while Daniel kissed the floor.

"Heru'ur's ship is no more, Major."

"Great!" Daniel muttered getting to his feet.

"However, a death glider launched before impact," Teal'c finished.

"Heru'ur?" Sam winced.

"Very possible. I also believe Apophis senses our presence."

Death gliders soared within hearing.

"Hit it!" Sam called out.

Their ship lurched forward.

"We are at full capacity. Entering hyper drive now!"

Sam embraced the weird dizzy feeling and closed her eyes. A moment later, they were zipping through hyperspace and hopefully out of harm's way.

"I will attempt to contact the Tok´ra, Major Carter," Teal'c voice echoed somewhere in the lonely plains of her mind.

"Sure, you do that," Sam's words sounded as empty as she felt.

Her team was safe.

Her CO was dead.

Her husband was dead.

Like a puppet, Sam turned to find Daniel checking Jack's pulse. Sam shut her eyes to the reality that threatened to suffocate her. She didn't have to see the despair on his face when he found no pulse. When she opened her eyes, Daniel was yanking a blue BDU button-down from his backpack. Sam recognized the Colonel's insignia patch. Her throat dried when Daniel turned back, intending to cover Jack's peaceful countenance.

"Not yet." Kneeling beside her friend, tears burned Sam's eyelids, but she refused to cry. Jack wouldn't want her too, at least not here.

"Jack did it for you, Sam." Daniel drew her into his arms and smoothed her hair like Jack used to. For a moment she was in Jack's embrace, but the touch was different as was the lean body she'd molded herself against. Daniel wasn't Jack. Never would be. Despite, Daniel's hurt expression Sam eased from his comforting hold.

"He'd have done it for anyone," she countered, knowing and loving that truth about her husband.

"Yeah, he would." Daniel nodded, then bent and placed each of Jack's arms over his chest. "But it's you alone, he lived for. Always remember that."

She nodded. Teal'c joined them. Knelling beside her, he eased a massive arm around her shoulders and held her. Her heart lurched as she felt the large man's tremor. The time when Daniel offered his arm, she accepted. These two men holding her were the only people in the universe who truly understood and shared her loss. Seeing tears in Daniel's blue eyes, she tightened her resolve. For them and for Jack she would show no weakness. She would not cry.

Teal'c finally broke their silent vigil. "I've sent our IDC to the Tok´ra, Major. Would you like me to contact General Hammond?"

"Thank you, Teal'c. It is my duty to tell the General. Just give me a moment, huh?"

"As you wish." He squeezed her firmer and then left.

Her friends made eye contact.

"We'll be at the helm, Sam." Daniel kissed her cheek. "When you're ready, Teal'c will put Jack's remains in the freezer. And we need to tend your wound."

Barely aware of his voice, she nodded. She was even less aware of the throbbing pain in her upper arm.

The men stood and walked away.

Sam clutched Jack's BDU shirt to her cheek, inhaling his familiar scent of English Leather and more, the earthy scent of crushed autumn leaves. It seemed as if his Minnesota heritage had branded itself to Jack's very being.

Smoothing the wrinkled shirt, she wanted to laugh. Jack would have appreciated this. Daniel had Jack's clean BDU's and skivvies all along, just one of their many Hallmark team moments. Of course, Sam hadn't known until now. Better yet, she had enjoyed the snug fitting Tok´ra breeches on her husband.

"Crap!" She subconsciously whispered the simple reply Jack would have given to being the butt of Daniel's prank. She could hear him. "_I so own you, Daniel_."

Yeah, there would have been O'Neill payback, of course. Warped Daniel counted on it. There'd be none now. No, there would never be a lot of things. No more chess, stargazing, cookouts, pool games, walks in the park, stolen hugs in their private SGC 'room.' No more opera, Homer Simpson debates, Gene Kelly movie marathons. Watching Jack's chocolate eyes glaze over listening to her techno-babble. Man, oh man, they'd never go fishing!

Sam trailed a trembling finger along his blue shadowed jaw. Right now, more than anything, she wished she'd not been on birth control via the SGC's regulations for all female officers assigned to SG teams. What she wouldn't give to be carrying Jack's child, and yet, it was for the best that she wasn't pregnant. It would not be fair to the child to never have known his/her father. She smiled lovingly down at him. "I thank the _Keeper of the Stars_ for you, Jack O'Neill. Now fly home to Him and go fishing."

Her hand encircling his cold left hand and his wedding band, Sam brushed a soft moist kiss across Jack's parched lips, and then she froze. Her heart hammered as she forced to concentrate on what she felt and sensed. Shocked, she pulled back and stared at him. A nerve along his jaw flickered. Time stood still before she found her voice.

"Daniel! Teal'c!"

"What?" Daniel shouted running back to her side.

"They're warm!" She waved at Jack's lips.

"There's no pulse, Sam."

"Yes!" She frantically padded her dress searching for the darn pockets. "When Jolinar was dying, my vitals also stopped."

"Sure, but this is different." Daniel dropped down beside her and looked at Jack's pale dead-like countenance.

"Not necessarily."

"Major Carter is correct, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c lowered to his haunches and gripped Jack's neck, then shut his eyes and concentrated.

"Found it!" Sam announced taking out the vial of orange potion.

"I, too, sense life force." Teal'c smiled. "Two. One's barely stronger than the other. I believe they are in Kelnorim! There is little time."

"Sam!" Daniel shook his head as she examined the container's contents. "That's what's killing Bel´ju."

"And could save Jack!" She snapped open the vial. "It's a stimulant, Daniel."

"That is quite plausible." Teal'c propped Jack's limp head into an upright position.

"Sam?" Daniel was still not convinced.

"Jack would do the same for us." She stared beseechingly into her friend's blue eyes.

"Indeed." Teal'c pried Jack's stiff mouth open.

Reluctant, Daniel nodded and assisted Teal'c, tipping Jack's head back.

Sam pressed the open vial against Jack's lips.

"It barely touched his skin." Daniel had come full circle.

"Too much will kill him."

The men looked at her incredulously.

"Speaking with first hand experience, it is highly concentrated and is absorbed through the tissue. Besides if he lives, they'll need it to survive the withdrawal symptoms and for Janet to test for residual effects."

Jack's body began to lurch, his limbs flayed. Teal'c and Daniel held him down. Jack gasped and rolled his head sideways. His mouth opened and the symbiote slithered out of him onto the hull's floor, and then went flaccid.

Teal'c examined the symbiote. "Bel´ju is dead."

Jack gasped a breath and slumped against Teal'c.

"Colonel! Sir!" Out of her mind with fear, Sam clutched his jaw and twisted his face toward hers. "Dammit! So help me, Jack, you die on me and you'll never see that mole again!"

'_**Day ja view! Dorothy was swearing at him . . .again!' **_

Jack moaned. His shaking hands fumbled with Sam's tight warm grip on his face. She clenched his cold hands. Sighs resounded around him. His eyes fluttered open and focused on the coffee-skinned shaved head that occupied his blurred vision.

_Murray! _"Honey, I'm . . .home," he rasped.

"It is good to see you, O'Neill." Teal'c nodded.

Jack coughed and blood pooled at the corner of his mouth. He let go of Sam's hands, swiped at his lips and grimaced, then spotted Daniel. "Hey there, Space Monkey."

"Hi, Jack." Daniel let out a long held breath, grinned and handed over a handkerchief.

"Well, that went well." He smiled until his clouded gaze settled on the Tok´ra that had saved his and Sam's lives. "Crap!" he muttered.

"There's nothing we could have done, Jack. Bel´ju knew she was dying." Sam answered his unspoken question.

"Right." He felt her hands squeeze his. Disorientated, he turned his head until he found her smiling at him.

"You're hurt!" He touched the staff weapon burn on her arm.

"I'm fine," she murmured. When his worried gaze held her moist blue eyes, she tipped her head and snagged her lower lip.

"Let them go," he ordered gently.

"Sir?" She was shaking hard.

"Hail Dorothy, my courageous Major." Jack pushed upright, and tenderly brushed his thumbs along her warm wet cheeks. He barely noticed their friends quietly leave the cargo bay.

Slipping an arm around her, Jack urged, "C'mere."

She seized hold, and her fingers dug into the back of his tunic, searing his flesh. Jack clutched her shoulders and pulled her soft trembling body into his. Their bodies meshed as one. They always had. There was nothing he wouldn't do for this woman's love. He had almost died to hold her and would do it again. Lowering my head, he nuzzled the pliable warmth of her bare neck and kissed her while in his heart, he thanked the _Keeper of the Stars_. At last he was home!

"Daniel!"

The familiar brash CO bellow jerked Sam from a sound sleep. She awoke to find her pillow, Jack's chest, had vanished. Yawning, she couldn't believe they'd crashed on the hard cargo bay floor, instead of a private berth. A solar blanket covered her, no doubt Teal'c's handiwork. Daniel was rarely that thoughtful, she mused.

"Daniel, get your bony book-smart ass in here!"

Yep, things were back to normal. Sam smiled. Stretching her aching lower back, she pushed upright to find Jack a few feet away, holding his fatigues in one hand and a pair of Bugs Bunny boxers in the other.

Whoops!

"Hellooo, honeymooners." None-the wiser, Daniel poked his head into the open hatchway, looked at Sam and flashed a Jackson smile.

She grimaced and nodded toward Jack whose back was to her teammate.

"What'sup?"

Before her husband pivoted, Sam saw what Daniel didn't, Jack's lethal '_you die_' expression. She could easily save the linguist's hide, and then remembered everything he and Teal'c had put them through. Nope. She would sit back and enjoy the show. Wished she had a diet pop and popcorn.

"Care to enlighten me?" Jack swung around, flagging his BDU's as he stalked toward the younger man.

"Oh!" Daniel began to back away. "Wow, ya found them! Well that's great! Isn't it, Sam?" He sent a '_help!_' glance her way.

"Deal." She wagged a brow and smirked.

He made a mad dash out of the bay.

Winking at Sam, Jack dropped his clothes and went after Daniel. "Do you have any idea how it feels to have short, tight, pants riding up your crack for three days and no freaking pockets?"

"Noo. But, Jack, be reasonable!"

"Reasonable, Danny Boy? You don't wanna go there—I so own you!"

Ah, yes, another day at the office. Sam got to her feet, folded the blanket and after relieving herself, joined Teal'c at the helm. She settled in the co-pilot's seat, rubbed her eyes and finger combed her hair. She needed a shower, but that could wait. Sam flexed her bandaged arm then smiled at Teal'c, who nodded in accordance.

"Someone? Teal'c, help?" Daniel called out.

"I am presently indisposed, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c smiled at Sam.

"Sam, he's going to—"

"Can't hear you."

Jack swore! A lot!

Daniel yelped! A lot!

"So did you sleep well, Major?"

"Best in days." She grinned and stared out the helm's transom as they entered their familiar star system. Home was just two days away. Leaning back, she sighed in utter contentment.

Shuffling, scratching sounds emitted from one of the quarters. Dad's, Sam assumed.

"It was good to speak with General Hammond last night, was it not?"

"Sure was. Just don't know how much of this mission should go in our reports."

"See this, Danny?"

"It's a crapper!"

"Ah, but not just any crapper."

"O'Neill already spoke with Daniel and myself last night. We agreed not to mention the Colonel's transitory retirement or your wedding on Chulak. You can be confident that your clandestine marriage remains secure with us, Samantha Carter O'Neill."

"Thank you, Teal'c." She reached over and patted his forearm. "But I rather like the sound of Mrs. Jack O'Neill."

"Then you are confident in your own skin, Major?"

"Yep. During work I'm Major Carter, when I'm not—"

"Jack, you're not going to—You wouldn't dare!"

"Never dare a retired Colonel, Danny!"

"But—Argh!" Gurgling sounds followed.

Sam winced.

Teal'c smiled.

Daniel gasped and sputtered. The sound of spewing water made Sam's stomach flip. Her grin broadened.

"Ah, shit, Jack! I can't believe you did that!"

"Whatever it takes to make a believer out of you."

More gurgling, gagging, and . . .sputtering.

Wheezing.

Silence.

Jack ambled into the helm, nodded at them, entered the cargo bay, and then with Daniel's backpack and his BDU's he returned to his quarters.

"Payback by O'Neill is a bitch, Major Carter."

"Yeah sure yabetcha," She sighed, wondering if she should intervene. "You could be next, Teal'c."

"I highly doubt that." He smiled as if knowing something she did not.

"Me?" She gulped.

"I doubt that either."

"Good."

"Please, Jack? No!"

Sam heard the zat fire three times. That sent her to her feet. Teal'c followed. Piling into the close quarter's, Sam and Teal'c found Jack in his clean fatigues. Daniel wore Jack's soiled Tok´ra outfit, while the remains of Daniel's BDU's were well . . .vaporized.

Turning to them, Jack blew on the zat as if it was a colt forty-five and grinned. His brown eyes were lit up with childlike satisfaction and his dimples tucked deep along a crooked smile.

"Well, that went well." He assessed the situation and without a backward glance left the three of them gaping at his departure. Jack strolled toward the helm, whistling, "_That's what friends are for . . ._"

"I can't believe he did that!" Daniel slumped onto the lower berth.

"Dunked your head in the bidet and disintegrated your clothes?" Sam grinned at the linguist whose drenched brown hair plastered his brow.

"Heck no!" He removed his wet glasses to dry them. "He flushed my candy bars and worse, my specialty coffees down the toilet!"

CHAPTER ELEVEN   
We've been in this situation before, right? Nada! 

After two days onboard the Tel'tac dealing with Daniel's whining and snapping, Jack wished he'd kept some caffeine for backup. Daniel going cold turkey was no joyride. Teal'c and Sam had even threatened to strangle Jack, whose Hallmark moment got flushed down the crapper. Still, it had been worth it! Or, so he told himself. A lot.

Back at the SGC life returned to normal. Well almost. Daniel went a lot easier on his caffeine fixes. Sam and Jack suffered mild but annoying body tremors and sweats from withdrawal. Twenty-four hours later, Janet gave them a clean bill of health and settled into her lab to breakdown Nirrti's mind control drug.

Meanwhile, Hammond tried to contact Jacob that his Tel'tac was safely housed on the Alpha site, and about the unfortunate death of the Tok´ra operative, Bel´ju. To date, the Tok´ra had not responded. Hammond also kept Jack hopping. Every time he looked sideways the general demanded reports, and the stack of expensive equipment acquisitions be completed by the end of the week. Not to mention, helping Hammond select three new SG teams and putting his stamp of approval on several promotions within the SGC.

As for Sam and Jack, well, that wasn't as smooth a transition as he'd hoped. First thing, the wedding bands came off, each agreeing only to wear them in private.

Meanwhile the SG-1 cohorts did some fact swapping to make sure their reports jibed. Daniel and Teal'c took it all in stride. To ease his mind about their marriage, Jack engaged the mindset of his Black Ops days. What really happened and what got reported were often times diluted, a typical covert mission report. Sam, on the other hand, buried herself in her lab, slept on base and avoided Jack. He'd expected it. But didn't like it.

Jack requested Hammond give SG-1 some downtime. He got it! An entire ten days free and clear! He and Sam needed to figure out how they were going handle this change in their relationship. Especially how they planned to stay committed to their marriage and not break the regs. Jack remained open to alternatives to keep his lover satisfied. He just didn't know if his conservative Sam would be game. The first problem was he had to get her alone so they could talk. Issue being, the only conversations they had so far were work related. Yes sir, no sir, was annoying the crap out of him.

So, come Wednesday, the most important day of the workweek for them, when she failed to show for their scheduled, closet date, Jack had had enough. After waiting twenty minutes in the musty supply closet, he stalked into her lab to find her soldering an alien doohickey.

She didn't look up as he drummed his fingers in their personal code against the stainless steel counter, basically saying where the #! were you? Which further infuriated him.

"Forget what day it is, Carter?"

"No, Colonel." Sam lifted her safety glasses and glanced up as if surprised to see him.

"Oh." He scrunched his face and exhaled loudly.

"I sent you a memo." She waved at her pc.

"Don't read memos." He couldn't believe she'd used that lame excuse.

"Then maybe you should start, sir."

"The tree. 1900 hrs, Carter!"

"But, Colonel, sir, I'm trying to catch up on important work here." She gestured at her gadgets.

"Maybe you should reconsider your priorities, Major!" He didn't wait for her answer and marched out of her lab, cursing.

**1940 hours: Garden of the Gods National Park**

No Carter. Jack pulled out his cell phone, willing it to ring, and then glanced at his pager, neither had been activated in hours. Shoving to his feet, he brushed the snow off his numb butt and jammed his gloved hands into his jacket pockets. He was beyond mad, explosive was more like it, and more accurately, scared. He'd been revisiting their personal actions last week and much as he hated to admit it, he almost regretted their marriage, let alone its consummation. That's if there'd even been one. He'd had a brief but enlightening talk with Teal'c about the high quantity of love potion #9 he and Sam had ingested. He also knew Sam had spoken with Daniel.

Like Jack, Sam had not confided in their best friends as to whether or not the vows had been consummated. Besides, he and Sam knew there was no absolute they'd finished making love that night. Although, if they had made love, then what?

Jack took another pass at his cold damp jean bottoms. Daffy's tail feathers were freezing! When you live in the Rocky Mountains, snow is an option no matter what time of year. Late September and there were three fresh inches on the mountain. With just enough moonlight to plot his steps, he tramped through the periodic drifts to his truck a quarter mile outside the park's lands. Bad enough he was here after curfew. Then again, for four years he and Sam had managed not to get caught by the rangers or anyone else. Yeah, Kinsey and the NID would just love that tidbit. For that reason, they never parked in the same place twice.

When he spotted the dirt road and his lone truck, Jack halted. A shadow slithered around to the passenger side of his truck's cab. His pistol locked in the glove compartment, Jack doubled back rationalizing it could be a wild animal. While a series of clouds drifted across the pale moon, he made his move. "Raise your hands and step away from the vehicle," he ordered, waving the penlight Janet had given him on April Fool Day. Jack felt ridiculous.

"Intending to pistol-whip me with your pen, sir?" Sam stepped out of the darkness, chaffing her bare hands and blowing on them.

"Crap, Carter!" Jack flicked off the light and sniffed in relief.

'Sorry, I'm late." She jammed her hands into her pockets and approached him.

They met halfway with several feet separating them. Neither ventured closer. Jack watched the whiffs of Sam's hot breath dot the air between them.

"I've got a pager and cell," he punctuated, annoyed. He wanted to kiss her so bad he could taste her lips.

"I know." She made no excuse, which he respected.

Chilled to the bone, he stalked by her, climbed into his truck, turned on the ignition and heat. Sam followed at a slower pace, hesitating at the passenger side.

Jack rolled down her window. "Unless you intend freezing your hinny off, I suggest you get in!" He yanked off his gloves and chaffed his cold thighs. He was so close to losing it! Losing her. Jack's gut hurt something fierce.

Sam complied and slammed the door shut. She wore the mid-length leather jacket he'd bought her last Christmas, black jeans and hiking boots. And yet his genius officer, failed to wear a hat or gloves.

"How long ya, been here?" He removed his black cap and jammed it over her blond hair until it covered her red earlobes. Darn, if she didn't looked sexy wearing it.

"A while." She shivered, sticking her hands between her slender thighs and closing them to warm her hands. An erotic memory flashed through Jack's head, but he tossed it. They had more serious issues than sex to discuss.

"Where'd you park?"

"Car wouldn't start again. Came by cab and hiked in?"

"That's nuts, Carter! Why didn't you call?"

Not answering, she sniffed her dripping nose. The cold air made his nose leak too. He reached behind the seat, pulled a handful of tissues from a box and handed them over, then used one himself.

Sam blew into the tissue, sounding like a foghorn.

"Sorry."

"Glad you got that out of your system." He hid a smirk. When he looked back she was hugging herself and staring out the window. It had begun to snow. He was not going to touch her, take her in his arms, warm her chilled lush body with his hot one, stroke her frost tinted cheeks, kiss her shivering lips. Nope. He was so not going to do that.

_Ah, what the h— _"C'mere." He draped an arm over her trembling shoulders, but she didn't oblige him.

Sam turned and looked up, mouth quivering she shook her head.

"So you don't want me to hold you?" Puzzled, he dropped his arm.

"Yeees." She shivered.

"Excellent." He inched closer cursing the bucket seats.

"You must hate me." She looked at her lap.

"Huh?" He cupped her cold chin and lifted it until they were eye-to-eye. "Sam, I feel a lot of things for you but hate isn't even on my short list."

She attempted a smile, glanced away and drew a breath.

Well, this sucked!

"Look, the last while has been a roller-coaster ride and I admit we've had some bad days. I need to know you're okay, especially after blending with Bel'ju."

"I'm fine. Some flashes now and then but nothing like I experienced with Jolinar. Apparently, Bel'ju meant it what she said, that she didn't blend with us. And you?"

"Just peachy." Jack shot her an edgy smile.

"I'm sorry you had to experience that."

"Makes two of us." He shuddered.

A burdened moment divided them. Sam toyed with the radio and then his CD player. Whitney Houston began singing . . .

'Where do broken hearts go. . .'

He saw her stunned expression. "Got it on instant replay," he muttered, realizing she knew what a sap he could be.

She turned down the volume, but hummed softly to their song. Her left hand found his and still they didn't look at each other. It was then he felt the cold diamond graze his palm. Jack's heart did a double flip.

"Ja—"

"Sam," he interrupted.

"You, first." She gestured with a nod.

"Okay, but before we talk about anything else, we've gotta get one thing cleared up."

"Sure." She met his flat expression with one of trepidation.

"Samantha, are you still in love with me?"

Her chin tensed in his tender touch. He felt her swallow, watched her baby blues close and then open. Her cool, slender fingers gripped his wrists, holding on tight. Jack's heart slammed against his chest. He feared what she was about to say.

"Of course, I love you. You're my husband."

"Husband?" his voice cracked.

"Yes. So are you still in love with me?" she sounded less confident.

"Yeah sure yabetcha!" He kissed her red-tipped nose and rained kisses across her chilled cheeks inching toward the arch of her neck.

"You regret marrying me?" Her fingers enveloped his left hand as she touched his wedding band and flinched.

Dumbfounded, Jack halted mid-kiss, pulled back and gaped. "Excuse me?"

"I asked if—"

"Wow!" He flagged both hands. "Time out!" He was irked. "I don't regret anything, Samantha Carter O'Neill, let alone marrying you!"

"O'Neill will do." She smiled softly. "And you don't?"

"No! And just why would you think otherwise?"

"Well, you've been avoiding me all week."

"Was not. Hammond had me chained to my desk."

"You found your desk?" she quipped.

"Funny." He frowned. "Besides, you're the one avoiding me. Been buried in your lab, sleeping on base, missed our closet date."

"I skipped our meeting because, well, I didn't think you'd show."

"Well, I did. Just coz we're married doesn't mean we stop doing what we did before. In fact I think it will help if we just went on like before, with a few exceptions of course."

"Like?"

"Like you not hanging out with Felger twenty-four seven."

"Hey, I know you're not fond of him, but he is brilliant."

"He's an idiot, Sam! And dangerous. One of these times he's going to blow something up."

"Like you should talk, Mr. TNT!"

"I mean it. Got this gut feeling about him and you know how right my gut aches are."

"Yes, well Jay's just enthusiastic about getting hired on by the SGC."

Jack snorted.

"Beside he had over ten projects for me to sign off on. Four of which, defy the law of physics, but he insisted explaining them. Worse, three made me jealous. The guy's way smarter than me."

"Doubt that. Besides he's got a crush on you."

"You're kidding!" Her kissable mouth dropped open.

"Geez, Carter." Jack rolled his eyes. "The guy trips over his tongue and feet every time you're in his range of vision."

"You jealous?" Sam blushed in the soft moonlight.

"Should I be?" He eased his arm around her waist and drew her close.

"I'm a married woman, sir. And despite the fact he's a puppy dog, Doctor Jay Felger isn't my type."

"So what is your type?" Jack tugged his cap off her head, ruffled her hair and flicked the tip of his tongue into her ear.

"Whoa!" A sexy rumble vibrated from the back of her throat. Sam slid deeper into his embrace. "Got the hots for my CO, but he's married."

"Nice. If it's any comfort, I feel the same about my 2IC."

"So what you suggest we do about it?" She clutched his jacket front and turned into him.

"This." When their lips met, Jack swore to hear angels sing. "I want to make love to you, Sam, and this time I wanna remember."

Sam went rigid in his arms.

Dang! He eased back and winced.

"You don't remember?"

"Well I'm just saying—sort of . . ." Heck he didn't know what he was saying.

"You really don't remember if you . . .if we?" She gestured between them.

"Nada." He sighed out then glanced beneath his lashes at her. "And you?"

"No." She turned in her seat taking her hands with her. "I mean, I recall groping, kissing." Her hand returned to his right thigh and higher. She extracted a groan from him. "Oh, I definitely remember seeing and feeling," she counted down her choices. "Daffy Duck." She winked.

"Hey, you got x-ray vision?"

"Nope. Just got you figured out is all."

"Well that's good, right?" He so hoped she'd say yes.

"Good, yes. But I don't recall you actually, well, ya know?"

"Oh, yeah. I know." He winced.

"Now what?" She returned her hands to her lap.

Jack's gaze followed with another erotic image. Oy!

"I could retire."

"Jack!"

"Well, I'm just saying, I mean it's possible . . . I still have the one Daniel notarized."

She gave her, '_don't be nuts_' look.

"Yeah, see your point." Jack scrubbed his face.

"We are so screwed." Sam exhaled.

"Oy!"

"Sorry, bad word choice."

"You can say that again." He inched over and eased his arm around her. She rested her head on his shoulder and yawned.

"She wasn't there you know."

"Who?"

"Bel´ju. When we were or weren't making love."

Jack glanced down. "You know that for certain?"

"Yeah. Heru'ur took me when you were in the shower. By the time you came out, he'd brought us back."

"Then you didn't fight the blending?"

"No. He was going to hand you over to Apophis."

"You would have died for me."

"And you for me."

"I'd die for anyone. But there's only one person I want to live for, Samantha O'Neill, that's you."

"I know. Same here." She gazed up, her glistening blue eyes revealing a love so powerful, so divine, he felt unworthy of her. Before their lips brushed, Jack realized he had to address one more issue.

As if aware of his intention, Jack felt Sam tremor against him.

"Babe, until one of us leaves SG-1 we shouldn't make—"

"I know." She put a delicate finger to his parted lips.

"And you're okay with that, I mean?" He sure wasn't.

"No. But we are tough soldiers, flyboy. We'll do what we need to, right?"

"If you say so, Major."

"And as soon as we've rid the galaxy of the smarmy snakeheads I and one permanently retired Colonel O'Neill will go fishing and make babies."

Jack grinned at how Sam sounded like the exuberant wide-eyed captain who'd waltzed into the briefing room four years ago and turned a table of Air Force officers into babbling mush.

"And then . . ."

"Carter?"

"Sir?"

"Shut up!"

"Make me!"

He did.

CHAPTER TWELVE

'You gotta be kidding. . . Again!' 

Three weeks later:

October 20th

Level 19: Carter's Lab

"Hey, Carter!" Jack scratched his head and strolled into her lab. "Brought Jell-O and coffee." He set the tray on her work counter and made the rounds.

No Carter to be had. Oh, well. She'd show eventually, after all they had a scheduled meeting. He was supposed to sign off new equipment requisitions Sam couldn't live without. And it was Jack's weekend to baby sit the SGC, which usually meant minimal staff, peace and quiet. Well, nothing was written in stone around here. So far the weekend proved uneventful. Teal'c was on Chulak trying to recruit more Jaffa to join the resistance. Daniel was buried in his books somewhere on or off base. While Carter, the workaholic that she was, kept him company without a complaint. Then again that's what married couples did, right? Not to mention they had a real date tonight. Well, he hoped so. After all, it was his birthday and their one-month wedding anniversary. Sam said she had a surprise. Jack grinned, then mellowed. He knew what he wanted and also knew he so wasn't getting it. Sam wrapped up in a bow, naked. Yeah, now that would be some birthday present.

He couldn't believe how terrific things were between them. Yes, he could. It'd been great since the Halloween ball. Now it was fantastic. And when the day came they could go public and more importantly make love for real it would be awesome!

Meanwhile, they'd settled into a routine, which meant they played their CO and 2IC roles on base and off world like always. They had their numeric and letter codes down pat, not to mention their expressions. It was so perfect Jack often pinched himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

Work-wise, they disagreed and bickered like usual, but with an extra spark to fuel that fire. All bets were off. Not sleeping together had improved. They'd learned to deal with being apart at night for half the week but made up for it off world, when, it was only Teal'c and Daniel in tow. Jack swore Hammond was onto them as he'd been assigning new teams to off world assignments with SG-1. Yeah, those missions sucked.

Their intimate love life well, that was still on hold. They knew if they caved in, they'd lose respect for each other and then there was Sam's career. Jack wouldn't do anything to jeopardize her future aspirations. They'd agreed to not kiss, make-out, or make love. Well, so they occasionally blew the kissing and make-out rule, but someone always stopped before they went too far.

The major issue was a security breech. With Kinsey and the NID out to burn the SGC, phone conversations and pc's were monitored, let alone any other means of communication. They were even leery about Post-It-Notes.

Regarding mutual sexual frustrations, well, after much enjoyable experimentation, they found something doable. Sam had no qualms about their unconventional form of lovemaking. When not together, they set a specific time when they fantasized about making love. This proved freaky when they compared notes. They most often knew exactly how the other felt and when each had the big O. The other solution was more intimate. With the Asgard technology, Sam rigged two advanced Walkie Talkies. He and Sam verbally made love bringing each other to that euphoric high they could not physically indulge in. Sure, it wasn't perfect. But Jack always wore a goofy smile afterward, not to mention after their dawn wakeup calls. He was sure Hammond wondered why Carter had rosy cheeks at their early morning briefings. Wouldn't he like to know?

Yeah!

Jack stretched and yawned. For almost ten minutes, he played with his yoyo, switched to his Game Boy and then strolled the lab. With Sam's magnifying glass, his gaze fastened on one of her newest alien doohickeys. He'd been itching to try it out. Apparently, it could elevate a person or object up to a ton. Way cool! He reached for it and encountered a sticky note. _'Hands off, Colonel!'_

"Geez." He pulled back and looked for something else. He found a few shiny baubles and began to juggle them. When one grew hot to the touch, Jack quickly set them back. It was then he noticed her pc flickering and an open document. He assumed it was one of Carter's techno babble reports. He grabbed his bowl of red Jell-O, shoved in his fork and then filled his mouth. With one suspicious eye, Jack glanced back at Sam's laptop. When his brain recognized two syllable words, he dropped onto his favorite stool and pulled up to the screen.

'_Sam's Diary: Personal entry.'_

"Okay, Jack, time to walk away and—"

'. . . So he swaggers into the control room wearing his faded, yellow, polo shirt and those tangerine colored kaki's he talked me into buying him the week before, well, probably months ago now that I put things in perspective. Man, oh, man, I can't believe he's wearing them, here! He looks like a neon sign!'

"Hey! Orange is your favorite color!" Gulping Jell-O, he continued to read.

'Anyway, he also has on that flea bitten black, knit cap I keep tossing and he keeps digging out of the locker room garbage. Has it jammed halfway over his ears and his eyebrows— Again. Will the man ever learn how to wear a ski cap? Like he's trying to burrow under it or something. He looks so dorky! Sheesh!'

"Dorky?" Jack took a swig of coffee and fumed.

So, he has a military form with him and I figure whatcha know, he actually finished a report on time!

He glances at his watch and then at Hammond.

Well, I'm curious.

Then again, Jack loves jerking Hammond's chain.

"Give it to the man," he crows all the time.

"Do not!"

Yeah, right! Like we don't have enough problems trying to get out of this freaking time loop and my CO's playing hooky—again! Sometimes, I just want to slap him stupid! Someday, he's going to be the 'man'. I can't wait for someone to dish it back.

_Oh, umm, where was I? _

"_Colonel, what are you doing out of uniform?" asks Hammond._

"_Handing in my resignation, George." Which he does. _

_Speechless, Hammond looks at the paper then at Jack. _

_Retired! Well, I am beyond curious. Annoyed is more the point! So I walked up and ask, "Sir, what are doing?" _

_He grabs me, dips me and kisses me!_

_Can you believe the nerve of this Irish ass?'_

"Geez, Carter!" Jack was no longer hungry. His gut pitched.

Of course, I can't resist a stolen, illegal; pull one over on Carter kiss. So I slip my arm around him and kiss him back. Kissed him stupid, if I recall. Deep throated him with my tongue until he—'

"What?" Jack scrolled down the page, finding it blank and began hitting keys, wanting to know what else Carter thought and had said about him during that stolen kiss!

"And then she wrote it all up and waited for the underhanded, sneaky, conniving, cantankerous, irreverent, jackass to take the bait and choke on it!"

"Oh!" Jack gulped and looked up.

Sam stepped out of the shadows and swiped her ID card for the lab door's release. Jack watched it close. Sealing his fate. He spotted the zat in her hand.

_Crap!_ He bolted off the stool and back-stepped from her desk. His eyes shot to the camera. "Major, might I remind you that we are under surveillance?"

"It's offline, sir. No camera. No sound. No witnesses." She walked forward, flicked off the safety. The zat's barrel lifted into place.

"Carter." He glanced around for a means of escape. "You aren't serious?" Not that he thought she was, unless she wasn't really Carter.

"If you say so, Colonel." She wasn't smiling.

"Look, I can explain. In fact, I had every intention to tell you." His hands started directing traffic.

"When?"

"Eventually. In time—"

"When we were in rocking chairs in a nursing home?" She advanced, forcing him back between two shelves of equipment.

"Well . . . no, not that long. Just," he hit a wall and surrendered. "When I knew you could no longer use one of those, legally." He laughed.

She didn't.

"Strip!" She waved the zat.

"Huh?"

"You heard!" Sam was less than three feet away.

"Carter, I am not playing this revenge game any longer!"

"Jack?" her voice turned silky and she lowered the zat.

"What?" He so didn't trust her.

"If you take off your clothes, I'll take off mine." She began to hike her black t-shirt from her waist.

"Um, and then what?"

"I get to play touch football with Porky Pig." She waggled her brows and smiled seductively.

Jack gulped. Oh, yeah, that could be fun. Especially since there had been no 'touchdowns' since they got married. Then again . . . "I'm not wearing Porky and we agreed no more hanky panky." He wagged a reprimanding finger. "We're Unites States Air Force Officers and this is so against regul—

With one swoop, Sam slipped her t-shirt over her head. She wasn't wearing a bra!

Dang! This was unfair. His mouth ajar, Jack stared at what he'd not had privy to in weeks and wasn't supposed to for a very, very long time. The twins beckoned him.

"Drop 'em, sir!"

"Yeah. Okay!" He unhitched his belt, not taking his eyes of his goal, goals. "But first you got to tell me how you knew something only I knew that you couldn't know because you weren't there to know."

"Certainly." She started listing it off as if prerecorded. "Heru'ur didn't realize Bel´ju was dying. When you were knocked unconscious by the pain stick, he decided to prove he meant to kill you if I didn't cooperate. Bel´ju's original female host had died months before. She could only ingest the portion through a host. Meanwhile, Heru'ur's had a limited number of female Lotar whom had died as Bel´ju's hosts. As his Horus guards had symbiotes, he couldn't afford to lose them. So, he—"

"Stuffed the snake down my throat," Jack finished with distain.

"Yeah." She still held the zat on him.

"I thought something had happened but couldn't remember." He scratched his neck and flinched.

Sam came closer and provided a better view.

Jack tried to keep his eyes on her face, but failed. Oy!

"Bel´ju promised she'd leave you soon as she'd taken the potion. She said because she hadn't blended with you, you wouldn't remember anything. However, she did merge with you long enough to know some of the more recent events in your life."

"Ah hah, the time loop and my stolen kiss."

"Yes," Sam's voice was firmer, harder. So was a particular part of his wife's anatomy. Twin peaks!

"Which she shared with you? That snake in the grass!"

"I don't think that's what she'd intended. But when you forced her to leave me, she hadn't time to erase what experiences or thoughts she didn't want me to remember."

"Umm, I'm so sorry, Sam." He offered a hand as peace offering almost touching her.

"Oh, I know that." She eluded him and waved the zat. "And just to show I've forgiven you, I got you a birthday present."

"Really?" He smirked when she handed over a gift bag, complete with white tissue paper and large peridot colored bow.

Reaching inside Jack extracted his gift. His eyes bugged out and he gaped at her. "You gotta be kidding!"

"Me kid? Never! Revenge is a dessert best served cold, sir. So strip! Now!"

"Yeee-ah sure yabetcha." Jack bent over untying his boots, praying for heavenly intervention. Somehow, he figured God enjoyed this way too much.

'**Is there a chill in here or what?' **

Jack stepped into the elevator willing, praying for it to not stop until it reached level twenty-five. He needed to get to the men's locker room. Four more floors to go and . . .Ah crap! Level Twenty! One freaking floor! The elevator stopped. The door opened.

Doctor Janet Fraiser stepped in, looked at Jack, opened her mouth, hit the close button and smiled.

"So help me, Doc, you say one word, I'll—"

"My needles are bigger than Homer," squeaked from her lips, and she covered her mouth.

"Funny." His back to the wall, Jack kept both hands over his crotch and stared at the blinking floor lights, willing the ancient elevator to speed up. There were a dozen facetious remarks he wanted to shoot back at Fraiser, but he hated her needles. He also assumed the Napoleonic warmonger was in on Sam's revenge. Not that Janet knew the reason for Sam's retribution, just, that, his present state of humiliation was such a Janet ruse.

Jack felt her staring. Donning his best intimidating CO face, he glared back. She cleared her throat and began to hum the Simpson theme. He was so close to strangling a fellow officer.

"Um, happy birthday, Colonel."

He snorted.

Janet grinned.

The elevator stopped.

Level twenty-one.

Whoopee! Jack held his breath. Shut his eyes. When he opened them, Siler was gawking.

"Up, Sparky?" Jack groused as Janet launched herself past him and out of sight, laughing.

"Apparently you're not, Colonel." The sergeant snickered at Homer's smiling face, turned and walked off. "Oh, and happy birthday, sir."

"So help me!" Jack swore and punched the button. If he made it to the locker room and got dressed without running into any brass, he would kiss Carter stupid. He couldn't believe after what she'd done—was doing to him on his birthday no less! He wanted to kiss her and a whole lot more. A silly grin slithered across his face.

The elevator stopped on level twenty-three. _What was this, a major conspiracy? Well that's cliché, Jack. _

The door opened.

Daniel! Without even glancing at him, the bookworm slid his pass for level 25 and returned his attention to an open book.

"Daniel," Jack muttered from his corner.

"Um, what, Jack?"

"Notice anything strange?"

Daniel glanced over, looked at Jack and shrugged. "Yeah, didn't know you could get Homer in a thong. Hey, when'd you give up boxers? Like don't those ride up your—"

Jack glared.

"Sam?" Daniel grimaced, looking over his glasses.

"Ya think?"

The elevator rumbled to a stop.

"Give me your shirt wilya?"

"Ah, nope. Still suffering from caffeine withdrawal." Daniel snorted. "Hey, you know most guys your age got love handles. You don't. Hope I'm so lucky when I'm that old—"

"Danny."

"A word of advice."

"Shut up!"

"Fuchsia's not your color, kinda washes you out." Daniel gave him an over all icky look.

Furious, Jack shifted to jump his best friend and snatched the book instead.

Level twenty-five!

The door opened.

"Colonel O'Neill!"

Jack's jaw hung ajar and failed to shut. Hammond was supposed to be in Washington!

"Sir?" he finally choked-out holding the book over his crotch, realizing his butt was naked as a babe's.

Daniel made a beeline past Hammond, who never took his eyes off Jack. Jack couldn't remember seeing the general's blue eyes that dark or his baldhead that red.

"What is the meaning of this?" The Texan waved a hand at Jack's bare necessities.

"Um, well, got locked out of my quarters, sir."

"In your skivvies?"

"Well, yes, it's actually quite funny. Ya see—"

"Colonel!"

"Yes, sir?" Jack saluted with the book.

"Get out of that elevator and get dressed!"

"Yes, sir. Right away, sir." Jack backed out, holding the book over his butt.

"And if I ever see you wearing non-regulations skivvies again, there will be hell to pay!"

"Yes. Of course, General, sir!"

Jack raced into the locker room and breathed a sigh of relief.

George smirked and entered the elevator laughing his head off. Carter had told him she was preparing payback for a prank her CO had pulled on her while off world. George had given his blessing. The only thing, she'd mentioned was it would involve Homer Simpson. Now he knew why. Shaking his head, he couldn't help wonder just what Jack had done to the Major to endure such wrath, on his birthday no less.

Then again, maybe he could.

Ten minutes later, Jack secured a bath towel around his waist and opened his locker. He reached for his extra skivvies only to find a Post-it-Note. '_You agreed to wear it all day!'_

"Geez, Carter!" He scrunched up the note and took out his blue BDU's. Five minutes later he was dressing a boot and wincing as the string rode up his rear end.

The claxon siren went off!

"Attention, all personal, off world activation. Unauthorized, incoming worming hole!" A skipped beat, "Foothold Sierra Golf Charlie. Repeat, Foothold Sierra Golf Charlie. This is not a drill!"

"For cryin' out loud!" Jack dropped his booted foot and ran from the locker room. Corridor doors were shutting down. Lights flickered and the emergency lightening kicked in. As he approached the sealed Gate Room, an SF handed Jack a P90 and zat. Jack released the safety, spotting Major Ferretti at the sealed door.

"What we got, Ferretti?"

"Re'tu, Colonel. Six of them."

"That's impossible!"

"Yeah well, they walked right through the shield this time."

Frowning, Jack took a head count. He had fourteen armed SF's. "Control Room?"

"Locked down, sir," Siler approached with his weapon locked and loaded.

"Any personnel in here?" Jack indicated the Gate Room.

"They've got Carter," Ferretti informed him.

"Okay. Don't fire until I give the signal." He took point and motioned the SF to scan his security card.

The Gate Room door slid open. His P90 aimed Jack took a few cautious steps into the dark room and signaled Ferretti and Siler.

Before Jack could react, the gut ache hit him.

"Surprise!" voices rang out, "Happy birthday, Colonel O'Neill!"

The lights went on.

A light flashed in Jack's astounded face. Daniel's freaking Polaroid camera!

Jack lowered his weapons. The room was filled with people, lots of people. In the midst General Hammond, Daniel, Janet, Cassandra and Carter stood around a huge sheet cake with way too many candles. Colorful streamers and balloons hung from the rafters. Jack felt like he was seven instead of forty-eight.

"Happy birthday, Jack." Ferretti slapped him hard across the shoulders. "Don't ya just love this place?"

Slack-jawed, Jack staggered from the brotherly swat as Siler sheepishly took his P90. "Oh, yeah, just peachy." He feigned a smile, chanting silently, _'Carter's dead, Carter's dead. . !'_

The SF's, airmen and airwomen who'd escorted Jack, congratulated him and joined the rest of the SGC staff and teams who'd managed to show for the party.

Jack stalked toward his people. Before he could say something sarcastic, Hammond came up and shook his hand. "Happy birthday, son."

"Thank you, sir." Jack forged a smile.

"It's been a rough few months, especially for you, Jack, so when your team pointed out you had a birthday this weekend, I decided it was as good an excuse as any to throw a party for the SGC."

"So I was your lame duck, sir?" he felt a real smile creep across his face. Yeah, that he could handle.

"Actually it was Major Carter's suggestion. She said you love surprises."

"Oh, she did, huh?" Jack glared at Daniel who looked smug and Janet who glanced at her shoes smiling.

Walter walked up and distracted the General. He nodded and turned to Jack. "If you'll excuse me."

"Certainly, sir." Jack exhaled and turned on his friends. "You know I hate surprises!"

"Yep." Janet nodded none too seriously.

"Where is she?"

"Serving punch." Daniel pointed out eagerly.

Jack spotted Sam with a tray of filled plastic glasses. When she engaged his gaze, she grinned. Jack delivered his '_you're dead_,' glint and then was interrupted.

"Happy birthday, Dad." Cassandra flung herself at him.

Dad! Yeah that had taken some getting used to. About five seconds. Cassie had begun calling Jack, uncle and then one day Dad in front of his team and Janet. Jack gently corrected her, but then realized she'd done it intentionally and with a need only he could fill.

"Hey, there, Sunshine." He whisked her up into his arms enjoying the love she gave him. Cassandra accepted Jack for who he was with no expectations, even though, she had him on a pedestal he repeatedly tumbled off of. More important, she considered him dad. And despite the fact there was nothing romantic between him and doc, he thought of Cassandra as his daughter.

In regards to the dad issue, Janet, Jack and Sam had talked it out. After consulting Doctor Mackenzie, they agreed to let Cassie call Jack whatever she wanted. He knew that at times it was hard on Sam. She'd really wanted to adopt Cassie herself. Now four years later, Cassandra was coming into her own and her need for a good male role model seemed stronger than ever. Jack had regretted not acting upon his paternal instincts sooner with her, but it had all worked out.

Whenever Janet needed a father's advice or straight intervention Jack got the call. Best of all, many of those calls came straight from Cassandra. When Jack was on earth, not a day went by when they didn't talk or hangout, even if for a meal and most often with Sam.

"Glad you came, Cass." He brushed her long brown hair from her eyes and grinned, loving her.

"Me too. Not mad are, ya?" The gangly fifteen-year held onto him as if she were eleven again.

"Now why'd you think that?" He arched his brows as her arms hugged his neck.

"Coz, you hate being surprised." Two sets of brown eyes locked and held the others knowingly.

"Guess I'll make an exception, especially if it includes my favorite girl." He kissed her forehead.

"Ya mean Sam?" she murmured as he walked them away from the crowd and settled on a folding chair providing some privacy.

Jack grimaced. Nothing got past Cassandra. Jack and Sam had been denying her insinuations for years, but it didn't detour or discourage the teenager from making her point as often as possible.

"I meant you." He blew a raspberry against her cheek, extracting a giggle from the other girl in his life.

"Way cool! But you should go thank your _'other'_ girl." She motioned to where Sam reloaded the empty tray. "She's worried about how you'd react."

"Ah." He nodded, rearranging her on his lap. The motion caused the dang thong to ride higher. "Well, she has reason to." He winked. "But I'll go easy on her."

"You do that," she whispered conspiratorially. "Coz she loves you, Dad."

"Says who?" He glanced Sam's way.

"Straight from the horse's mouth," she snickered. "Don't worry. I know about the freaking regs and still think they suck, especially where you two are concerned."

"Hey, hey, watch your mouth, young lady."

Cassandra dismissed his discipline and rolled her eyes. "You guys need to do something about it and soon. I'm not getting any younger ya know."

Her remark caused him to grin. Jack wanted to share the truth, but couldn't. "I'd like nothing better but for now, things have to stay the way they are, Sunshine."

"Fine. Fine." She pouted.

Jack delivered his paternal '_hey chill_' look.

The teen traced the cleft of Jack's jaw, and then the one in her chin. "Um, we really could pass as father and daughter, you know."

"Yep we could." Jack dismissed her reference to their physical similarities, but had long been aware of them.

"So we going fishing next weekend?" she asked eagerly.

"Sure are." He chuckled and hugged her tighter, feeling life couldn't get much sweeter yet knowing it could, if this beautiful girl was his daughter for real. So many children had come and gone in Jack's life and still he hadn't one to truly call his own, besides Charlie, who now sang with the saints at God's throne. His heart lurched as he thought about the others.

His and Sam's Re'tu Charlie, who had to remain with the Tok'ra and was Tok'ra. Jack had yet to like that fact, but it kept Charlie alive and for that he remained grateful. Maybe in time, he and Sam could be parents to the boy in the true sense of the word and get to know the lab created son, that possessed both their genes.

Sweet Merrin, who didn't remember him, but they were making headway. Yeah. And however unfair, he had Cassandra. Sam had Cassandra. That was something good, right? Someday God willing, he and Sam would have their own brood of O'Neill's.

Jack's heart twisted sharply. _Heck, you're forty-eight going on a hundred, way too old to become a new dad._ The heartache he kept buried squirmed to the surface, but he dropkicked it back in place. He was good at that. Yeah.

"Dad?" Cassandra yanked his dog tags.

"Sorry, Sunshine, the old mind wandered off base." He pressed a convincing grin.

"Noticed." She finger combed his undisciplined hair like Sam would. "Hey, I bought this shiny new lure that will wine and dine that big old bass right into my net."

"Ya think?" He chuckled.

"Double Pepperoni Pizza or nothing." She giggled.

"You're on."

She planted a warm kiss on his cheek and asked softer, "Dad?" She wiggled further into his embrace, nuzzling his blue-shadowed jaw.

"What?" He knew her '_I want_' tone. If he kept giving into her, he'd have to refinance his house!

"I love, mom, really I do. She's wonderful, but I feel like if you and Sam were my full-time parents, things would be different. I know we'd be happy together, really."

Jack's jaw loosened. _Oh, here we go again!_ He looked into the youth's golden brown eyes. It was weird how he saw so much of Sam in this alien child. Little things, like the way she tilted her head, flayed her hands at her hips when mad, and lately the Turtledove chin tuck. No doubt, gestures picked up from hanging with Sam. But sometimes like now, he swore even her voice and attitude were Carter's. Yeah, this wise, beautiful girl he so often wished was his own, had him lock, stock and barrel, just like Sam.

He cleared his throat and tried to be firm. Another thing he found difficult to do with Cassandra and she knew it. So did everyone else.

"Cass, we've talked this talk before. First off, Janet loves you more than life and so discussing it with her present is not polite. Secondly, our jobs are dangerous. We're off world more than we're home. Living with Janet, you have normalcy and routine. It's important too—"

She sighed out and did that Sam chin thingy and then fanned her lashes. _Dang!_ He'd been hoodwinked. "Okay spill. What won't Janet buy you?"

Cassandra worried his dog tags. "See there's this blue mini-skirt outfit at the mall that is like so cool—"

"Nah ah!" He attempted to ease out of her tangled web of arms and legs and failed. "I don't buy mini anything, let alone for you, Sunshine! If I had my way, you'd be wearing baggy sweats and a baseball cap the rest of your life!"

"But, Dad?" she bellyached, refusing to relent.

"No butts, Cass!" He glanced up to find Sam and Janet facing them with broad grins.

"See she's test-driving the mini-skirt line on you, sir." Janet snickered and then gave Cassandra a reprimanding glint.

"Sorry." She sighed against his jaw.

"No you're not." He smirked and affectionately pushed her off his lap, slapping her behind, recalling the two years ago when he had really walloped her butt for smoking in his spare bedroom. She'd cried and called his large hands lethal weapons. Yeah, that's when she realized Jack took his fatherly role seriously. To his knowledge she'd not smoked since.

"I love you bunches." She winked.

"Ditto." He chuckled shaking his head.

"Hey, now that I got my driving temps we have a behind the wheel date Tuesday. And . . . Ya still owe me a trip to the mall, '_Dad_.'" She smirked and sauntered off with Janet.

"Yes, Ma'am." He gave her a sloppy salute and laughed. "Teaching her to drive is going to be scarier than fighting replicas," he groused to Sam.

"Tell me about it." She grinned in Cassandra's direction. "Glad we're all taking turns."

"Yeah." He stood up and looked at Sam, who conveniently shoved a glass of punch in his free hand, while he jammed the other in his pocket to keep from touching her.

"So." He pursed his lips and tipped his head toward the cake and decorations. "You've been a busy camper, Major."

"Slow weekend." She smiled and sipped her punch, avoiding his gaze. By the bloom on her cheeks, Jack sensed she worried that she'd professionally overstepped her bounds. No doubt with anyone else, she would have. Considering what he'd done to her, he was surprised she hadn't just zapped him. It'd been a lot easier.

"Yeah." He surveyed the Gate Room. "Tight fit . . .getting everyone in here," he said with dual meaning and swiveled his hips bumping hers slightly.

"Too tight?" She eyeballed him with a smirk.

"Let's just say, I'll never complain about Doc checking my prostate again."

Her blues flashed with mirth before she turned back to survey the gathering. Jack did the same. Hearing the laughter, seeing the smiling faces of folks he spent most of his time with felt good. Whether they were here for him or the cake didn't matter. It was good being Jack O'Neill; it was good to be alive. Yeah, he was blessed beyond measure and couldn't help send a prayer heavenward. _Thanks!_

"You're welcome," the familiar voice resounded in his heart. 

Glancing around he spotted Cassandra and Janet hugging and laughing, Siler and Walter discussing something, no doubt hockey scores with Ferretti. Daniel and Felger were debating . . . whatever. Jack watched his best buddy wave his hands about like he was directing traffic. Um, someone else he knew did that, but couldn't recall whom. Didn't Daniel know how lame that looked? Geez!

He wished Teal'c was here, but knew what he was doing was far more important. Recruiting for the Jaffa Resistance on Chulak might backfire. Jack hadn't felt good about the one-man mission from the start. They had twenty hours before Teal'c's scheduled return. Trouble was Apophis' spies were everywhere. Jack relied on two things for his friend's safety, Teal'c uncanny instincts and wisdom, and God. _Please watch over T?_

Meanwhile, Jack tried not to think about whether or not Heru'ur had made it out alive. No doubt, chrome dome had. Those cursed snakeheads had the best luck and lot of lives. Jack's worst fear was that Apophis and Heru'ur would make some sort of compromise. That could be darn right ugly. Two united egomaniacs. Peachy!

Jack stole a glance at his 2IC. The main reason he felt blessed. She was here and he decided to appreciate every moment they had, no matter how it was given to them. Besides what went into their reports, they'd yet to discuss their experiences with Bel´ju sifting through the onion layers of their memoirs. Even in the interim the Tok´ra had occupied Jack's head, he'd learned things about Sam he assumed she'd rather he not know. And clearly, the same had happened with the few recollections Bel´ju had accessed during her first blending with him.

Still neither would admit anything and Jack no longer worried what Sam had discovered. He didn't want any more secrets between them. Whatever, she knew hadn't been bad enough to make her pack up and leave Dodge. For that, he was grateful. Yeah. Jack tipped his hat to the Keeper of The Stars. '_Thanks, Lord.'_

One important revelation had been unveiled from Bel´ju's brief body snatching. Jack sensed, no he knew without doubt that he and Sam's lives were far more interwoven than he'd ever imagined possible. Sam shared the same vivid dreams he'd had these last fifteen years. Dreams of tender passion as well as fear, pain, horror and above all lose. A lose that to this day he often consciously experienced, but could not identify, except to comparing it to when he lost Charlie. And there was something to do with Nirrti. As to what he hadn't a clue.

Jack sniffed as a maverick tear wet his cheek. _Crap!_ He stole a quick glance at Sam, relived she didn't notice and if she did, he'd write it off to sentimentality. Yeah, like she'd buy that whooping fib.

Hands jammed in his front pockets, he rocked on his heels until he felt the need to scratch a particular deep itch of his anatomy. Dang!

"Carter?"

"Sir?"

"I've never seen Homer in a g-thingy before."

"It's a thong."

"Whatever." He scrunched his face with physical discomfort. "I can't believe people think these things are comfortable."

"I do." Sam grinned.

Jack's mouth opened, closed, and then just well, hung ajar.

"Sir, you're drooling."

"Funny." He snapped his jaw shut trying to swim free of the erotic visions washing over him. He finally cleared his mind and throat. "So where'd ya get it?"

"On eBay."

"You gotta be kidding!"

"Nope. It's amazing what you can order online, sir. But your Homer is a one of a kind."

"Well, that's a load off the gray matter."

She laughed softly. "Yeah, this seamstress, Carol Sue, sews them out of her home. She crochets too. I told her what I wanted and voila! Hey, if you want she'll crochet a table doily with your name."

"Oy! No thanks."

"Party pooper."

"Ya think?"

"Here's what I think, sir . . ." Standing against the Control Room's main wall, Sam's left hand snaked around and goosed him beneath his blue BDU shirt.

"Ow!" Jack snatched her hand and held tight before letting go. "You're so enjoying this, aren't you?" He discreetly rubbed his bruised cheek.

"Yeah sure yabetcha." She winked.

"Makes me love you more, Carter." He smiled as their gazes locked and loaded with mutual passion.

"And you think I'm evil." She winked and glanced back at the party.

"Speaking of evil, Major. That um diary?"

"What about it?" She sipped her punch.

"All those vicious things you said about me."

"Yes?"

"You mean it?"

"Inferiority complex, Colonel?"

"No! Umm . . . Just . . . Well, didn't think you saw me in that annoying way."

"You'd be amazed how I see you." She licked her lips suggestively.

"And still love me?" he whispered with a crooked grin.

"For sure."

"But you don't like my tangerine khakis?"

"Adore them."

"Nice." He smiled.

"My stocking cap?"

She snorted.

"Oh." His mouth ironed out. "Well, next time I have to dig it out of the locker room garbage, I'll know where to find you."

"Counting on it, sir."

"So we're even Steven, Carter?" Jack glanced from the corner of his eyes.

"For now. The night's young." She winked. "So are we."

"Well, there you go. So, we still on for dinner?"

"Yep."

"Excellent!" Life was good! Looking around, Jack spied Jay Felger on the move with Sam in his crosshairs. Jack aimed a _'don't even think about it'_ glint at the lovesick puppy. Fortunately, Sam didn't notice when the scientist flinched and walked away.

"Hey, everyone, we've got a double chocolate cake to cut. So get the birthday boy over here," Cassie yelled out.

"Geez," Jack reddened. "So help me, if you guys start singing happy birthday or expect me to make a wish, I'm outta here!"

"Attention, incoming Wormhole!"

"Yes! Saved by the bell!" Jack made an exaggerated hand jerk in the air.

"Sir." Sam frowned at his childish antic.

"Hey, I'll kiss whoever comes through the vertical toilet bowl." He chafed his hands when the chevrons on the gate began to rotate.

"Deal." Sam grinned as they moved the tables clear of the ramp before the event horizon swooshed into the room.

"Chevron six encoded . . ."

Jack wondered what was up. This was one rare day when there were no off world missions. Everyone but the Alpha site team was home and accounted for. Jack glanced into the Control Room. Hammond appeared at ease about whoever their visitor was, let alone in the middle of Jack's party. He got a gut ache. Jack glanced at his wife who was smiling, her blues sparkling with anticipation. Daniel looked expectantly at Jack.

He shrugged, assuming it was Teal'c.

"Well?" Sam elbowed him.

"Yeah, sure. I'll kiss whomever as long as they're human. But on the face, no butt cheeks." He'd kissed Teal'c before and could do it again. Yeah.

"That'll due."

"Cheveron eight . . ."

Hammond walked up alongside them. "Got a guest for a couple of weeks, people, seems that—."

Before he could finish Jacob Carter strolled through the gate in his USAF green BDU's.

"You knew!" Jack accused Sam who was looking naively at her boots.

"Of course, sir."

"This sucks."

Everyone stepped forward and shook hands yadda, yadda.

"Hey, Kiddo, how's it going?" Jacob latched onto Sam.

"Glad you're here, Dad." She hugged back.

"Hey, thought I could use a few weeks R&R with my favorite daughter."

His arm linked around Sam, Jacob turned to Jack. "Happy birthday."

"Thanks, Jacob." He couldn't forget their last exchange and assumed Dad wanted to pickup where they'd left off. Jacob appeared calm, cool and collected. Worse, he smiled at Jack as if he liked him or something. Had Jack missed another memo?

"Oh, this is from Charlie," Jacob presented him with a gift. "He wanted to be here, but is in negotiations with the Retu rebels _'Mother'_ had organized before her death."

"That's our boy." Smiling, Jack took the present but chose not to open it here.

"And Charlie said this for you, Sam." Jacob gave her a smaller gift.

Jack looked over her shoulder and grinned. Sam glanced back and nodded at their silent pack to open them together later.

Selmak dropped in. "We received the report of Bel´ju's death. She was a viable asset to our war against the Goa'uld. Her loss is regretful. Her contributions will be missed."

_Yeah, I bet._ Jack made a noticeable unhappy face.

Sam's eyes misted.

"Yeah, well . . ." Jack bit back what he really wanted to say and instead shrugged.

Carter nudged him and it wasn't about Bel´ju.

'Um, Jacob?"

"Jack?"

He stepped over, grabbed Sam's father in a brotherly embrace and then—kissed him—on the cheek.

Jacob pulled free. "Well—I won't ask what that was about."

"Don't," Jack muttered turning beet red.

The elder Carter eyed-balled Jack as if he'd grown two heads, but then smiled when he met Sam's laughing eyes.

Daniel snickered.

Cassandra giggled.

"So," Hammond cleared his throat. "Let's have that cake, Colonel."

"Do I have to?" Jack rolled his eyes.

"That's an order!" George snickered.

Cassie looped her arm in Jack's and dragged him toward the cake Siler was lighting with a blowtorch. Okay, so it was one of those fire starter wand thingy's. Jack envisioned the Gate Room bursting into flames because of his candle-frosted cake.

Arm-in-arm with Dad, Sam watched her husband's stiff but sexy gait. Knowing what he wore beneath his fatigues made her hot. Homer never had it so good. Ah, payback had its bennies. Being married to Jack O'Neill was the best benny of all.

"Hey, Carter, grab a fire extinguisher!" he barked as he failed to defuse the trick candles, surrounded by an audience of over a hundred hungry coworkers.

"Coming, sir."

After retrieving the extinguisher Sam found the man she loved, bent over his blazing cake with one arm around Cassandra, blowing his heart out and grinning like a ten-year old. The lyrics of Jack's love song tripping through her head, Sam knew without a doubt . . .

'_It was no accident me finding you Someone had a hand in it Long before we ever knew . . ."_

The End. . . . Nada!

Please go to the fic: **Conflict of the Hearts – S4**


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